Brodie nodded once, sharply, and forced the words past the tears in her throat. "I don't know what you want from me, Kade."
Kade walked around the chair and stood between her and the railing, the dim lights on the balcony casting shadows over his taut face. "I have no idea, either. I'm as confused about where to go, what to do as you are. But the one thing I do know for sure is that running away doesn't help. My father ran from town to town, from creditor to creditor, nothing ever changed. Because wherever you go, there you are."
Kade's fingers raked through his hair. "But maybe you could talk to me before you run. And I need you to come to grips with having me in your life. Because, even if we aren't going to be together, I am still going to be part of your life because-" he pointed to her midsection "-that is my kid, as well. We're in this together. So, on some level, I need you to trust me, to believe I won't let you down."
But he would. Everyone did.
Before she could respond, he continued, "But, Brodie, you only get this one chance. You run again and that's it. That's you telling me you don't want me in your life, in any capacity."
Brodie bit her bottom lip. "And the baby?"
"I will not abandon my child." Kade rubbed the back of his neck. "Lawyers, supervised visits until the baby is old enough and formal arrangements for custody. We'll be handing over the baby in parking lots. We'll be apart and separate, co-parenting but not communicating."
God, that sounded...awful. Dismal. Depressing.
"Don't do that to us, Brodie. Don't make it like that," Kade said, his voice soft. "I'm not asking for anything other than for you to let me in. To share something of yourself, to trust a little, or even a lot."
Kade's hand drifted over her hair and he bent down to kiss her temple. "I'm going to bed. Feel free to join me. Let me know if you decide to leave."
Brodie nodded.
"And Brodie?"
"Yes?"
"Don't ever ignore my calls again, okay?"
* * *
Brodie tied the laces on her running shoes, brimming with energy. Her morning sickness was all but gone and she felt energized and healthy and ready to resume exercising. She wasn't going to hurtle around Stanley Park like she normally did but she'd get her heart rate up and her blood flowing. Surely that had to be good for the baby?
Brodie left her apartment and skipped down the stairs, thinking she still missed her early-morning runs with Kade. So much had changed since they'd first met. She was carrying Kade's baby, they were having hot sex, sometimes at his apartment and, like last night, sometimes at hers. After their fight last week, she was doing her best to be more open, to communicate better.
She loved spending time with him and she couldn't help wondering whether he felt the same, if he missed her at all when she wasn't around? Oh, she knew he liked her, he adored making love with her, but was that the sum total of his feelings? Was he feeling more, wanting more?
Because, dammit, she was starting to want more.
Brodie nibbled the inside of her lip. She'd promised herself she wouldn't do this again, with any man, but she was sliding further and further down this slippery slope that might be love. With every smile, every conversation with Kade, she felt another one of her walls dissolving. Soon she'd be stripped bare and at the mercy of the vagaries of life and love. It would hurt.
And how would she ever know if Kade truly loved her and not the idea of her as the mother of his child? What if they became too swept up in playing the happy family and when the novelty wore off he decided this wasn't what he'd signed up for and bolted? How would she cope then?
No, teetering on the edge of love or not, she couldn't risk relying on him and being let down. People always thought they wanted one thing and then it turned out they wanted another. Sure, everyone had a right to change their minds, but she'd prefer it wasn't her heart Kade practiced on.
She'd rather be his friend and his part-time lover for as long as that lasted. When it ended, she'd still be his friend. And he'd be hers. She could do that...
Possibly.
Brodie pulled open the front door, ran down the pathway and bumped smack into a bunch of men standing on the curb. Cameras flashed and she lifted a hand to shield her eyes. What the hell?
"How long have you being seeing Kade?"
"When are you due?"
"Is it a boy or a girl?
"When did you and Kade hook up? Before you matched him?"
"Are you getting married?"
She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to realize the press knew Kade was the father of her baby and she wasn't going for a run this morning.
"You owe us a statement, Ms. Stewart."
"She owes you nothing, Johnson." Kade's deep voice broke through the shouting. Brodie looked up and there he was, holding out a hand. His car was idling behind the reporters and it represented safety and quiet, both of which she needed right now. Brodie grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her through the throng of reporters.
"Aw, come on, Kade. We need something."
"I can give you a swift kick if that would help." Kade opened the passenger door for Brodie and she slipped inside. Kade shut her door but she could still hear the questions, the demands. Then the crowd quieted and Brodie looked out the window to see that Kade, his back to her and blocking the cameras, had quieted the crowd. "You guys can take potshots at me, ask me anything, but Brodie is off-limits."
"How long have you been together?"
"Are you getting married? Are you living together?"
"Was her matchmaking you just a publicity stunt? Did you lead those women on?"
"Has Myra accepted your offer to buy the franchise? We hear that the rookie is going to sue you personally."
Kade didn't say another word but walked around the car to the driver's seat. He opened his door and dropped inside. He slammed the door shut but rolled down his window.
"You said we can ask you anything. Not fair, Webb!"
Kade grinned. "I said you can ask me anything, I never said I would answer." Kade started the car, floored the accelerator and drove off. Brodie turned around in her seat to look at the agitated crowd behind them.
"They do not look happy."
"Screw them." Kade veered the car around the corner.
Brodie grabbed her seat belt and pulled it over her chest, clicking it into place. She looked at the creeping speedometer and bit her lip, tasting fear in the back of her throat. "Slow down, please?"
Kade sent her a quick look, then immediately slowed down and placed his hand on her knee. "Sorry. You okay?"
"Fine," Brodie replied, looking at his annoyed profile. "So, how did they find out? Did Wren do a press release?"
"No." Kade shook his head. "We were trying to delay it as long as possible, to put some distance between you becoming pregnant and arranging those stupid dates for me."
"So how did they find out?"
"Someone recognized us when we went to see the ob-gyn."
Brodie twisted her lips. "Anyone in the waiting room could've leaked the story, could've taken a photograph of us."
"And they did. They sold the story to the tabloids and the paper that broke the news has had a photographer following us for at least two weeks. We're a double-page spread," Kade told her, driving in the direction of his apartment.
"Dammit." Brodie sighed. "Guess I am now, officially, one of Webb's Women."
"You are Webb's only woman." He glanced down at her stomach. "Unless there's a girl in there, then you'll have to share the spotlight."
He was using a jokey, upbeat tone and she didn't know whether he was being serious or not. He placed his free hand on her tummy but kept his eyes on the road. "Twenty-six weeks, Brodes, and we'll know."
Kade glided to a smooth stop in front of a traffic light and turned his head to look at her.
"God, the press will eat you up and spit you out."
"I am tougher than I look, Webb." The light turned green and Kade accelerated away.
"Just keep saying 'no comment.' Maybe you should move in with me-my place is a lot more secure than yours."
That wasn't going to happen. Brodie noticed Kade's eyes were dark with worry and his jaw was rock-hard with tension. She knew he cared for her, that he loved making love with her, but even after her trip to California and their fight, she hadn't been sure of how much until this moment. He was genuinely worried for her. Did that mean he loved her?