"How long for the test?" I lifted my head and sniffed.
"Do you want me to check it? It should be done…" Cate trailed off.
I stared at the bathroom door with bright light cascading out. My future was waiting for me in that bathroom. One way or the other, it would determine what happened next. Maybe my future would be more of the same. A life with Carter, just the two of us, driving each other insane. Or maybe we could adopt. Would I want to adopt? I hadn’t given it much thought before.
But then again, if there was a little pink plus sign in the window, what would my future hold? Would Carter be in it? Am I the right kind of person to give my entire life to another little human being? My heart clenched at the thought. A vision floated in my head of a little toffee-haired boy with my bright green eyes. My heart ached for him. Was I wishing him into existence? Or mourning for what could never be?
"I’ll do it." I sat up on the bed and rubbed my sweaty palms against my jeans. "Will you come with me?" I held Cate's hand tightly in my own.
"Of course." Her eyes swam with emotion as she watched me. I stood on shaky legs and we walked to the bathroom. We crossed the threshold and I saw the little white test stick on the far end of the vanity, all by itself, the keeper of my fate.
I squeezed Cate's hand as I walked closer to it. My chest rose and fell in quick breaths as I bent to see the window on the stick. I was too afraid to touch it. Too afraid what it would tell me.
My vision blurred and my head swam.
A pink positive.
We were pregnant.
We'd made a baby.
My heart roared in my ears.
"Cate." Fresh tears sprang to my eyes as I snatched the stick up in my hand and thrust it in her face.
"Eva! Eww!" She shoved my hand away.
"Cate, we're going to have a baby." Tears flowed down my cheeks as a wild smile spread across my face.
"Congratulations, honey." She captured me in a tight hug. I sobbed into her shoulder and held her tight for support. I feared my legs would give out and I would land in a puddle on the tile floor.
I pulled away from her and looked at the test in my hand again. That beautiful pink plus sign. I didn't realize I’d wanted to see it so badly. I didn't realize I’d secretly been hoping to see it. I hadn't allowed myself to hope.
My other hand went down to my tummy and caressed it. There was a little person in there, a little person that was equal parts Carter and me. The idea made me deliriously happy. I sobbed joyous tears and my smile was so wide it hurt my cheeks.
"When is Carter going to be home?" Cate asked.
"I don't know, should I call him?"
"I don't think that's the kind of thing you tell a guy over the phone." Cate frowned.
"Right. God, I don't even know how he's going to react, Cate." Fear leapt into my stomach again.
"I have a feeling once he sees your reaction he'll be overjoyed." Cate wiped her own eyes. "Fuck, I can't believe I’m going to be an aunt," she giggled.
"No cussing in front of the baby!" I squealed and rubbed my stomach.
"Oh Jesus, don't even start." Cate rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to go? Maybe you should call him and tell him to come home early?"
"Yea, I guess I should do that. I'm afraid, Cate." I chewed on my bottom lip.
"I promise this is going to be okay, Eva. And your mom is going to get the grandbaby she always dreamed of!" A bright smile flashed across her face.
"Oh my God, my mom… she doesn't even know we're married yet."
"Relax. You guys do everything backwards anyway." She grinned.
I pushed her out of the bathroom.
I'd called Carter and asked if he could come home a little early today. I explained that there wasn't a problem, just a surprise. I only hoped he'd see it as a happy surprise.
After I got off the phone I changed into my favorite, curve-hugging wrap dress and settled on the couch, waiting to hear the door open. I fingered the label on a water bottle and dreamed of the future Carter and I would have with our beautiful little baby. I thought about the alcove off the master suite and how it would be perfect for the nursery. I could envision swinging a toddler between us as we walked across the street and watched him or her run through the park. I sighed as I thought about being nine months pregnant, wearing maternity clothes, going to doctor appointments, and seeing our little monkey on the ultrasound.
My heart swelled to double its size with love for the little person I hadn't even met yet.
And then I heard the door open and butterflies choked my throat and my brain seized up.
"Hey, babe." Carter left his briefcase on the side table and walked into the living room. He looked delicious in a pale grey suit with a white shirt and thin black tie. His hair was perfectly tousled and his soft lips were curved in a warm smile as he walked toward me. He hauled me off the couch and planted a kiss on my lips. "You look gorgeous." His hands roamed around my back and down to my bottom.