King leaned forward against his hands on the back of the sofa across from me. "Tell me something, this new look of yours got anything to do with this chick coming back around?"
"How the fuck do you know she was back around?"
King raised his eyebrows as if I should already know. I did.
"Ray," I muttered.
King nodded.
Not being able to sit in one spot any longer I stood up and paced in front of the couch. "No, this ain't got shit to do with her," I answered, and it was the truth. How would I even go about telling my friends that I shaved my head and face bald because I hated looking at myself only to find that I hated the shaved version of me even more? They'd been through so much thinking I was dead. The last thing they needed was to bare my fucking burdens as well.
That's why I was never going to tell them everything that happened with Chop.
Never.
They both eyed me skeptically. I was about to explain further that they didn't need to worry about Dre when Bear's eyes lit up. "Fuck, I remember her now. I remember talking to you about her. Her dad was looking for her or something like that..." his face lit up in a huge smile and I wanted to both smile back and punch him in the god damned face when I realized what memory he was recalling. "How the fuck did I almost forget that?"
"Forget what?" King asked.
Bear scrunched up his forehead as he tried to recall the memory. "I can't remember all the details, but it was here. A party I think."
"Yeah, sounds about right," I said.
"You had her...here?" King asked.
"Why is that so strange? We had all sorts of bitches at our parties."
Bear's smile grew even brighter and I froze, knowing exactly what he was about to say because I saw the memories taking hold in that brain of his. "'Cause this is the only bitch we both had our dicks in at the same time."
I could have said a million things but instead I chose to change the subject. "So when are we having my homecoming party?" I asked.
"You ready for that?"
"I'm ready for anything," I said, snorting another line and hoping the blow would help me believe my own lie.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DRE
The house itself felt the same but looked a little different. The garage had either been remodeled or replaced because even in the dark it looked brand new. The main house had a new coat of paint for sure. The numerous windows are clean and appear to have new white window frames. The soffit that had been rusting and falling down were all new as well. The space under the house that used to be cluttered with random broken parts was completely clear of junk and was now being used as parking. The truck that Ray had driven when she came to see me at Mirna's took up the space on the far wall. Several motorcycles took up the rest.
Torches with bright flames burned along the front walkway. All the lights were glowing from the bottom story, but only a single light was on upstairs, the window glowing yellow before whoever was in that room, that VERY familiar room, abruptly shut the blinds.
"This was a really bad idea," I whispered to Brandon who wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I shouldn't have come." I turned back around but Brandon grabbed me by the wrist.
"You're here now, Dre. You came to sell the house and get closure right? Well," he said, gesturing to the house. Laughter, along with the light thump from the beat of the music playing echoed from the backyard. I knew where Brandon was about to say and he must have saw that I knew because he never finished his sentence. Instead, he took my hand and pulled me toward the house. I could've argued but there was no point. I hated it when he was right, which was often. I tried to relax my stiff shoulders by taking a deep calming breath and exhaling slowly.
Nope, didn't work.
"Hey, over here" Ray shouted, spotting us from the porch, waving her arms around in the air. "I'm so glad you made it," she said, approaching us. With Ray was the same beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair who was there the day I discovered that Preppy was alive. "This is Thia," Ray introduced.
"You can call me, Ti," she offered with a sweet smile. My eyes dropped to the humungous baby belly between us. "Yeah, I know, I'm huge," Ti said when she saw where I was looking. She patted her belly. "Any day now though and this little munchkin will finally stop stomping on my bladder. I swear to Christ I feel like the baby is using my pelvis as a trampoline. Up and down and up and down. I'm in shock I haven't split in two yet." I could feel how uncomfortable she was. Beads of sweat appeared on her pale skin, spotting over the bridge of her nose and cheeks. She fanned herself with her hand. "Is it hot out here? I feel like it's really hot."
It was the coolest night since I'd arrived in Logan's Beach, although that meant it was in the seventies so to a pregnant woman that had to still be borderline surface of the sun temperature.
