Jacob held his breath. Whoosh whoosh whoosh. He’d never been so overtaken by shock and wonder, both at the same time. The miracle of the moment began to sink in, but it wasn’t a weight. Not as he’d worried it might be. The baby was not an idea or an abstract—the life that he and Anna had created, against all odds, was real. A tiny human, with a heart and everything. Whoosh whoosh whoosh. He’d never been so affected by a sound. That sound and the life force that created it needed him. Anna needed him. And he would not let either of them down.
Anna looked up at him, her eyes wide with astonishment. “Our baby,” she muttered.
“It’s absolutely incredible,” he said, taking and gently squeezing her hand. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but he was acting on pure instinct. She didn’t protest, which felt like such a gift. “It’s so fast.”
“It’s a tiny heart, Mr. Lin. It doesn’t know any other speed.”
“And what does the baby look like right now? When can we see it?” It? That didn’t sound right at all. “I mean him.”
“Or her...” Anna added, smiling. It was the first truly light moment of the appointment or for that matter, since she’d told him she was pregnant. He was so grateful for it. Finally, some good news.
“Or her,” Jacob agreed. “When can we see him or her?” He was no longer surprised by the excitement in his voice. It was impossible not to get caught up in the moment.
“We’ll schedule an ultrasound for next week. I’d like to do some 3D imaging. For now, the baby looks like a peanut with a big forehead.”
“Hmmm,” Jacob said. Had his dad been this involved when his mother was pregnant with him? Had he gone to a single doctor’s appointment? Jacob doubted it greatly. It was too bad—he’d missed out on so much. Jacob wouldn’t have traded this experience for anything. It was only made better by the fact that he was with Anna. Now if he could only convince her to stop tabling romance and let him back into her heart.
The doctor put away the monitor and wiped off Anna’s stomach.
“Where can I buy one of those?” Jacob asked. Being able to listen to the baby’s heartbeat any time they wanted would be amazing. His mind drifted to thoughts of him and Anna in bed, listening to their baby’s whoosh. Certainly their baby had an exceptional whoosh, far better than other babies’ whooshes.
“There are inexpensive ones, but they don’t work very well. The quality ones are in the neighborhood of six or seven hundred dollars.”
“Oh yeah. We need one of those. Can your nurse order one for me?”
“That’s a big expense for something you’ll only use for another six months.”
“And you think I really care about that,” Jacob replied. “Because I don’t.”
Anna shook her head, grinning at him. “He doesn’t care about that. At all.”
Dr. Wright left after a reminder to watch for spotting, and a promise that they would all talk after the ultrasound. It was a scary, but exciting proposition, the thought of actually seeing the baby. He could only imagine how he would feel then. Everything that had just become so real would be even more so.
Walking down the hospital hall, riding on the elevator, through the lobby and back outside into the cold, gray December day, Jacob could hear that peculiar whooshing in his head. He and Anna and the baby were in the most precarious of situations, and he was determined to hold on to it with both hands. That wasn’t at all the way he’d expected he would feel after today, but the heartbeat had changed everything.
Fifteen
“Are you doing okay over there?” Jacob asked as the limo sped along Lexington Avenue to Anna’s apartment.
Anna wasn’t okay. She wanted to be okay, but her mind kept dwelling on the medical issues. She looked out the window, entranced by the city passing her by, the people bustling along the sidewalks, in a rush that never ended. Had any of them received life-or-death news today? Probably. She wasn’t so foolish to think she was the only person with problems.
“Anna.” Jacob placed his hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me. It’s okay if you’re upset after the appointment. It was a lot to take in. I understand.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to fixate on his touch, which called to her, even through her winter coat. Being with him brought back a lot of wonderful feelings, but something tempered it. Could she count on him? For real? She turned back to him, fighting the tears that welled at the corners of her eyes. “Do you, Jacob? Do you really get it? Because our baby is inside me and you said yourself that you’d never planned on becoming a dad.”