Pregame(22)

"You know what sucks the most?" She asked, and I titled my head up to  meet her gaze. She frowned seeing a few tears still fall down my cheeks  and wiped them away, "Wes isn't like that. Colin swears he's a good guy.  Yeah, he's been in a few fights but what guy hasn't? Especially  considering what Gabe did … " I didn't say anything, just put my head back  down on the pillow. I knew Wes wasn't like that but it didn't change  the fact that he was drunk and got into a fight. Twice.

"The first time you saw Wes fight, why did he hit Gabe?" She questioned  me. I didn't answer because I knew what she was getting at, "exactly,  because he was defending you."





She gave me a pointed look, "I wasn't there last night, but tell me  something. Was Wes fighting just to fight or was he defending his  brother?"





She already knew what I'd say, clearly having spoken to Colin about Wes a  few times like a true best friend, but I answered her anyways, "He was  trying to stop Gabe's friends from hurting Reese."





"That's what I figured. He's not a temperamental hot head, Brookelyn. I  don't like the situation but I do you think I push you to hang out with  him if I thought you might be in danger?" she asked.





"Thanks, Elle." I hugged her tightly, "Let's make eggs."





She laughed and followed me into the kitchen, grabbing a frying pan while I pulled out ingredients from the refrigerator.





"So are you going to answer his texts?" Elle asked me, lighting the stove and letting the butter melt in the pan.





I hadn't looked at my phone since I got home last night but I wasn't ready to deal with him just yet.





"Later. I know that Wes isn't a dangerous guy but that doesn't change  the situation. I still need to think some things through." I told her.  Elle nodded, accepting my reasoning and we worked together making the  scrambled eggs and toast, singing Taylor Swift's ‘22.'





"Can someone please introduce me to a normal male specimen?!" Savanna wailed as she stomped through the front door.





"Hey, look who came out of hiding!" I said, pulling out a third plate from the cabinet as Elle buttered the toast.





Savanna slouched into one of the kitchen stools, tossing her purse on the floor and slinking off her coat.





"Please tell me this means that you and eyeliner boy are over?" Elle asked her, handing her a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.





I filled three mugs with coffee and placed one in front of each of our plates as Elle found the milk and sugar.





"Hell yeah, we are!" Savanna exclaimed, pouring way too much sugar into  her coffee. "Let's just say that Cam was a big fan of popping pills-and  not the nutritional kind."





I giggled through egg filled mouth, but Elle leveled Savanna with a stern look.





"What's with you and all of these drug addict, emo guys? It's like  you're only attracted to the guys who look like they haven't showered in  weeks, and have snorted away most of their brain!" Elle scolded her.





"I know! I didn't know he did drugs, though. I thought he was one of  those guys you read about. You know, tough and troubled on the outside,  sweet and vulnerable on the inside … " Savanna explained.





"Sav, I saw him buying drugs outside of The Alamo and he practically  threatened my first born child if I said anything to you," I told her  and her eyes widened in shock. "Not that I could say anything anyways  since you were never around."





She gave me a sheepish look, "I know. I'm sorry you guys. How about a girls day?"





"Yes! Brookelyn over here needs one of those right now," Elle smirked,  and filled in Savanna on the situation outside of Dusty's last night.





Savanna didn't know about my past, although I assume that she has  suspected something for a while. I appreciated that she never asked  questions, understanding the delicacy of the situation. I trusted  Savanna, but I figured that the less people who knew about my past, the  easier it would be to leave it behind. I was starting to see how  impossible that was, however.                       
       
           



       





~~~~





Elle, Savanna and me spent the day watching TV and gossiping and it was a  much needed stress reliever. I was extremely glad that things had ended  between Savanna and Cam without incident. Elle and I made it our  mission to try to find her a normal, anti-drug believing boyfriend.

I didn't check my phone once since Elle had woken me up, and although I  was dreading it, I knew I had to respond to the messages I've yet to  even read. I had two from Jade and six from Wes. I opened Jade's first,  the first being from right after they left Dusty's, the second from this  morning.





Jade: Wes is worried u ddnt come back w. us but reese is flipping out. I assured wes ur ok, just tired

Jade: morning, you ok??



I sent out a quick reply letting her know I was fine and didn't check my phone today and then opened up the six texts from Wes.



Wes: U OK??

Wes: did u make it home safe?

Wes: please let me no ur safe!

Wes: did I do something? R u mad at me?

Wes: elle texted me that ur ok

Wes: text me back please …



I instantly felt bad for making Wes worry like that, especially when he  had to deal with his brother's issues, but I had needed time to think  without hearing from him or seeing him. Not knowing quite what to say  back to him, I sent out a quick generic response.

Me: sorry, I didn't check my phone all day. I'm ok.

Wes's reply came in only a minute after I had clicked send.

Wes: ok … r we ok?

I didn't know how to answer that. I didn't even know if there was a  ‘we.' Wes had shown that he had feelings for me but he hadn't done much  to show it. Wanting to end the conversation and get some sleep I typed  out one last response.



Me: we're fine.



I slid into bed and shut off the lights when my phone started to vibrate  on my nightstand beside the bed. Groaning, I rolled over and saw Wes's  name flash across the screen. I was tempted to ignore it but I was sure  he'd just keep calling or even show up at the apartment.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to sound sleepy.





"My mother always told me that when I girl says they're ‘fine' they're  usually lying," he stated, skipping formalities. "Did I do something?"





"Wes, no, everything's good," I lied, "I'm really tired. We'll talk later, okay?"





"Why didn't you come with us last night?" he asked.





"Wes, I just said I'm tired. Let's not do this right now, alright?" I faked a yawn although I truly was exhausted.





Wes sighed, "Okay. I'll let you go. Sweet dreams, Brookelyn."





"Bye, Wes." I hung up the phone and tried to find sleep but my thoughts  of Wes kept me up most of the night. I played over conversations in my  mind about what I'd say to him when I saw him, and whether or not I'd be  able to be with him without constantly worrying. With every thought, my  past became more and more of a burden.





FOURTEEN


When I finally found sleep it was four in the morning and I had to be up  for my English class at eight. I had to shower in cold water to prevent  myself from falling asleep so my day had already started off less than  favorably. Then I realized that I had to do laundry so I was stuck  wearing yoga pants and an old t-shirt that I usually wore to bed and  settled for piling my hair into a messy bun. I usually tried to look  presentable because I had always felt better about myself when I dressed  well, but today I had no choice. My eyes kept closing on me since I was  so sleep deprived that I had to redo my eyeliner three times before I  decided to forego any make up, just swiping some lip gloss on my lips  instead. I made my way out to the parking lot when I remembered I hadn't  brushed my teeth so I headed back inside to do that when I also  remembered I had to wait for Elle to give me a ride. Depending on Elle  to drive me usually wasn't a problem but today she was running late and I  was in desperate need of a large iced coffee with a double shot of  espresso.





"Elllleeee … " I whined, when I saw that she hadn't even gotten dressed yet.

"I'm probably going to skip my eight AM today since I'm running late and  didn't even do the assignment. Here, I'll get a ride from Colin when  I'm ready." Elle tossed me her car keys and blew me a kiss.

I grabbed my shoulder bag, which I had also forgotten during my first  attempt at leaving the house, and hurried over to Elle's car.





I knew I was cutting it close but I also knew that I needed coffee to  get anything out of class so I stopped through the Dunkin Donut's drive  threw on the way to campus, ordering a large iced coffee with two shots  of espresso.