"I'm Brandon," Brandon offered, shaking Ti's hand.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce you again," I apologized.
"No worries, I know you have a lot on your mind." Brandon gave my shoulder a squeeze and didn't let go. He turned toward Ray and Thia. "Ladies, I think this one here could use a drink."
"Yes!" Ray said, holding up her own beer dripping with condensation. Thia looked at it lovingly. Like it was an old friend she missed dearly. I tried not to laugh, hiding my smile behind my hand. "I'll show you where the coolers are," Ray said, hooking her arm with mine. She led me away from Brandon who offered to help Thia back up the steps into the house to find Bear.
Ray showed me where the coolers were against her house in the back. There was a crowd of people in all forms of sitting, standing, and leaning, around the bonfire in the backyard. The smell of cigarette smoke and weed hovered in the still night air. Ray reached into one of the coolers and twisted off the top of a beer, she handed it to me.
I took a sip of the bubbly liquid, scanning the crowd before me. I told myself I wasn't looking for HIM, but I knew it was a lie. I would also have been lying to myself if I said that the tight high waisted black pencil skirt I was wearing that hugged my hips and ass wasn't for him. Neither was the fitted blue polka dotted tank top with the heart shaped bra cups that pushed my cleavage up to unbelievable limits. Neither was the hour I spent curling my hair into perfect barrel curls and trimming my bangs to fall just right off to the side. Or the bright red on my lips or the dab of perfume behind my ears.
So even if it WAS for him. It was for me too.
It had been a long time since I'd dressed in the pin-up style that I loved so much, but the second my foot hit the ground on Logan's Beach soil I felt a need to wear the clothes I loved to feel more connected to the place I loved. I rarely wore jewelry but I'd slipped on my grandmother's tiny diamond engagement ring that my grandpa had given to her when he proposed and she'd given to me when I was still just a kid and couldn't appreciate it like I did now. I'm glad my dad had it tucked away in a safety deposit box and given it to me as a gift after I completed rehab, because there was no doubt if I'd had it earlier that I would have pawned it at some point during what I started to refer to in my head as THE DARK YEARS.
I didn't spot Preppy but I instantly recognized Billy, the chef who cooked the crab Preppy and I had caught. It wasn't hard to spot him, it's not like I could miss him. He was almost seven feet tall, standing at least a head taller than most of the crowd and the bulk of his body was massive. The jean overalls he wore without a shirt underneath wasn't exactly an outfit that blended in either. He stood at the very back of the crowd, a mason jar to his lips.
I tapped my foot to the Kane Brown song playing over the speaker perched on the bottom step of the back porch and pretended like I was relaxing when in reality I felt like my airway was tightening, cutting off my ability to breath with each passing second.
King came over to us, tipped his head to acknowledge me, and grabbed her by hand, dragging her off without saying a word.
Very caveman, I thought.
Very fucking hot.
Thia found Bear because I spotted them standing by the bonfire where King had pushed his way to the front, pulling Ray behind him but I didn't see Brandon anywhere.
Suddenly I felt an awareness course through my body. It hit me so hard my nipples tightened under my shirt. I knew exactly who I was going to see when I turned around toward where I felt the pull rippling through the air. I held my breath. I knew he'd be there.
But I wasn't prepared for how I felt when I saw him.
Sweaty palms. Rapidly beating heart. A feeling of excitement and panic all at the same time.
It was just like when I started using heroin. Right before I plunged the needle in my arm there was a feeling almost as good as the high itself.
The anticipation. The fear.
I knew deep inside that it didn't matter how prepared I was to see him, because I'd never be prepared for the way Preppy made me feel.
The second I spotted him in the crowd I knew that this wasn't going to be some sort of warm and fuzzy reunion .
No, it was a fucking relapse.
CHAPTER TWELVE
PREPPY
"Not this fucking guy again!" a high pitched feminine voice behind me shouted, a girl of blonde hair flashed in front of my eyes but I didn't need to see her face to know who the source of that annoying voice was.