Jacob’s gaze dropped to meet Anna’s. Tears streamed down her cheeks. They welled in his as well. He couldn’t even remember another time when he’d cried, but he couldn’t have stopped it if he’d wanted to. His dream of a life with Anna could still happen, but it would be different if they lost the baby. Neither of them would ever be the same. He would still want her if the worst happened, but would she still want him? She’d worried that he might not be around for the long haul, but the reality was that the same could be wondered about her. Without this child binding them together, and with every mistake he’d made, would she want to walk away? He couldn’t fathom how empty his life would be if that happened.
“We understand. Go ahead,” Anna said to Dr. Wright.
Jacob nodded reluctantly. “Yes. Please. Go ahead.”
The static and pops had a distinctly different tone to them this time—it was hope at odds with itself, a moment born of desperation while clinging to what you already have, not focused on what might be. He’d never piled so many wishes on a single moment before. Jacob looked right into Anna’s eyes. If they were going to receive the worst of news, they would experience the pain of that instant together. She would not be alone. Anna clung to his hand, squeezing tight. Static buzzed. The speaker popped. Frantic crackles echoed.
And then the whoosh. Whoosh whoosh whoosh.
Anna’s eyes sprang to life, quickly followed by her electric smile, jolting Jacob back to a state where he felt as if he could breathe again. Anna raised her head and looked down at her stomach. “The baby...”
“The heartbeat sounds perfect,” Dr. Wright said.
“Thank God.” The most profound relief Jacob had ever experienced threatened to knock him flat. He closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped from the solace of that perfect sound. He leaned down and cupped Anna’s cheek then pressed a kiss to her forehead. His lips wanted to stay there, keep contact with her warm and wonderful-smelling skin.
Dr. Wright turned off the Doppler and sat back down on her stool. Jacob helped Anna back up to sitting.
“I’d like you on bed rest for the next twenty-four hours. Take it easy. It’s very possible that this is just normal first trimester spotting and has nothing to do with any of your other issues.”
“Normal?” Jacob asked.
“Yes, Mr. Lin. Normal. Possibly.”
He’d never quite imagined his glee at hearing that anything was normal, possibly, but there it was. He was ecstatic.
“You aren’t out of the woods. There are never any guarantees. But I’d say that everything, for the moment, looks good. Go home. Relax. Together. Dad, no going into work. Stay with her and call me if anything goes wrong.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.”
Eighteen
Jacob and Anna arrived at Jacob’s apartment around one, after running to Anna’s place to get her a few things. He insisted they would be more comfortable at his place. She had to agree, and it was also much closer to the doctor’s office if they had to return. Although, as Dr. Wright had said, there wasn’t much they could do but wait for the bleeding to stop. At least they would be doing it together.
Anna changed into pajama pants and a tank top, unfortunately finding a similar amount of blood when she used the bathroom.
“Well?” Jacob asked, sounding hopeful when she walked into his bedroom.
“Still spotting. But it’s not any worse than before, so that’s good.” It felt as though she was shouldering the weight of the moment. Intellectually, she knew she had no control over the bleeding, but it was hard not to feel responsible. Perhaps that was the burden of being the messenger. It was okay. She’d take it.
“I don’t want you to worry about it.” He pulled back the comforter and patted the bed. “Your throne, m’lady.”
She grinned and shook her head. He could be so silly if he wanted to be, but she knew for a fact that he wasn’t like that with anyone else. He reserved his most unguarded moments for her. “Are those your PJs?”
“Of course. I’m not leaving you in this bed alone.” He’d put on a T-shirt and basketball shorts. How she loved those glorious, lanky legs of his. “I figure we’ll watch bad movies all afternoon. I haven’t played hooky from work in well, forever, I guess.”
“You know, I think I just want to talk for now. Maybe take a nap.” She climbed into bed and he did the same, on his side. This was indeed an odd setup, not really knowing the state of things between them. She knew how she felt—he’d obliterated her doubts about whether he’d fight for her. And he’d been right there with her at the doctor’s office, holding her hand. He’d even cried with her, at that moment when they were waiting to hear if the baby was still okay. She knew then that her love for him had never gone away. There had just been other things in the way and she could see now that she’d put a few of those things there herself, or at least allowed them to remain.