Pretend You're Mine(62)
Harper lifted her head and cupped his face in her hands. “I think I love you,” she sighed pitifully. “And don’t you dare tell me this is why you didn’t want to have sex.”
His hands stilled on her skin for the briefest of moments before resuming their slow strokes. It was his turn for silence.
“Did I scare you?” she whispered against his neck.
Luke pinched her lightly. “Maybe a little.”
Harper sat up in his lap. “This is new for me. I don’t know if I like it.” She sounded so forlorn, Luke couldn’t help but smile.
“I suppose there are worse things.”
“Really? Because I can’t think of any right at this exact moment. This is really inconvenient.” She took a deep breath and sat up again. “Oh my God! What if I spend the rest of my life pining over the guy I met in Benevolence?”
Luke pinched her again. “Look, Harper —” he began.
“I didn’t tell you to hear you say it back. I know it’s not something that you feel for me and I don’t need to hear the reasons why. I just wanted you to know.”
“Harper, we should probably talk. But first, let’s find some clothes for you since I destroyed yours.”
They ate subs cross-legged on the floor of Luke’s office. Luke had scrounged up a Garrison Construction t-shirt and a pair of way-too-big gym shorts for Harper.
She waited until he had taken the last bite of his turkey and cheese. “So let’s talk.”
Luke took his time crumpling his napkin and tucking the trash back in his paper bag.
He took a deep breath. “A few years ago, I went through a rough patch. I lost some people close to me and it took me a long time to recover.”
“People in your unit?”
He nodded. “And someone at home shortly after.”
“Someone you were close to?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, Luke.” She put her hand on his knee. “It’s never easy to lose someone you care about, and it’s even worse when it’s more than one.”
He thought of a scared little seven-year-old without her parents and squeezed her hand.
“It was a dark time.”
“And that’s why your family —”
“Tortures me with their well-meaning, but overbearing attention?”
“How do you feel about deploying again?”
“I’ve deployed since. It’s never easy. But it’s necessary and that gets you through the hard times.”
“Did you feel responsible?”
He answered without hesitation. “Yes. And I still do.”
“Even though you know it’s not your fault?”
“Fault and responsibility don’t have to be related.”
“What about the person you lost here?”
“Losing her changed things for me. I won’t do it again.”
Harper nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“It doesn’t make me not probably love you.”
“Harper —”
She slapped a hand over his mouth. “I don’t need you to drive the point home. You can’t love me back. You don’t want to be in a relationship. I get it.”
“I’m sorry, Harper.”
“Don’t be. My feelings for you aren’t dependent on yours for me. I like you. I probably love you. I think you’re an amazing guy. End of story.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“Enjoying the rest of the week.”
“Why would you want to if there’s nothing long term to be won here?”
“Have you met me? What in my life has ever been long term? Life is too short not to grab on to the good times while they last.”
“You’re a pretty amazing woman, Harper Wilde.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Harper was running late. Max had slipped his collar after spotting the beagle from three houses down running loose. She spent half an hour chasing them down, returning the beagle to a very grateful Mr. and Mrs. Scotts, and then carrying Max in a vice-like grip back to the house.
Luke had called a morning staff meeting and Harper wanted to get the latest numbers in front of him beforehand. Her hair was still damp from a very hasty shower and she was pretty sure she had missed a button on her blouse.
It wasn’t until she was dashing out the front door digging for her keys that she realized they — and her car — weren’t there.
Luke pulled the door closed, wrangling a travel mug and a stack of papers. “You’re riding with me today.”
“Where’s my car?”
Luke started down the front porch steps. “It’s at the garage.”
“Why the hell is my car at the garage?” She followed on his heels.