Pretend You're Mine(106)
“The thought had crossed my mind.” He felt his mouth lift slightly.
Joni took a deep breath, her brown curls dancing in the chilly wind. “It all started a few months ago when I ran into Harper. When I found out who she was, I laid into her something fierce.”
Luke tensed and Joni held up her hands. “Don’t worry. She set me straight. Told me I was being stupid, but that sometimes grief makes people do stupid things. And she was right. When I lost Karen — when we lost Karen, I felt like I died that day, too. You had your family and your business, and the Guard, but she was my life. I was scared that you were going to move on and forget about her. That her life — and mine — meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. I blamed you.” She choked out the last words and Luke crossed his arms, but said nothing.
“I wanted it to be your fault, but the truth is it was mine.”
“Joni, you were right to blame me. If I hadn’t asked her to meet me —”
Joni was shaking her head, tears threatening to escape. “I texted her. Told her I was running late. She was reading my text when she crossed the center lane. It was me. It was my fault.”
Luke’s breath rushed out of him. He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It was an accident.”
“How many people have said that to you over the years? And how many times has it made you stop feeling guilty?”
“A lot. And zero.” He leaned back against the railing. “I don’t blame you, Joni.”
“I don’t blame you either, Luke. I don’t think I ever really did. I’m so sorry for what I said at the funeral. I’m sorry for shutting out your family when all they tried to do was help. And I’m sorry for saying what I said to Harper even thought she told me if I apologize one more time she was going to smack me.”
Luke cracked a smile at that.
“Anyway, after Harper and I hashed it out, she invited me to Sunday dinner at your family’s and ... well, here we are. I’ll understand if you don’t want me ... around.”
“You’re family.” He said it and meant it.
They glanced through the glass of the diner window to their little group passing plates of pancakes and eggs. “I know coming from me and our situation, this might be awkward, but I like Harper. A lot.”
Luke nodded. Yeah, that was awkward.
She put her hand on his arm. “There’s one more thing.”
“I’m not sure if I can take anything else right now.” Luke was only half kidding.
“I knew about the baby. Karen told me and swore me to secrecy. I just wanted you to know that I know all that you lost that day.”
***
Harper watched anxiously through the window. At least there wasn’t any screaming or storming off. That had to be a good sign.
She took a deep breath. When she crawled out of bed this morning, she had no idea what an emotional day she would be facing.
Joni and Luke returned. Joni was smiling, but Luke’s expression was unreadable. His gaze locked on to Harper’s face. He took the seat next to her, but instead of hauling her up against his side, he maintained a careful distance. She wished they were alone and turned her attention back to her eggs.
He was home and that’s what mattered. They would figure everything else out.
The happy breakfast crowd lingered over coffee and stories. Everyone was eager to fill Luke in on the last six months, and he was happy to listen. Harper listened with half an ear and tried not to worry about all the things she and Luke would have to catch up on.
Joni left first to tackle a list of errands.
Luke’s hand snaked under the table and gripped her knee. Harper put her hand on his and squeezed. His touch made her entire body hum.
“Let’s get out of here,” he whispered in her ear, lips brushing her sensitive flesh.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Home. Luke had thought of this house and what it held more times than he could count in the last six months. The bones were the same, but the passing of time was evident in the small details.
A lot had happened in six months. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about some of it. He wasn’t sure how a lot of people felt about it. Harper had been unusually quiet during the ride home. He didn’t know how Joni had come into the picture, but he did know what it meant. Harper knew about Karen.
The tickle of panic he felt when he saw Joni and Harper together hadn’t subsided yet. His worlds had collided, and he wasn’t sure what the ramifications would be. Seeing Joni at breakfast with his family, with Harper, had knocked him back. He never expected that relationship to resurface. Being around her was like being catapulted into the past. The words she’d said at Karen’s funeral still cut at him. Her words were his thoughts. And now an apology? Joni owed him nothing. He was the one who owed the apology — to Joni and to Harper.