Was this it, then? After all the suspicion, all the accusations, and all the arguments, now that Sin had decided he didn’t want her was he putting her out of his life, sending her back to England as quickly as possible?
For a moment Luccy felt a fierce shaft of pain in her chest, as if her heart were actually breaking, and then the numbness took over, pervading every part of her, dulling that pain to just a nagging ache.
It was over.
Sin was giving her exactly what she had said she wanted.
To go back to England.
To bring the baby up on her own.
When the only thing that Luccy really wanted, the only thing that really mattered to her—Sin himself—she could never have.
‘Fine.’ She rose slowly to her feet. ‘I—you’ll give me chance to say goodbye to Wallace before I go?’
‘Of course.’ Sin’s mouth twisted self-derisively as he acknowledged that Luccy had grown more fond of Wallace in the last twenty-four hours than she had of him in the months since they had first met.
She looked very pale in the moonlight, almost ghostly, her white knee-length dress adding to that illusion. Sin’s hands clenched into fists at his sides as he acknowledged that this was probably the last time he would be alone with her like this.
Damn it, self-sacrifice had never been a part of his nature!
But neither was forcing someone else’s will to his own.
He didn’t want to let Luccy go. He was only doing it because he knew he had no other choice…
Maybe once Luccy returned to England, once she felt back in control of her own life, he could—they could—
He was deluding himself now. Luccy didn’t want him in her life. Not now. Not ever.
Then he frowned. ‘I expected you to look a lot happier than this.’
‘Did you?’ she returned dully. ‘Maybe I don’t quite trust that it’s happening yet?’
‘No,’ Sin accepted dryly. ‘I’m sure once the plane takes off tomorrow that the relief will kick in!’
Luccy was equally sure that once she even stepped onto that plane tomorrow she was going to feel as if her heart had been ripped right out of her body! She certainly wouldn’t be taking it with her…
She bit her bottom lip to stop it trembling as the numbness began to crack under the strain, allowing the pain to increase to an almost unbearable pitch. ‘I presume you will still want access once the baby is born?’
He nodded. ‘Let me know the name of your lawyer when you get home and I’ll have my own lawyer contact him or her so they can sort out the details.’
Luccy swallowed down the lump that had risen in her throat. Sin was so calm. So businesslike. So cold…
‘Just for the baby. I won’t be needing anything from you for myself—’
‘The lawyers will work out the details, Luccy,’ he repeated harshly.
What exactly did that mean? If Sin thought she was still only interested in what she could get out of him, then—
Leave it, Luccy, she told herself firmly. If there was anything in the agreement that she didn’t like then she could always refuse to sign it. It might even serve to convince Sin that she really wasn’t what he thought she was. Maybe…
‘Very well.’ Luccy managed a dignified nod of her head before she turned to leave, a part of her still hoping that he would stop her, that he would call out, tell her—
Tell her what? That he loved her as she loved him?
How could Sin possibly do that when he didn’t love her?
‘Luccy?’
‘Yes?’ She turned back sharply, Sin just a blur in the moonlight through the tears she was trying to stop from falling.
‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out.’
Luccy gave an abrupt nod before turning away, too distraught to speak, and knowing that the trembling of her voice would give her away if she attempted to do so.
Tomorrow she was going home.
And the only home she wanted, the only home she would ever want, was with Sin, wherever he might be…
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘MASTER SIN…?’
Sin looked up, grateful for Wallace’s interruption from the papers he had been staring at for the last ten minutes or so since coming to his study but not actually managed to read a word of. ‘Yes, Wallace?’ He managed a strained smile.
The butler frowned. ‘I thought you might be interested to know that Miss Luccy has gone.’
Sin frowned darkly. ‘What do you mean—gone?’
‘Gone as in gone, Master Sin.’ The older man grimaced. ‘I took a morning cup of tea to her bedroom just now only to find the room empty and all of her clothes gone from the drawers and wardrobe—I can assure you I am not mistaken, Master Sin,’ he added as Sin stood up as if to go and check for himself. ‘She left a note…’