Present Day
Mandy stays for a couple more hours, and by the time she leaves, I’m exhausted. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but I feel constantly tired all the time. I keep putting it down to the after effects of the drugs and all the shit I was put through in the small time that was spent at Isaac’s.
With a shiver down my spine, I go up to Drake’s bedroom and fall asleep. I’m not sure how long I’m sleeping before I feel a set of arms around me. His smell hits my nostrils, and for now, it makes me smile. My monster, my saviour … my only salvation is here, and in this moment, it is all I could ask for. I want to be held. I want to be loved. And after all the shit that life has dealt me, I don’t feel it’s a lot to ask.
My back is pressed against his warm frame. He’s dressed—unlike me—but he doesn’t make a move to touch me. Instead, he snuggles his arms through mine and holds my hand in a tight embrace. The fact that he’s not pushing this makes me want to push him. Knowing he’s here makes my body instantly react. His touch, his presence, and his smell all warm my insides like nothing before.
So, I turn. I turn to face my handsome monster, and I find that I’m not staring at a monster at all. I’m staring at a man. A man who looks both broken and lost at the same time. He is still my Drake, but it looks like the light has died in his eyes, and that thought near enough breaks me.
And then, he says something that becomes the catalyst to my undoing. Just four words, and that dam I had built because of him comes crumbling down in a catastrophic collapse.
“I’m so sorry, Evelyn.”
Gut-wrenching sobs wrack my body. Drake holds me throughout, not saying a word, but saying everything. I know through his words and actions that what he said is true. It’s written all over his face. I believe he’s truly sorry for everything, but what now?
And that’s the part that scares me to death. I have no idea how we move on. I have no idea even how to start. But what I do know for now is that I need his comfort. I need to feel our connection between us no matter how fucked up that connection is.
So, once I calm my tears, I stare up to Drake’s emotion-filled eyes, and I know right there in that moment that it’s the right thing to do. Later on, tomorrow, and the day after is a different story. For now, I feel I need this. For now, I want this.
Leaning my head toward him, I capture him with my lips. At first, he doesn’t do anything, so I lean in again, but this time so he knows exactly what my intentions are. I prop myself up and try to get on top of him, but he halts me. “Evelyn, don’t you think that you should—”
“Don’t you want me?” My heart beats a million miles an hour at the thought that he doesn’t want me like that anymore.
“Of course I do. It’s just that you’ve been through a lot and—”
“And I need this. I need you. Drake, please.”
On my whispered beg, Drake captures my mouth with his and rolls over until he’s on top of me. Our kisses aren’t like the ones we shared before. These kisses are raw, passionate, and so tender that it makes my insides burn. “Drake, please,” I beg, flexing my hips up to meet his erection. I’m undressed, but Drake isn’t, and I need his clothes off of him quickly.
On a breathless moan, Drake pulls up a little, unbuttons his shirt, and pulls it off his head. As he’s unbuttoning his trousers, I take my time feasting on the man in front of me. His body has never failed to spark a reaction in me. He’s so toned, so flawless … so perfect. As he pushes his trousers down, I trail a line in the middle of his V, making him hiss.
“Evelyn, you drive me crazy,” he whispers. His trousers are soon off and then he’s back to snuggling in between my legs, kissing from my neck to my shoulder before taking a nipple into his mouth.
Cupping his head, I thread my fingers through his hair on a moan. “Drake, please. I need you.”
Drake listens to my pleas, positioning himself at my entrance. I’m so wet that he slides in with ease as we both moan out in pleasure together. As he starts to move inside of me, he lays gentle kisses all over my face before tenderly kissing me. This is a new side I’ve seen of Drake, and it’s like I’m sleeping with him for the very first time.
“I love you,” he whispers, flexing his hips deep inside of me. “I love you so much.”
I cry out, loving this feeling inside of me. The connection between us is so strong that I almost say those words back. I do love Drake in my own way, but I can’t say those words until I know I can give myself freely to him. I know Drake wants to hear them back, but this is one act of free will he can’t force from me. This, at least, is something for me and only me to decide.