Pretend It's Love(25)

They took, took, took without regard to anyone else.

"What did they say?" He ground the question out through clenched teeth.

"It doesn't matter … all you need to know is that I wanted to stick up for you."

"What did they say?" Humiliation coursed through him, curling in his gut like a poisonous snake.

Libby ran a hand through her hair. "I don't want to repeat it."

He sat still as a statue, shutting down his emotions. Packing them all  into a tight ball and pushing them deep down as he'd done day after day  since Sadie left. He knew eventually the pain would stop, but every so  often something happened to split him apart, and it would all come  tumbling out if he wasn't careful.

He looked at the scar on his right hand, the one he'd gotten when he put  his fist through a wall after bumping into Sadie and his cousin right  before they got married.

"Tell me, Libby." He drew a slow breath. "I need to know."

"You're just going to torture yourself with it." She shook her head. "I  told them that you're perfect just the way you are. That we're happy  together and I don't want to change a single thing about you."

He felt a "but" coming on.

"But," she said, steadying her breathing. "Something else kind of slipped out."

"What?"

"I told them … " She grimaced.

"God, Libby, you're killing me. Spit it out."

"I told them we were thinking about getting married."

The words seemed to suck the life out of the room, turning it into a  vacuum. His head pounded, the ramifications of her words flying at him  thick and fast like a swarm of wasps.

He shook his head. "Say that again?"

Her face begged him not to make her repeat the admission, but he held  his tongue until she sighed, defeated. "I told them we were thinking  about getting married."

He gaped at her. "What on earth possessed you to do that?"

"I couldn't listen to them say these things that were untrue and … " She  swallowed. "Unkind. You deserve better than that, and I got so angry  that I confronted them. It slipped out."

"How does the invention of a marriage proposal simply slip out?"

For someone who claimed to have no interest in long-term relationships  it didn't exactly seem like a go-to defensive move. Unless of course his  wretched cousin and cheating ex were saying he wasn't marriage  material. It wasn't exactly a stretch.

His hands curled around the arms of the sofa, fingertips rubbing against the beginnings of a split in the worn leather.

"I don't know," she said, her eyes wide and blank.

He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees. The old Paul would  have suspected Libby of using this situation to manipulate an outcome,  force him down a specific path. But he knew her. Really knew her.

She wasn't that kind of girl, and she'd said she believed in him. Maybe she was just trying to protect him?

Libby hung her head. "I'm mortified."

He wanted to say something to comfort her, assure her that it would be  okay, but the combative emotions swirling within him prevented any words  from coming out. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but  the lie had posed a whole new set of complications. Especially if word  got back to his parents that the dreaded M word had been uttered.

The clock on his wall ticked loudly, counting the stretch of silent shock.

Much to his confusion, he wasn't totally repelled by the idea that  people thought he and Libby would be married. Since she'd said those  damning words he'd been waiting for the dread to come … but it hadn't.  Confusion, yes. Remorse for digging himself into a giant hole, probably.  But dread? No.         

     



 

Her fists clenched and unclenched in her lap. "I'm so sorry, Paul. I really don't know what came over me."

At this point he was more annoyed with his own lack of reaction than he  was with her. This was exactly the kind of thing that should make him  want to run for the hills but instead he sat there, wishing he could  ease her pain. Feeling bad for her that she'd been put in a situation  where she needed to use such a preposterous lie to defend him.

It was official. Paul Chapman was broken.

What happened to drawing a line in the sand?

"Say something," she said, her hazel eyes burning into him. Her tongue  darted out to moisten her lips as she hovered at the edge of the sofa,  her dress spread out like frosting on a cupcake.

"You were defending my honor," he said, a laugh bubbling up from nowhere. Broken and crazy, what a combination.

She looked at him like he'd sprouted antennae and had started talking an alien language. "It's not funny."

"No, it's ridiculous."

He should be mad. Looking at all the facts, she'd made his life a whole  lot harder. How were they going to explain the engagement away without  making either one of them look bad?

But the idea of Libby getting so worked up trying to defend him that  she'd blurted out this completely insane lie … well, it warmed something  inside him. Some cold part that had been frozen and packed away long  ago.

"We'll make it work." He stood and held out a hand to Libby to help her up from her chair. "We don't have much choice now."

"You're not mad?" She grabbed his hand and followed him into the kitchen.

He shrugged. "Being mad is not going to fix the situation."

Not only was he not mad, but the gesture touched him in some strange,  illogical way. That little nugget of information, however, would follow  him to the grave.

"I'm not that person who does insane things on a whim."

"You dropped out of med school to start your own business despite having  no support from your family. That sounds pretty insane to me." He  turned on his coffee machine and grabbed two cups from the cupboard.

"Insane, maybe. On a whim … no. I'd been plotting a way to get out of med  school since the first day of the course." A ghost of a smile crossed  her face.

"So you favor planned insanity over the spontaneous kind?" he quipped.  "Let me make sure I understand what happened. You told Sadie and Gina  we're getting married, right? Was anyone else there?"

"Your mother." She looked down at her lap.

Paul cringed. "Okay, so it's safe to assume the whole family knows."

"I made her promise not to tell anyone."

The sincerity radiating from her face was touching. But she clearly knew nothing about the way the Chapman family operated.

"That promise is about as solid as cotton candy." He held a cup under  the spout on the coffee machine, and the scent of freshly ground beans  filled the air. "I guarantee you, by now everyone believes we're getting  married."

"I told them we were thinking about it." She accepted a cup from him and blew on the steam.

"How did my mother react?"

She grimaced, pressing a palm to her forehead. "Like I'd announced that  unicorns had been sent to make all her problems go away."

He gave her a pointed look.

"Okay fine, so they think we're getting married. What do we do?" She  sipped her cup, a line forming between her brows. "We're supposed to  break up after the wedding. Won't it be worse if we're supposedly  engaged?"

Paul swallowed against the distaste in his mouth. He knew their time was  coming to an end, but he couldn't seem to think about it without his  body repelling the idea.

Of all the things you should be worried about with this situation … it's not that.

"It will, but that's what we have to work with now." He finished making his coffee and carried it to the kitchen bench.

She nodded, her fingertip tracing the rim of her cup. Silence settled  over them; there wasn't much more to say on the issue of their sudden  "engagement." Libby had done the right thing by coming to him  straightaway instead of letting him find out by the inevitable phone  call that would come in the morning.

"Anyway, I've got bigger things to focus on," he said.

"Like what?" Libby's face was a mask of relief at the change of topic.

"I've been working on the business plan. You're right, I do need to take it seriously … even if I think all the detail is stupid."         

     



 

She grinned. "I'm glad you came to that conclusion all by yourself."

"I'm sick of not going for things that I want." He nodded, as if  convincing himself. "I want this, I know it's a good idea, and it will  bring in more money for First. I'm the best person to do it since I'm  way more charming than Des and Noah."

Feelings warred within him: pride, fear, hope, and excitement. All  battling for control. He had to channel them into something before he  blurted out that he had feelings for her. That their "relationship" had  changed him already … for the better.

"You're smarter than you give yourself credit for," she said, her face  sincere for a moment before she realized what she'd said. "But you're  not smarter than me."