Practical Demonkeeping(31)

“I wanted to get away, hide, forget what I had seen, but I had to go back and get my clothes. I ran back to my quarters. Since I was in my third year at seminary, I been given a small private room, so, thankfully, I didn’t have to go through the dormitory ward rooms where the newer students slept. The only clothes I had were the suit I had worn when I came and a pair of overalls I wore when I worked in the seminary fields. I tried to put on the suit, but the pants were just too tight, so I put the overalls on and wore the suit jacket over them to cover my shoulders. I wrapped the candlesticks in a blanket and headed for the gate.

“When I was just outside the gate, I heard a horrible scream from the rectory. There was no mistaking; it was Father Jasper.

“I ran the six miles into town without stopping. The sun was coming up as I reached the train station and a train was pulling away from the platform. I didn’t know where it was going, but I ran after it and managed to swing myself on board before I collapsed.

“I’d like to tell you I had some kind of plan, but I didn’t. My only thought was to get as far away from St. Anthony’s as I could. I don’t know why I took the candlesticks. I wasn’t interested in their value. I guess I didn’t want to leave any evidence of what I’d done. Or maybe it was the influence of the supernatural.

“Anyway, I caught my breath and went into the passenger car to find a seat. The train was nearly full, soldiers and a few civilians here and there. I staggered down the aisle and fell into the first empty seat I could find. It was next to a young woman who was reading a book.

“‘This seat is taken,’ she said.

“‘Please, just let me rest here for a minute,’ I begged. ‘I’ll get up when your companion returns.’

“She looked up from her book and I found myself staring into the biggest, bluest eyes I’d ever seen. I will never forget them. She was young, about my age, and wore her dark hair pinned up under a hat, which was the style in those days. She looked genuinely frightened of me. I guess I was wearing my own fright on my face.

“‘Are you all right? Shall I call the conductor?’ she asked.

“I thanked her but told her that I just needed to rest a moment. She was looking at the strange way I was dressed, trying to be polite, but obviously perplexed. I looked up and noticed that everyone in the car was staring at me. Could they know about what I’d done? I wondered. Then I realized why they were staring. There was a war on and I was obviously the right age for the Army, yet I was dressed in civilian clothes. ‘I’m a seminary student,’ I blurted out to them, causing a breeze of incredulous whispers. The girl blushed.

“‘I’m sorry,’ I said to her. ‘I’ll move on.’ I started to rise, but she put her hand on my shoulder to push me back into my seat and I winced when she touched my injured shoulder.

“‘No,’ she said, ‘I’m traveling alone. I’ve just been saving this seat to ward off the soldiers. You know how they can be sometimes, Father.’

“‘I’m not a priest yet,’ I said.

“‘I don’t know what to call you, then,’ she said.

“‘Call me Travis,’ I said.

“‘I’m Amanda,’ she said. She smiled, and for a moment I completely forgot why I was running. She was an attractive girl, but when she smiled, she was absolutely stunning. It was my turn to blush.

“‘I’m going to New York to stay with my fiancé’s family. He’s in Europe,’ she said.

“‘So this train is going east?’ I asked.

“She was surprised. ‘You don’t even know where the train is going?’ she asked.

“‘I’ve had a bad night,’ I said. Then I started to laugh — I don’t know why. It seemed so unreal. The idea of trying to explain it to her seemed silly.

“She looked away and started digging in her purse. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I didn’t mean to offend you.’

‘You didn’t offend me. I need to have my ticket ready for the conductor.’

“I’d completely forgotten about not having a ticket. I looked up and saw the conductor coming down the aisle. I jumped up and a wave of fatigue hit me. I almost fell into her lap.

“‘Is something wrong?’ she asked.

“‘Amanda,’ I said, ‘you have been very kind, but I should find another seat and let you travel in peace.’

“‘You don’t have a ticket, do you?’ she said.

“I shook my head. ‘I’ve been in seminary. I’d forgotten. We don’t have any need for money there and…’

“‘I have some traveling money,’ she said.

“‘I couldn’t ask you to do that,’ I said. Then I remembered the candlesticks. ‘Look, you can have these. They’re worth a lot of money. Hold them and I’ll send you the money for the ticket when I get home,’ I said.

“I unrolled the blanket and dropped the candlesticks in her lap.

“‘That’s not necessary,’ she said. “I’ll loan you the money.’

“‘No, I insist you take them,’ I said, trying to be gallant. I must have looked ridiculous standing there in my overalls and tattered suit jacket.

“‘If you insist,’ she said. ‘I understand. My fiancé is a proud man, too.’

“She gave me the money I needed and I bought a ticket all the way to Clarion, which was only about ten miles from my parent’s farm.

“The train broke down somewhere in Indiana and we were forced to wait in the station while they changed engines. It was midsummer and terribly hot. Without thinking, I took off my jacket and Amanda gasped when she saw my back. She insisted that I see a doctor, but I refused, knowing that I would only have to borrow more money from her to pay for it. We sat on a bench in the station while she cleaned my back with damp napkins from the dining car.

“In those days the sight of a woman bathing a half-naked man in a train station would have been scandalous, but most of the passengers were soldiers and were much more concerned with being AWOL or with their ultimate destination, Europe, so we were ignored for the most part.

“Amanda disappeared for a while and returned just before our train was ready to leave. ‘I’ve reserved a berth in the sleeping car for us,’ she said.

“I was shocked. I started to protest, but she stopped me. She said, ‘You are going to sleep and I am going to watch over you. You are a priest and I’m engaged, so there is nothing wrong with it. Besides, you are in no shape to spend the night sitting up in a train.’

“I think it was then that I realized that I was in love with her. Not that it mattered. It was just that after living so long with Father Jasper’s abuse I wasn’t prepared for the kindness she was showing me. It never occurred to me that I might be putting her in danger.

“As we pulled away from the station, I looked out on the platform, and for the first time I saw Catch in his smaller form. Why it happened then and not before I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t have any strength left, but when I saw him there on the platform, flashing a big razor-toothed grin, I fainted.

“When I came to, I felt like my back was on fire. I was lying in the sleeping berth and Amanda was bathing my back with alcohol.

“‘I told them you’d been wounded in France,’ she said. “The porter helped me get you in here. I think it’s about time you told me who did this to you.’

“I told her what Father Jasper had done, leaving out the parts about the demon. I was in tears when I finished, and she was holding me, rocking me back and forth.

“I’m not sure how it happened — the passion of the moment and all that, I guess — but the next thing I knew, we were kissing, and I was undressing her. Just as we were about to make love she stopped me.

“‘I have to take this off,’ she said. She was wearing a wooden bracelet with the initials E + A burnt into it. ‘We don’t have to do this,’ I said.

“Have you, Mr. Brine, ever said something that you know you will always regret? I have. It was: ‘We don’t have to do this.’

“She said: ‘Oh, then let’s not.’

“She fell asleep holding me while I lay awake, thinking about sex and damnation, which really wasn’t any different from what I’d thought about each night in the seminary — a little more immediate, I guess.

“I was just dozing off when I heard a commotion coming from the opposite end of our sleeping car. I peeked through the curtains of the berth to see what was happening. Catch was coming down the aisle, looking into berths as he went. I didn’t know at the time that Catch was invisible to other people, and I couldn’t understand why they weren’t screaming at the sight of him. People were shouting and looking out of their berths, but all they were seeing was empty air.

“I grabbed my overalls and jumped into the aisle, leaving my jacket and the candlesticks in the berth with Amanda. I didn’t even thank her. I ran down the aisle toward the back of the car, away from Catch. As I ran, I could hear him yelling, ‘Why are you running? Don’t you know the rules?’