She was thinking half about the job and half about Aaron, who looked incredible. How was she going to break things off with him?
All she had to do was remember than he had not recovered from his loss enough to even talk about it. He could not love anyone else and she hadn’t changed her views of marrying without love. She wasn’t going to do it.
They ate quietly. She listened to him talk about Royal and the things that had happened in the past few days. Finally, he leaned back in his chair, setting down his glass of water while he gazed at her.
“You’re quiet. You’ve hardly said two words through dinner.”
“Part of it was simply listening to you and learning what happened while we were in Dallas. I’m worn-out from the whirlwind week coming on top of everything else I’ve been doing.”
“I think it’s more than that. You weren’t this quiet yesterday.”
They stared at each other and she then looked down at her lap. “Aaron, tomorrow I move back to my town house. We have the festival coming up and we’re going together. I want to get through that without any big upsets in my life.”
“Why do I feel I’m part of what might be a big upset in your life? I don’t see how I can be, but I don’t think you’d be so quiet with me if I wasn’t.”
“I think it would be better if we talk when we’re upstairs. This really isn’t the place.”
“I’d say that’s incentive to get going,” he said. “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” she said. When she stood up, he held her arm lightly and led her from the dining room, stopping to say something to the maître d’ and then rejoining her.
At her door to her suite, she invited him inside. When they were in the living room, she turned to face him. “What would you like to drink?”
He shook his head as he closed the space between them. He drew her close to kiss her. She melted into his arms, her heart thudding as she kissed him. She wound her arms around him to hold him close, kissing him in return, her resolutions nagging while she ignored them to kiss him.
She ran her fingers in his short, thick hair at the back of his head. She didn’t want to stop kissing. She wanted him in her bed all night long. She thought about his loss and knew she couldn’t keep spending days and nights with him or she would be so hopelessly in love she would be unable to say no to him.
Finally she stepped back. Both of them were breathing hard. She felt a tight pang and wanted him badly. Just one more night—the thought taunted her. It was tempting to give in, to step back into his arms and kiss him and forget all the problems.
In the long run, it would be better to break it off right now. She wouldn’t be hurt as much. She didn’t think he would ever love anyone except the first wife. It had been long enough for him to adjust to his loss better than he had. No one ever got over it, they just learned to deal with it and go on with life.
She could imagine how desperately he wanted this baby after losing his first one. She suspected before long he would start showering her with more presents and pressuring her to marry him—and it would be because of their baby.
She would be glad to have him in their baby’s life, but that was where it would have to stop. She couldn’t go into a loveless marriage just to please Aaron.
She stared at him, making sure she had his attention and he wasn’t thinking about kissing her again. “I can’t do this, Aaron. We’re not wildly in love. I think this is a purely physical relationship. Frankly, it’s lust. If we keep it up, I might fall in love with you.”