Smiling, I get up from my chair and walk out towards the hall where I find James desperately handing Evelyn the drawing. She looks down at him and smiles, but I can tell it’s a strained smile.
“Wow, James. That looks so nice. Is that the three of us together out in the garden?” James nods. “It’s so pretty. I love it.”
James beams and once Evelyn kisses him on the head, he goes running back into the room to carry on drawing.
“Is everything okay?” I walk up to her and place my hand on her arm. She looks pissed.
“No, everything’s not okay. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again. How did that happen?” She throws her arms in the air.
“Baby, that’s great news!”
“No, it’s not great news!” she snaps. “I’ve only just settled in to my job, and James is still so small. I was hoping to wait at least another two or three years before having another baby. This just puts everything out of sync.”
“Come here,” I pull her into my arms and squeeze her tightly to me. “I told you the first time around that it didn’t have to affect any of your work, and I was right, wasn’t I? James is flourishing, you’re at work doing what you love, and life is wonderful. Just think of it as an added bundle of joy to enter into our lives.”
She sniffles into my chest, so I know she’s crying. “You think so?”
I gently stroke her hair. “I know so.”
I take her head and cup it in my hands. “This baby is only going to add to our family unit. I, for one, can’t be happier with the news. Nothing needs to change, Evelyn. As always, I’ve got you, and I am here.”
She smiles, giving me what I’m after. “You must have super sperm,” she jokes, making me laugh.
“Well, what do you expect?”
She hits me. “Typical male ego.” She starts to walk towards the reception room, but turns to me. “Once this baby’s born, I’m getting sterilised.”
She disappears, and I’m left with the biggest smirk on my face. She won’t get sterilised because I will never let her. I wanted her to have another baby soon after James was born, but she refused. I knew taking her pills away wouldn’t work, so I did the next best thing. I replaced them with placebos.
See, I own her heart, body, and soul, and I think she secretly knows it. I just like to give her the illusion of choice. I’m quite proud of myself really for all of my achievements.
Maybe I am a fucking monster after all.
A Surrogate Love Affair
I never believed in fate. Destiny was something magical, something written in the stars. I was a world away from having that kind of excitement in my life.
I was alone, praying for a baby, that little miracle I could hold in my arms. My husband fought me at every turn, but I knew I would break him down one day. It was just a matter of time.
In the end, fate took the shape of my best friend and her husband, who were desperate for a baby. Desperate for that miracle, that hope, that joy in their lives. I wanted to give that to them. I wanted them to have the family they were striving for.
With my help, they would finally have everything they ever wanted.
On the day I found out their little miracle was coming, fate intervened again. It would turn my world upside down, shattering my life into a million pieces. It was on that day I realised things were about to become really complicated.
“I can be your surrogate.”
Those were the five words I uttered tonight. Five little words that stunned everyone into an awkward silence. My husband, Kyle, looked at me like I had grown an extra head. Sarah, my best friend, stared in disbelief, and her husband, Ethan, looked about ready to burst. What he wanted to say, I couldn’t tell. Everything after that seemed to be a blur.
“What were you thinking tonight, Alice? I know you want a baby, but this is going too far.”
As I sit at my mirror, Kyle angrily hovering over me, I slowly take off my earrings. We had just returned from a dinner party with our friends. An innocent dinner party that suddenly ended when those five words left my lips.
Blowing out a breath, I look at him. “This isn’t about me wanting a baby, Kyle. This is about me giving my best friend a special gift. You haven’t been there when she’s cried to me about not being the woman she feels she needs to be for Ethan. I’ve had to sit there and comfort her, telling her she is all woman and more. I’m the one who has had to listen to the heartache in her voice when yet another IVF treatment doesn’t work. I want to do this for her. I want to do this for both of them.”
Kyle paces the room. I watch as the man I married fights the urge to scream and shout. I know he’s angry, but I also know he’s trying his hardest to keep it together. He spins toward me.