"You got married?" Cate was still shrieking.
"God, Cate. Quiet." I pressed my eyelids together tightly, trying to will myself out of this situation. I heard Cate huff from across the room.
"You and Carter got married?" Cate whispered. I nodded in confirmation.
"Shut the fuck up." She flopped on the bed with the ring still held firmly between her fingers. I opened my eyes slowly to catch her reaction. Her eyes were darting from me to the ring in her palm. I dropped on the bed beside her dejectedly.
"Well, this puts a whole new spin on things doesn’t it?" She flipped the ring between her fingers. "That man has impeccable taste in jewelry," she whispered thoughtfully.
"Cate," I groaned. She shrugged.
"So what are you going to do?" She handed the ring back to me.
"I don't know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. At the moment it all feels like a dream, I don't even know if it was real anymore. It was so beautiful in Aspen. We were so perfect, but Boston fucks with us." I worried the ring between my fingers.
"It's okay. I mean, you're a bitch for getting married without me… oh my God, did you have a dress? Don't tell me you went to the justice of the peace?" She shot me an appalled look. A giggle bubbled out of my throat. It felt so good to release some of the tension that had built up the past few days.
"No, no justice of the peace and yes, I did have a white dress. It was beautiful." My heart swelled at the memory. "There was even a photographer." My insides twisted at the pain that would undoubtedly come when we got the proofs back.
"Thank God. You're still a bitch for doing it without me."
"I know. I'm sorry, Cate." I peered up into her eyes sadly.
"I’m sorry, Eva. I’m the bitch for making this about me." She wrapped me in a hug again. "Are you going to call him?" She pulled away as I wiped more tears from my eyes.
"I don't know. I think he needs time. He just dropped me off here. He didn't even ask. I don't think he wants me." A sob escaped my throat and I crumpled into an incoherent ball against Cate. She rubbed my back gently.
"He wouldn't marry you and then suddenly not want you, Eva. You just have things to work through. You don't marry someone after knowing them for a month without having some things to work through." She stroked my wet hair. "Maybe you should just sleep on it tonight. Maybe you both need time to think. Call him tomorrow." She smiled and pushed me off the bed. "Can I make you anything?"
"No, my stomach is in knots. I don't think I can eat." I took a deep breath and grabbed pajama bottoms and a shirt and headed for the bathroom.
I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the broken girl staring back at me. Carter had called me Mrs. Morgan all week, and my stomach had done delicious flips every time. I loved him so much, but just because you love someone doesn’t mean they're good for you.
I arched my neck in the mirror and fingered the spot where Carter had left a bruise weeks ago. The spot was clean, the pink flesh unmarred. It was like it had never happened at all. Tears trickled down my cheeks at the thought.
I ran a brush through my hair and then pulled on my pajama pants and shirt before curling up on the bed and hugging my pillow tightly. Thoughts swirled as I saw the ring glinting in the light on the dresser. My heart hurt at the memory of him giving it to me.
It's us. You and me, always.
My body shuddered in pain at the memory of his words.
Will you wear it? For me?
A sob choked my throat and I covered my mouth with my hand and ran to the bathroom. I heaved over the sink but my stomach was empty. I had nothing left inside to lose. My body was literally sick at the thought that Carter had just dropped me off here without a word.
"I'm so sorry, Carter." I whispered into the empty room. Life without Carter was going to be hollow and painful. I made my way back into my bedroom and threw myself on the bed in the fetal position and fell into a restless sleep. I couldn't even escape him in my dreams.
Two
The following night I still hadn't heard from Carter but I felt better. I put it in perspective and thought we could actually get through this. I had the strength to fight for him. I still didn't know why Carter had dropped me off without a word—what was going though his head?
I had checked my phone repeatedly throughout the day for missed calls and texts but found none. I still couldn’t put on the ring; I wanted to wear it, I wanted it on my finger, I wanted to be his, but I didn't know if he wanted me anymore, and I knew even if he did we had so many issues to work through.
After dinner, I took the first step. I worried my lip between my teeth as I stared at my phone. My stomach clenched in anxiety as I pressed his name to dial.