Pregnant by the Maverick Millionaire(21)

Brodie pushed away her plate, looking for an excuse not to talk. But she  couldn't keep doing that, not if they were going to co-parent. She  needed to learn to open up, just a little. "They were. I was the center  of their universe, the reason the sun came up for them every morning."  She rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "That makes me sound like I  was spoiled, but I wasn't, not really. They gave me more experiences  than things. They gave me attention and time, and, most importantly,  roots and wings. I felt...lost when they died. I still feel lost,"  Brodie admitted. "And so damn scared."

Kade took one more sip of soup before standing up. He picked up the  bowls and carried them to the sink, leaving them there. On his return  trip, he stopped at Brodie's chair and held out his hand. "Let's go  sit."

Brodie put her hand in his and followed him across the room to the  mammoth sofa. Kade sat down and pulled Brodie next to him, placing his  hand on her knee to keep her there. They looked at the city lights and  Brodie finally allowed her head to drop so her temple rested on Kade's  shoulder.

"What scares you, Brodie?"

Brodie heard his quiet question and sighed. "Love scares me. Feeling  attached and running the risk of losing the person I am attached to  scares me. Being a mommy scares the pants off me."

"Why?"

"I know how quickly life can change. One day I was bright, happy and  invincible. The next I'd lost everyone that mattered to me." She had to  continue; she couldn't stop now. "I not only lost my parents in a single  swoop, but my two best friends, too. I survived the accident with minor  physical injuries and major emotional ones."

He didn't mutter meaningless words of sympathy. He just put her onto his lap, his arms holding her against his broad chest.

Him holding her was all she needed.

"Tell me about your childhood," she asked, desperate to change the subject.

Kade stared out the window at the breathtaking views of False Creek and  the city. Brodie wondered if he ever got used to it. Kade, reading her  mind, gestured to the window. "I do my best thinking here, looking out  of this window. It's never the same, always different depending on the  time of day, the month, the season. It's a reminder that nothing stays  the same. As a kid my life was nothing but change."

Brodie half turned so she could watch his face as he talked. This was  the first time they'd dropped some of their barriers and it was  frightening. This was something she'd done with her friends, with Chels  and Jay. She was out of practice.                       
       
           



       

"After my mom died, my dad packed up our house, sold everything and hit  the road. He wanted to see the country. He wanted to paint. He couldn't  leave me behind and he wouldn't stay so I went along. I went to many,  many different schools. Some for months, some for only weeks. In some  places I didn't even get to school. My education was-" Kade hesitated  "-sporadic."

Brodie knew if she spoke she'd lose him so she just waited for him to continue talking.

"But while I hated school, I loved to play hockey and I could always  make friends on the ice. Especially since I was good and everyone wanted  me on their team. But invariably I'd find a team, make some friends,  start to feel settled and he'd yank me off to someplace new."

"I'm sorry."

"So in a way we're the same, Brodie."

Brodie frowned, unsure of where he was going with this. "How?"

"You're scared to become emotionally involved because you're scared to  lose again. I'm scared for the same reason." Kade dropped his hand to  pat her stomach. "We're going to have to find a way to deal with those  fears because this little guy-"

"It could be a girl."

Kade's smile was soft and sweet. "This baby is going to need us, what we can give her. Or him. Individually or together."

His words were low and convincing and Brodie finally accepted he wasn't  going to change his mind about the baby. He was determined to play his  part parenting their child. Okay then, that was something she would have  to get used to.

So, how did they deal with their attraction while they learned to navigate the parenting landscape?

"Problem?"

Brodie wiggled her butt against his long length and heard his tortured  hiss. "The fact that we are stupidly attracted to each other is a  problem."

"It is?"

"I am not falling into a relationship with you just because we are going to be co-parents, Kade."

A small frown pulled his strong eyebrows together. "Were we talking about a relationship?"

"I just... We just..." Dammit, he made her sound like a blithering idiot.

"Relax, Brodie." He touched her lips, her jaw. "I want you, just like I  wanted you forty-five minutes ago, last week, six weeks ago. Not because  of the baby but because you drain the blood from my brain. It's a  totally separate issue from us being parents. We can do it."

"I don't see how."

"That's because you could complicate a three-piece jigsaw puzzle," Kade teased. "So we slept together again..."

"Yeah, we weren't supposed to do that."

The corners of Kade's mouth tipped up in amusement. "On, the plus side, at least we know you won't fall pregnant."

"Ha-ha." Brodie stared at his broad chest. "I still think we should try  to be friends. Our lives are complicated enough already without dealing  with sex."

"Why can't we be friends who make love?"

"Because it never works. What if you meet someone you like, someone you  desire more than me? I still have to find you two more dates. What if  you fall head over heels in love with one of them?"

Kade's hand on her thigh tightened and then relaxed. "What if the sky  fell down in the morning?" he drawled. "Do you always borrow trouble  like this?"

Her sky had fallen down and trouble had landed on her door. She just  wanted to protect herself from it happening again. Was that so wrong?  Talking to him, opening up, was dangerous. If she wasn't careful she  could love him. She couldn't-wouldn't-allow herself to do that.

Brodie started to move away, to climb off his lap, to find some physical and emotional distance, but his arms held her close.

"No, don't go, Brodes. Just rest that brain of yours, take some time to regroup. Stop thinking."

It was such a huge temptation to rest a while in his embrace. Surrounded  by him she felt like nothing could hurt her, that the world and her  life weren't quite as scary as she imagined them to be.

"Just rest, sweetheart. We'll figure it out, I promise." Kade's deep  voice sounded almost tender. Brodie curled into him and placed her cheek  on his chest, her ear directly over his heart. If she closed her eyes  she would just drift off...

* * *

Brodie rolled over onto her stomach and looked across the coffee table.  It was a beautiful day and the sky was a bright, clear blue. Beyond  False Creek the Pacific Ocean looked grumpy and the wind teased the  water, creating white horses on its surface. If she ignored the morning  sickness, she felt better than she had for days, maybe weeks.                       
       
           



       

Last night, instead of thinking, planning, shoring up her defenses,  instead of arguing, she'd allowed Kade to pull her head back to his  chest and loop his arms around her. His hand, drawing lazy circles on  her back, had lulled her to sleep. She had a vague memory of him picking  her up and placing her on the large couch and wrapping his long body  around hers as she slept. He'd kept her restless dreams at bay and the  feeling of being protected, cared for, had allowed her to drop into a  deep, rejuvenating sleep.

Brodie sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She looked over her  shoulder and saw Kade standing at the center island, watching her.  Something deep, hot and indefinable sparked between them and Brodie bit  her bottom lip. Sexy, rumpled man, she thought. How was she supposed to  resist him?

"Come here, Brodie," Kade said, his voice as deep and dark as his gaze, the order in it unmistakable.

She knew what would follow if she stood up. She heard it in his voice,  saw it in the desire flashing in his eyes, in the way he gripped the  counter, tension rippling through his arms. He wanted her...

Brodie knew she shouldn't, knew this was a mistake but she stood up  anyway. On shaky legs, she crossed the space to the kitchen, walked  around the island and stopped a foot away from him. Seeing a half-empty  glass of orange juice, she picked it up and took a long sip. Excitement  and desire caused her hand to shake and orange juice ran down her chin.

Kade wiped the droplets off with his thumb. "I have to kiss you."