Pretend You're Mine(24)
“Your parents, the fire, your idiot of an ex. Your resiliency is impressive. How does that happen?”
“It’s not really impressive when there isn’t another option. What am I supposed to do, be all ‘woe is me’ for the rest of my life? I still get access to the same sunrises everyone else does, the same 24 hours in a day. And if I don’t take advantage of those things, it’s my own fault.”
“So the world is too big and beautiful to be sad?” He was teasing her.
“I can still be sad. But I don’t have to wallow or completely ignore the good that is still waiting for me. That’s careless and wasteful.”
Luke was silent for a moment, twisting his glass on the tabletop.
“Also, since you asked, my birthday is March 3. I went to University of Maryland and got a bachelor’s in business. I’m halfway through my MBA online. And growing up without parents was hard. Every holiday, every birthday, graduation, you’re always acutely aware that you’re missing something. Someone.”
Luke nodded. “Favorite color?”
“Red. But not a maroon or pinky red. Blood red. Do I get to ask you questions?”
Luke shook his head. “Let’s focus on you.”
“Nice try. What was it like growing up with parents? And having a brother and sister?”
“Chaos. You’ve been to Sunday dinner.”
Harper tossed her napkin at him. “I’m serious!”
“So am I.” But he relented. “I don’t know. Sometimes you wished that you could just be alone and other times you’re grateful to have them all over you. We’re close. Sometimes too close. But I grew up with my dad at every football game. I sat through all of Sophie’s dance recitals. James and I spent every summer barefoot and playing in the creek from dawn to dusk. Mom forced us to sit down at the table every night. Sometimes it was 4:30 and sometimes we didn’t eat until 9, but we were all there together.”
Harper smiled. “That sounds how I always imagined it.”
“Didn’t you ever live with other kids?”
“Sure, but it’s just different. You’re only there temporarily. Some of the homes had a ton of kids, so there wasn’t enough time to pay attention to us all. Others had biological or adopted kids who were in established routines and activities and that took precedence. Most of the time, I was just lost in the shuffle.”
“And you wanted more.”
Harper nodded. She had desperately wanted more. Still did.
“Don’t you?”
“Sometimes.”
She laughed. “You like your nice, quiet life.”
Luke cracked a smile. “It’s not very quiet these days.”
“Are you nervous about deploying?”
He sliced into a roll, buttered it. “No.”
“Have you been to Afghanistan before?”
“Yes.”
“Chatty Cathy over here.”
“What did you see in this Ted guy?” He changed the subject with no attempt at subtlety, and Harper decided to give him a break.
But it necessitated a large gulp of beer. “Ugh. I’ve been asking myself that. My friend Hannah warned me. I was new on the job. I thought he was cute, except for the goatee. He seemed like he was a good boss. And then he started bringing me coffee in the mornings. Sending me funny emails ...”
“You’re a hearts and flowers girl.”
“If by ‘hearts and flowers’ you mean a romantic, then yes. I still believe that there’s a guy out there who’s going to sweep me off of my feet and live happily ever after with me.”
Luke smirked. “The knight in shining armor who rides in to save the day.”
“I don’t know about that. Sometimes you have to save yourself or someone else. But I wouldn’t mind riding off into the sunset with someone.”
“You women and your desire for grand romantic gestures.”
Harper laughed. “Please, the only time a woman needs a grand romantic gesture is when she doesn’t know she’s loved.”
“I’m not buying that. What about the girls who pick out their own $15,000 engagement ring and demand a wedding for 400 guests?”
“Apples to oranges. There’s a difference between being on the receiving end of a grand romantic gesture and demanding to be the very expensive center of attention. On one hand, you have someone who wants to make sure that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt how they feel about you. On the other hand, some poor schmuck is just buying a gimmie girl off with sparkly presents and lots of attention.”
“A gimmie girl? Now that paints a picture.” Luke laughed and Harper warmed at the sight of his dimple.