He shakes his head, offering a false smile. “You know how I reasoned with myself? I told myself that I was keeping you safe. I told myself that I was your salvation. I convinced myself that in return for my protection, I was entitled to have you all to myself. But then, what happened with Isaac happened, and I took in what you’d said about the girl I helped.” I frown and he notices, but carries on. “Her name is Bettina. She was the first on my path to finding some sort of redemption for all of the shit I’ve done. She’s a success story. She has a life and is doing well for herself.” He finally looks at me and smiles. “And I want that for you, too.”
I can’t keep my eyes away from Drake. It’s starting to dawn on me what he’s saying, but I need to hear those words. I need to know if what I’m thinking is right. “You mean all this—” I wave my hands at the apartment.
“Is the start of your new life.”
I look back at him confused. “But I thought you—”
“Were never letting you go?” He shakes his head on a smile again. “Believe me, this is the fucking hardest and most selfless thing I have ever done. A part of me wants to pick you up, drag you back to the house, and force you to stay.”
“So, why aren’t you then?”
He sighs, looking defeated. “You must have heard the axiom that if you truly love someone, then you’ll let them go?” I nod my head, noticing a tear falling down my cheek. “This is me letting you go.” He croaks the last word, and it almost makes me fall to my knees. I have hardly any time to take in everything he’s just said when he starts to talk logistics to me.
“You don’t ever have to worry about Isaac and his men again. I sorted that problem out once and for all. Having said that, because of who you are, I’m not going to take anything for granted. These apartments are the most security tight apartments in the whole of England. Not one burglary … not even an attempted one. The only way into this apartment is through a security guard and a key to both the lift and this door. Cameras are everywhere—even outside on your balcony—so if someone tries to get in, either I or security will know about it.” He walks over to the kitchen counter and picks up the two envelopes. “This envelope contains a college placement for this coming September. I’ve enrolled you in psychology courses, but you can change that if you want to. The other envelope I request you open once I’m gone.” I watch in shock as he walks over to the table and picks up my old handbag. “Here’s your stuff. You have access to your bank account now, and your phone is inside. You also have clothes in the wardrobe and all the toiletries you like in the bathroom. If there is anything else you need, don’t you dare hesitate to contact me. I’m still going to be a big part of your life—there’s no denying that now. But I’m trying to be a better man, Evelyn. I figured this would be a start.”
With my mouth agape, I watch as he walks up to me and places a tender kiss to my forehead. He lingers there, allowing me to take in his musky scent. I close my eyes and allow myself a moment to surrender to him. I know I’m in shock as I can’t think of what to say or do. I know I should say something, but no words form or leave my mouth.
“I love you, Evelyn. I know you don’t think that’s true, but it is. I just didn’t show you in the right way, and because of that, I ended up pushing you away. Because of that, I endangered you in the worst way possible. I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done.” He kisses me again, and I feel his warm breath against my temple. “All that I ask is that you take care of yourself for me and allow me to be a part of your lives. I want to be there every step of the way.”
I frown, not understanding what he means, but soon, he kisses me one more time before moving quickly to the door. He’s out of here so fast that I have no time to react. Instead, I just stand there—for how long, I don’t know—and wonder to myself what in the hell just happened.
Once my mouth starts drying from keeping it open so long, I finally snap myself out of it. I walk over to the envelopes and pull out the contents with the college details. I should smile. This is all I’ve ever wanted. So why is it that I feel empty and dead inside? Why is it that I feel more alone than ever?
Placing that envelope down, I pick up the other one and slowly tear it open. Once I pull out the contents, my knees buckle, and I fall to the floor.
Present Day
“You should really try these tacos. They’re awesome.”
My stomach rolls as I watch Mandy eat a taco. For some reason, my stomach has been off lately. I try to eat, but then nausea hits me like a bitch.