Reed’s head came up at that. “If Janus lied to us once, he’ll lie to us again.” He turned back to me, wary. “And he’s lied twice in the last couple days.”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “I know.”
Reed watched me for a moment, and I could tell he was trying to figure out how to say something. “Was he right about you?” I didn’t answer, didn’t react. “Are you keeping something from us?”
Remember.
I drew a long, deep breath. “If I was … I promise it’s for your own good. For the good of us all.”
He nodded sharply and turned on his heel. He paused as he opened the door, and he looked back at me. “You can get away with that because I trust you.”
I bit my lip. “I’m letting Janus get away with it because … for some reason I still trust him.” I inclined my head slightly. “A little bit longer anyway.”
Reed nodded once. “Just as long as you don’t expect me to do the same. We can’t all go blindly charging over the same cliff, after all.” He gave me a knowing look and left, closing the office door behind him.
Chapter 26
I was in my office by myself for all of thirty seconds after Reed left before another knock came at the door. I let out a breath of exasperation and said, “Come in.”
Scott opened the door all the way and stood framed in the light of the bullpen. “So …” he said.
“So,” I said, not really sure what to say to that. “What?”
“That was really … something.” He closed the door behind him. “You all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said, placing my hands on my hips. It felt awkward. “We all have our secrets, I guess.”
“Not me,” he said, taking a step closer to me with what appeared to be reluctance. “I’m an open book.”
“Yeah, well,” I raised an eyebrow at him, “I’d love to read all about it when this is over with.”
He cocked his head at me and gave me a playful smile. “Was that … did you just …?”
I felt a weary smile crack my face. “Yeah, I think I did just say that. I meant it, too. If we get through this, yes, I want to … explore things further.” I held up my hands. “Obviously, I’m somewhat limited in my ability to have a relationship, but … I’m open to trying, at least.”
He smiled with genuine pleasure. “Cool.”
“Cool?” I looked at him with amusement. “I say I’m open to … dating or something and your response is ‘cool’?” God help me, I giggled.
“Yeah, I mean, we’re nineteen.” He laughed lightly. “Shit is crazy grim around here, but every once in a while I remember that we’re really not that old. I mean, can you believe this? We’d be a year out of high school if we were normal people, settling into the first job or finishing up freshman year of college. Instead, we get to save the world from some group of crazy super-powered villains who have a mad-on for you.”
That took the air out of the conversation, at least on my end. I lapsed into a long silence, wondering what my life would be like if I’d just been born a normal person like Scott suggested. I thought about a red dress I’d bought long, long ago, that had perished in an explosion on a night that had felt like the end of my world. I’d bought it with my first Directorate paycheck because I’d seen it, in all its short hem and sleeveless glory, and thought about what it would feel like to wear it.
It’d feel like I was normal.
“I can’t construct much out of ‘if only’s,’” I said, snapping the door closed on nostalgia. “We’re here and we’re stuck with the job that we have. That’s all there is.” I closed my mouth and felt my lips purse. “That and … maybe some possibilities once it’s all over.”
Scott looked only slightly chastened, but he paused before responding. “So … when the word gets out about us … what do you think is gonna happen?”
“I don’t know exactly,” I said, shaking my head. “Nothing good. My record gets opened to the public, I imagine it’s not going to turn out well for me. Foreman promised me a pardon before this all started, but who knows if he’ll be able to deliver once public pressure lands on him.” I shrugged.
“But you’re still digging in to fight anyway,” he said in a tone that sounded slightly awestruck.
“What else am I going to do?” I asked. “Run away? Try and save my own ass?”
“You took out Sovereign’s mechanism for hunting metas,” Scott said. “Yeah, you could run.”