My mouth dropped in surprise. Sawyer didn't usually hit below the belt. "Fuck you, Sawyer. Fuck you." I stood and slammed my chair into the table and walked out the door. I heard Cate reprimanding him as I walked away.
It felt like Cate and Sawyer had ganged up on me and I wasn't willing to sit through lunch facing their accusing questions. I slipped into a cab to head for home when I got a text.
- How was lunch pretty lady?
- Have to say, I’m getting very used to your endearments :) Lunch wasn't great. Heading home now.
- To Beacon St? :) I rolled my eyes even though he wasn't there to see.
- No. To my apt. Work to do.
- What happened at lunch?
- I left early.
- Oh?
- I’ll tell you about it later.
- Okay. Can I see you later? We can talk about us. I heaved an exasperated sigh.
- I'm exhausted. I don't think I feel up to talking.
- We can do other things besides talking ;) I rolled my eyes again.
- I just rolled my eyes FYI. Seriously, don't feel up to it tonight.
My phone rang an instant later. Carter's beautiful, smiling face flashed across the screen. I'd snapped a picture of him while we were sitting in the hot tub the night before we'd gotten married. He looked young and carefree, the Carter I loved desperately.
"Why don't you want to see me?" Carter's angry voice came across the line. I groaned in exasperation. Apparently, I couldn't just take time—he was proving that already. I was going to hit the steel wall that was Carter Morgan whenever I wanted to do something he didn't like.
"I don't mean it like that. I'm just exhausted. I haven't slept since..." I paused, wondering what to call whatever was going on between us, "since this all happened. I just need the night off." I recognized the error in my words the minute they escaped my mouth.
"The night off? From me, Eva? That's ridiculous."
I chewed on the inside of my cheek thinking about how to dig myself out of this one until I realized there was no way, because it was the truth.
"Maybe it's not. We're hard work. I just need a minute to process."
"Eva… are you running?" The hurt in his voice was palpable. I wanted to reach out and touch him through the phone. I wanted to run my hand along his cheek, slide my fingertips across his forehead and move the hair that was undoubtedly tousled there. I wanted to comfort him, even though I’d spoken the truth.
"I'm not running, Carter. I promise. I really just have things to do tonight. And then I'm going to try to get to bed early. I promise I'm not running, I'll never run from you." I knew it probably didn't make sense; I'd told him yesterday that we needed to talk, and yet here I was telling him I didn't want to talk. It didn't quite make sense to me. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was too exhausted to even consider hashing out the entire future of our relationship tonight.
"I wish you were doing those things on Beacon Street, then going to bed early with me," he said quietly.
"I know, but just give me some time."
"Okay… I miss you though," his voice ached over the phone.
"I know. I miss you too." I wanted to run into his arms and squeeze him tightly to me, never letting go. He heaved a big sigh.
"My sister wants us to come over this weekend. She wants to meet you. My parents are having a barbeque before the weather gets cold."
"Okay…" I trailed off.
"Will you go?" He sounded worried.
"I would love to."
"I have to get back to work," he sighed.
"Okay."
"I love you," he whispered.
"I know."
"Move in with me," he demanded.
"Not yet." I smiled.
I heard him chuckle as I hung up the phone.
***
"I'm sorry, Eva."
I sat perched on my bed with my laptop an hour later when Cate got home from the lunch I'd stormed out of.
"It's okay, I know you're concerned. I just didn't appreciate being ambushed by you and Sawyer." I set my laptop on the bed next to me.
"I know. I didn't mean for it to be like that. Sawyer's really upset, I think he had some delusion that he still had a chance with you." She shrugged, "I'm worried about you." She frowned.
"I know, but I'm not just going to walk away from him, and I don't want to. I married him, Cate. That's important. We just have some things to work out. I want you to support me, though, and not tell Sawyer everything." I glared at her.
"I know. I'm sorry. And I do support you, one hundred percent. Do you forgive me?" She gave me a small smile.
"Of course. Promise no more telling Sawyer stuff?" I gave her a stern glare.
"Promise." She embraced me in a tight hug. "I brought food home for you." She pulled away and passed me a brown paper bag. I scrunched my nose as my stomach lurched.