Feeling a breeze against my skin, I close my eyes and savour the moment. It’s August now, and the heat is sticky, so this breeze is a welcome one. As I open them back up again, the realisation that I have no clue what happens next hits me like a freight train. I have no clue as to whether there’s a threat anymore. If there isn’t, does this mean Drake will let loose on the reins a bit? Does this mean he’ll even want me still? He knows what happened to me while I was with Isaac, and a part of me worries that he won’t find me desirable after what happened. I shouldn’t care, but I do. That man over the years has become both my enemy and my saviour. My fissure and my bond. My sickness and my cure. My destruction and my salvation. I have even come to terms with the fact that Drake will probably insist on forcing us. So be it. I have nothing and no one else left. At least here, I know I’m safe. At one time, I wanted so badly to run away from this place. But now I feel like it’s the only safe place I have left. How fucked up is that after everything he’s put me through?
Wiping my eyes, I pat Ireland one more time before saying, “Come on, girl.” She immediately complies, and we head back to the stables. As I near, I notice Mandy standing by the stable door waiting for me. When I see her, I practically fall off Ireland to get to her.
Mandy laughs and opens her arms to grab me. We embrace, and that’s when the floodgates really open. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry since all that has happened. Sure, I’ve shed a few tears, but now I’m balling, and I can’t stop.
“Hey, hey,” she says, stroking my hair. “Please don’t cry.”
Sniffling and wiping my eyes, I pull away to look at her. “How are you here?”
Pushing my hair away from my face, she smiles. “Drake called me this morning and asked me to come over.”
My eyes widen and my stomach flips. “You spoke to Drake?” She nods. “How did he sound?” I don’t know why I care, but I do.
She sighs. “Broken. It was a shock to hear him actually. Normally, he sounds so self-assured, so confident.” She searches my eyes as if trying to find something. “What happened?”
“Did Drake not tell you?”
“No. He just said that he thinks you’ll need me and to make sure I give you a hug when you do.”
I start laughing. “He actually said that?”
She nods her head. “So, what’s been happening?”
“A lot,” I sigh. “Too much to say standing here. Tell you what… How about we get Ireland settled, and then you and I can go grab some lunch?”
She smiles. “Sounds good to me.”
Mandy helps me with Ireland before we head back to the house for lunch. I asked George if I could rustle up something for us, but he insisted on doing it himself. “That’s what I’m here for,” he protested. He gave me a look as if to say don’t argue with me, so I shrugged my shoulders and headed outside with Mandy.
We sit at the table by the pool under a nice bit of shade and relish the welcome breeze that’s blowing in from the west. Soon after being seated, one of the men comes out with a jug of fresh lemonade and pours us a glass each. Mandy seems beside herself. “This is the fucking life,” she sighs contentedly behind her mirrored shades.
We both take a sip of our cold drinks, and it’s a welcome feeling in the heat. Once Mandy places her glass down, she leans forward. “Are you going to spill the beans now?”
So I do. I tell her the part about trying to flee and the subsequent kidnapping afterwards. I leave out the gory details, but Mandy gets the gist of what happened to me. Once I reveal the story to her, Mandy sits back stunned into silence. At first, she just stares ahead open-mouthed. But then, she looks back at me.
“I feel like the worst friend on earth. There you were trying to tell me, and I just kept pushing you.”
I shake my head at her. There was one time I used to blame Mandy for pushing Drake and me, but how can I when I never told her all the facts. “I never let you in on the full details, so don’t worry about it.”
“What will you do now?”
“I don’t think there’s much I can do. I’m stuck, aren’t I? I never thought I’d say this, but Drake’s won. If he wants to fight, then I’ll give in. After everything that’s happened, I’m just too tired.”
Mandy runs a hand through her red hair and bites her lip. She looks like she’s trying to think of what to say. “Okay, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. I think I’ve done enough of that already. But what I will say… No, what I’ll ask is: If faced with the choice to stay or leave, which one would you choose?”