“So what’s wrong with that picture,” he said, frowning and placing one hand on his hip.
“Because I don’t think you’re going to fall in love. This is a physically satisfying relationship that you can walk away from at any point in time. Emotionally, you’re not in it. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be in love with a man who isn’t in love with me in return.”
“I might fall in love and I think we’ve been good together, and I think I’ve been good with you and to you, Stella.”
“You’ve been fantastic and so very good to me. I don’t want to stop seeing you, I just want to back off and take a breather from the heavy sex. That isn’t like me and I can’t do that without my emotions getting all entangled.”
His frown disappeared and he stepped closer to place one hand lightly on her hip. “I can back off. Are you going to still let me kiss you?”
His question made her feel ridiculous. “As if I could stop you.”
“I don’t use force,” he said as he leaned forward to brush a light kiss on her lips. “Okay, so we don’t go to bed together. You’ll set the parameters and send me home when you want me to go. In the meantime, kisses are good. Don’t cut me off to the point where we don’t even have a chance to fall in love,” he whispered as he brushed kisses on her throat, her ear, the corner of her mouth.
She should have been more firm with him, but when he started talking, standing so close, his eyes filled with desire, his voice lowering, coaxing—she couldn’t say no or tell him to leave. She would have to sometime during the night, but not for a few minutes. There wasn’t any point in ending seeing him before Christmas, because they were going to be thrown together constantly and she didn’t want a pall hanging over them.
And she couldn’t ever end it entirely because of their baby.
His kiss deepened as his arms tightened around her, holding her against him. He was aroused, kissing her passionately, and she stopped thinking and kissed him in return.
Finally he picked her up. She was about to protest when he sat in the closest chair and held her on his lap, but ended up forgetting her protest and wrapping her arms around his neck to continue kissing him. How was she going to protect her heart?
His hand went beneath her sweater to caress her and in minutes he had both hands on her. When he slipped her sweater over her head, she caught his wrists, taking her sweater from him to pull it on again and slide off his lap.
“Aaron, let’s say good-night,” she said, facing him as she straightened her sweater.
“This is really what you want?” he asked.
“Tonight, it is. I need some space to think and sort out things.”
He nodded. “Sure. Maybe you just need some time off. It’s been a great week, Stella. You’ve done so much. You’ve been a great representative for Royal.”
“Thanks. Thanks for everything,” she whispered, scared she would cry or tell him to stay for the night or, worse, walk back into his arms, which was what she wanted.
“See you in the morning, hon,” he said, brushing a kiss on her cheek and leaving.
She closed the door behind him and touched her cheek with her hand while tears spilled over. She loved him and this was going to be hard. After Christmas she would break up with him. But she wasn’t ruining Christmas for either one of them. Suppose she had a little boy who looked like Aaron and was a reminder of his daddy every day of his life?