Pretend You're Mine(135)

“No, if they would have stopped at one perfect child like mine did then you’d be right. The human heart can love more than one person. You love your parents, don’t you?”

Luke nodded.

“Soph? Josh? James? Obviously you love me, otherwise you wouldn’t idolize the shit out of me. You have room, and just because you love someone else, doesn’t mean you’re wiping the slate clean.”

“Thanks, Moretta. Sometimes you’re not a complete idiot.”

“No need to be a dick when I’ve been holding back my comments on how fucking creepy it is that you have the lives of two women boxed up in your house. I didn’t want to crush your fragile feelings.”

Luke’s gaze tracked to the boxes. Shit. That was creepy.

***

Luke stopped the truck at the tree-lined curb. The cemetery rolled on to his right. He always parked here. The slow walk to and from Karen’s grave was as much a part of the ritual as him standing quietly over her headstone. He usually came at night when the chances of running into anyone else were slim.

He could see her plot from here. She had a visitor.

Luke felt his heart stutter at the familiar flash of blond hair. She was wrapped up in a cheery red scarf, but no coat. Probably forgot it in the car or at the office.

He watched as Harper carefully laid something on the grave. She was kneeling next to it, shoulders hunched to the cold.

The vulnerability burned in his gut. He had hurt her, purposely out of fear, and now they both were paying the price. Luke reached for the door handle. But a movement from Harper caught his eye and stalled him.

He watched her straighten her shoulders, kiss her fingertips and lay them lightly on the stone. Luke felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

Harper stood briskly and brushed off her knees before disappearing.

Luke waited a beat before approaching the grave.

There was a small arrangement of evergreen sprigs and holly wrapped in a checkered ribbon resting against the cold granite. He ran his fingers over the K.

“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?” He sighed and squinted up at the thick December clouds. “I’m just not good at life without you. I don’t know what to do. Things were so much ... easier when you were here. Harper is not easy. She’s a walking disaster.”

Luke sighed. “I worry about her. She’s the kind of person who would offer a ride to a serial killer or open the door to a homicidal clown. She’s flighty and stubborn. When I was gone this summer, I had James mow the lawn because I was afraid she would chop off her foot with the riding mower.

“I don’t understand why I feel this pull to her. Why I want to be near her. Why I can’t wait to hear what she’s going to say next. She’s not you. And I love you. But I love her, too. And I don’t know if that’s okay.

“I don’t even know if it’s okay to talk to you about this. But you’re the smartest person I know and if anyone has the answer, it’s going to be you.”

Luke scrubbed his hands over his face. “Tell me what to do, Karen.”

“She would probably tell you to get your head out of your ass.”

Luke jumped at the voice and turned around.

Joni stood with her hands tucked into the pockets of her charcoal gray barn coat. Her cheeks flushed from the wind and the chill.

For years, it had been his fear that he would run into Joni at Karen’s grave. Confrontation on hallowed ground. There would be nothing to say to defend himself because he was guilty of everything she accused him of.

What would she say now with two women between them? The living and the dead.

“Oh, Luke,” she sighed, moving to stand next to him so they faced the stone together. “We’ve failed our girl in so many ways.”

“I didn’t mean to love Harper. I tried not to.”

“That’s not what I meant, dummy. Do you really think Karen would want you to live alone for the rest of your life?

“What are the odds, Luke, that Harper would end up here in Benevolence? There is no way this was a coincidence. She was meant for you. She needs you. To love her, to protect her, to be her family. And you need her.”

“I feel like I’m turning my back on Karen.”

“By being happy without her?”

Luke nodded and swallowed hard.

“That’s the greatest gift you could give her. It’s the only thing she would want from you, from me. Us living a life full of love and happiness and remembering how lucky we are to have known her. And I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of letting her down.”

“Do you think Karen would like Harper?”

“Who do you think sent her to you, Luke? Harper was picked out for you and delivered straight to you.”