"That's a hard decision to make, even harder to do," Brodie protested.
"Do it anyway," Poppy suggested. "Be brave enough to be happy, Brodie. Don't let your fear win. You are stronger than that, more courageous than you think. Just do it, my darling. Reach out and grab the future you've always wanted."
"But what if I'm too late?" Brodie asked, unsure why she was asking this question because she wasn't going to go to Kade, wasn't going to ask for another chance. That was crazy talk...wasn't it?
Poppy's sweet smile held more than a trace of satisfaction. And triumph. "What if you're not?" She placed a wrinkled hand on Brodie's face. "Don't make me get tough with you, Brodie."
"This isn't you being tough?" Brodie demanded with a sarcastic laugh.
"Honey, I haven't even warmed up yet. I can go on for hours," Poppy stated prosaically. "You might as well just give in now and save us both the time and energy."
Brodie put her arms around Poppy's waist and rested her head on her great-aunt's shoulder. "Well, when you put it like that..."
* * *
Brodie used her shaking index finger to key in the code that would take her straight up to Kade's apartment. She hoped he hadn't changed the code. That would be mortifying. She entered the last number and waited for the elevator doors to slide open. When they did she had to force herself to step inside.
She could do this. She had to do this.
If she didn't speak to Kade tonight, she never would. She would talk herself out of being brave. She'd allow herself to backslide, to rationalize why she would be better off alone.
Talk the truth, even if your voice shakes.
Poppy's words stuck with Brodie and she repeated them to herself as the elevator took her higher, and closer, to the love of her life.
And he was that. Jay, dear Jay, had been marvelous, but her feelings for Kade were deeper, harder and stronger. Maybe that's why she'd been fighting this so hard. Loving Kade wouldn't be easy but he'd be worth it.
She had to tell him, had to see if he felt the same.
As the elevator stopped at the top floor she touched her stomach in that age-old protective gesture women had been using through the centuries.
Wish me luck, baby. Here's hoping we get to be a family.
Brodie stepped into the dark loft, the lights from downtown Vancouver dancing in the floor-to-ceiling windows. The apartment was ridiculously quiet and she bit her lip, feeling like an idiot. She hadn't considered the notion that Kade might not be here. He could be anywhere-with his friends, out of town, on a date. The only thing worse than Kade coming home with a date would be finding Kade upstairs in bed with another woman. With the doors closed, she wouldn't be able to hear a thing.
It had only been three weeks. He wouldn't have moved on so soon, would he? Then again, she'd kept pushing him away, telling him that what they had was only sex. Maybe he was upstairs, doing all those fabulous things he did to her...
Brodie threw her bag onto the couch and stormed toward the staircase. If she'd been bawling her eyes out while he slept his way through the pack of puck bunnies, Brodie might be forced to do something drastic.
What, she wasn't sure, but it would hurt. A lot.
Brodie flung open the door to his bedroom and hurtled over the threshold, stopping when she realized his enormous bed was neatly made and, crucially, empty. Brodie closed her eyes and hauled in a deep breath.
"You're acting like a crazy woman, Stewart," she muttered.
"Can't say that I disagree."
Brodie whirled around and saw Kade standing in the doorway to his en suite bathroom, a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. Man, he was gorgeous. How could she have walked away from that?
He was sexy and hot but he was also a good man. Someone who was loyal and kind and considerate and...hers.
"What are you doing here, Brodie?" Kade asked, his expression forbidding.
"Uh..." Okay, she was being silly but she just had to make sure. "Is there anyone in there with you?"
Kade turned his head to look back into the bathroom. "Busted. Come on out, honey," he called.
Brodie's heart ker-plunked. She placed a hand on her sternum and tried to find something to say.
"God, Brodie, don't be an idiot," Kade snapped. "There's no one here. I was just messing with you."
Brodie scowled. "Don't do that, okay?"
"I think I've got a right," Kade retorted. He pushed his hand through his wet hair. "I can't stand here, almost naked, with you in the room. Why don't you go downstairs and keep walking across the apartment until you hit the elevator. I doubt there's anything you have to say that I want to hear."
"No." Brodie lifted her chin.
"No?"
"No, I'm not going to do that."
Kade shrugged, sent her a sarcastic smile and walked to his closet. Dropping the towel to the floor, Brodie watched him go into the small room, bare-ass naked. Man, he was so messing with her.
"So why are you here? Missing the sex?" Kade asked as he reached for a pair of sweats.
"Yes," Brodie replied, thinking honesty was the best policy. "Of course I am. We are fabulous together and I love making love with you."
Kade pulled on the sweats and turned, gripping the top of the door frame with white fingers. "Is that what you're back for?" He took in her leggings and bohemian shirt. "Fine. But you're a bit overdressed. Strip."
"Stop being a jerk, Kade," Brodie snapped.
"Then again, if it's just sex you're back for, then I am not interested." Kade dropped his arms. He rubbed his hands over his face and when he looked at her again, those beautiful eyes were bleak. And his voice, when he spoke again, sounded desolate. "Just go, Brodie. Please."
She'd done this, Brodie thought, ashamed of herself. She'd hurt him. She'd wounded this powerful, smart man just because she'd been too scared to take a chance. To live. Well, that stopped now, right this minute. She needed to be better than that; her child-their child-and Kade deserved better. But how to tell him? What to say?
Brodie walked past the bed to the open balcony doors and thought about Vancouver Island. Remembering Poppy and their conversation, Brodie pushed her shoulders back and placed her hands behind her, anchoring herself to the door frame.
"When I was about eleven, I was a bridesmaid and I fell in love with the idea of love. I became slightly obsessed with weddings, with the idea of happily-ever-after. Jay was the boy from down the road and even then, I thought he might be the one."
Brodie risked looking at Kade, relieved to see he was interested in what she was saying. His expression was still remote and, to be honest, scarily forbidding, but he hadn't kicked her out. It was progress but she had a long way to go. "I made a scrapbook. What my dress would look like, the color scheme, my bridesmaids' dresses, the whole shebang."
"Is there a point to this?" Kade asked, impatient.
Brodie ignored him. "Strangely, I pretty much nailed what I wanted for a wedding at eleven. When I flipped open the scrapbook shortly before the accident, excited because Jay and I were moving on from being best friends to something more, there was little I wanted changed. But one aspect jumped out at me and it's been bugging me."
"Pray tell."
Still sarcastic, Brodie sighed. "Jay was dark-haired and blue-eyed, short and stocky," Brodie continued. "My eleven-year-old self didn't have him in mind when she was imagining her groom. Jay looked nothing like the tall, blond, sexy man in my scrapbook."
Kade didn't say anything but Brodie noticed his expression had turned from remote to speculative.
"Do you think my younger self knew something I didn't? Even then? Don't you think that's spooky?"
"I don't give a damn about your eleven-year-old self," Kade stated, his tone brisk. "I want to know what you want, right now."
Right, time to jump off this cliff. God, she hoped he was going to catch her. "You." Her voice cracked with emotion. "I just want you. Any way I can get you."
"Explain that," Kade demanded, his eyes locked on hers.
Brodie wished he would come to her, initiate contact. "This has nothing to do with the fact we have such incredible sexual chemistry, or that you're my baby's father. Or that you are hot, which, I have to say, is a bonus..." Brodie smiled but Kade didn't react. He didn't say a damn thing, just continued to stare at her with those hot, demanding eyes.
Oh, crap. He was going to make her say it. She hauled in a breath and gathered her courage. "I love you. I just want to be with you." Brodie bit her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry about what I said, did. I was trying to fall out of love with you. But I need you to know I believe you are nothing like your father, that I know you will be a spectacular dad."