After a few minutes of silence between us as we both sipped our drinks Jade finally spoke up. I finished typing out my response to Skyler who was checking up on me as usual and braced myself. I knew that whatever Jade was about to tell me was significant. She wasn't the type of person to make a big deal out of something small.
"Emmy and I are from the same town. We've known each other since I was five, and she was six. Our mothers were in a book club together and so whenever the club would meet, Emmy would come with her mom and she'd play with my sister, Jenna, and me. Jenna was a year older than me and so they were in the same grade. As we all got older Jenna and Emmy became more distant. Emmy became friends with the mean girls in our town who had always picked on the two of them until they decided Emmy could join their group."
Jade took a deep breath and I saw the sadness in her eyes and it broke my heart. I reached across the table and took hold of her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"You don't have continue, Jade. I can see it's hard for you to talk about."
"No," Jade shook her head and I could see her forcing back the unshed tears in her eyes. "I want to tell you. I want you to understand."
I nodded and gave her a minute to collect herself before she continued. When she spoke again, her voice was shaky.
"I was only a freshman at the time and I was unaware of what my sister was going through. They teased her, bullied her, and pushed her around. She never said a word, not even to me. She was beautiful and all of the boys would ask her out and I knew that the girls were jealous of her. I just didn't know how far that jealousy would take them. I found out later that the girls forced Emmy to tell them all of Jenna's secrets or they threatened her that they'd kick her out of their group. So, Emmy told them everything, and they told everyone else. Eventually, Emmy became worse than all three of the other girls combined. She would trip Jenna in the hallways and call her names. My sister was so strong. She had never let them know that they were hurting her, but at the same time, that strength made her a more desirable target.
The day I found out what Emmy and her friends had been doing to my sister I skipped the rest of my classes that day and ran home. I was so furious and scared for my sister that the six miles between my house and the high school didn't even faze me. I got home and found my mother baking Jenna and my favorite confetti cupcakes with pink frosting. I told her everything. I told her about the rumors and the secrets and how they tortured Jenna and were sometimes even physical with her. My mother got on the phone with the principal of the school a few minutes later and started demanding that school officials step in or she'd call the authorities. This all happened before anti-bullying laws were passed and so there was nothing that the school could do except suspend each girl for a few days. I didn't hear about anymore bullying when the girls returned to school and the next few weeks Jenna had begun smiling more and acting like her old self again."
Jade's voice was stronger now and instead of tears, her eyes were filled with hatred so strong that I'd only ever seen it before in my own eyes, when I thought of Jesse.
"One day, not long after, Jenna hadn't been feeling well and so my parents let her stay home from school. They both had to work but left soup and crackers and ginger ale … anything that she would need to feel better. I remember getting off of the bus at the corner of my street and making my way to my house, all the while I was excited, hoping that Jenna was feeling better so we could bake those damn confetti cupcakes.
When I got to the end of my driveway there were three police cars and two ambulance trucks. I remember worrying that Jenna was sicker than we realized and maybe had something more serious than the flu. But then I saw her being wheeled from the house on a stretcher. There was blood everywhere."
Jade's voice started to crack and I could tell she was suppressing a sob. I squeezed her hand again to let her know that I was here for her and she took another deep breath.
"There was so much blood. My mom was sobbing and my dad, who never cries, had tears running down his face as he made phone calls. They took Jenna to the hospital and I found out later that she had slit her wrists."
"Jade … " I whispered, my vision blurry with unshed tears for my friend and what she'd gone through. "I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've gone through."
She shook her head and wiped away at the tears that had escaped. "She isn't dead, Brookelyn."
"But you talked about her like … " I said, confused.
"My sister died that day but she still breathes. She sits in a mental institution and doesn't say a word to anyone twenty-four/seven. My sister is gone. She slit her wrists, but Emmy might as well have given her the knife."
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything at all. Instead, I brought my chair next to Jade's and held her as she cried for her sister. I understood what it was like to lose someone yet have them be still be there. Jade had lost her sister, just like I had lost myself.
~~~~
We decided that we should skip today's psychology lecture and go get pedicures instead. I had already done the next two assignments for the class so I wasn't nervous about missing one day, and I knew that after everything we had talked about, Jade was in need of some pampering.
Elle had finished her last class of the day around the time that we were making plans and so I invited her to tag along, and as I had figured, Jade and Elle got along great. By the time we had parted ways, Jade had agreed to meet up with us the following night at Dusty's. While Jade was oblivious, I knew that Elle had ulterior motives, despite her earlier declaration about Wes. Elle knew that Jade would bring Luke along and that meant that there was a decent chance that Wes would be there as well.
"Did we not talk about this already today?" I asked as we drove back to our apartment.
"I take it back! I was talking to Colin and it turns out that he and Wes are actually really good friends. They're both in Zeta Pi!" I chuckled at her excitement as she continued. "Plus, Colin said he's actually a really good guy. Yeah, a little rough around the edges but that's kind of sexy. Why not go for it?"
"End of conversation, Elle." She whined, as I got out of the car and headed towards our door. I wasn't surprised that Savanna was nowhere in sight. She hadn't been around much this past week and between studying and her sexual escapades with her new boy toy we rarely spoke except for a few text messages here and there.
"I'm gonna hop in the shower and then do some more work. Did you want to order in tonight?"
Elle popped her head into my room. "Yes! Can we get Chinese? Please say yes."
I grabbed a clean towel from my laundry basket, laughing at Elle's enthusiasm. She was like a toddler begging her mother for a popsicle.
"Yes, Ellezabeth, we can order Chinese tonight but only if you finish your homework and don't forget to brush your teeth before bed."
She stuck her tongue out at me. "You think you're so funny. We'll see who acts like a baby when I steal your fortune cookie."
She turned from me and skipped back to the living room where she was watching an old episode of One Tree Hill, so I yelled at her retreating frame, "you wouldn't dare! Those things predict our futures, you know!"
I heard her snicker as I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on hot, and finally let my tears fall down my face, crying for Jade, for the sister she lost, and for the girl that I used to be.
SEVEN
Dusty's was just as busy as usual, college students lining the walls and crowding the dance floor. Jade had texted me to let me know that she was running a little late so I grabbed Elle's hand and searched for an empty table, leading her with me over to the one that I found. Colin had come with a few of his fraternity brothers and so when he saw us he disbanded from his group and made his way over to the table, wrapping his arms around Elle.
"The bar is packed tonight, you can barely get the bartender's attention. I'll go grab what you girls want."
"I'm sticking with water tonight," Elle made a face, "I have a ton of work to do tomorrow! I can't be dealing with a hangover."