“And what if I don’t let you keep them?” I asked, knowing that such a ploy wouldn’t work but desperate to try anything. I’d never take her things from her, and even if I did, she’d find a way to care for herself. Still, I wasn’t beyond suggesting otherwise, especially if doing so gave me a chance, no matter how small, to make her stay.
She smiled tightly. “I’ll figure something out.”
I looked at her again with a sudden realization. She meant it. She was going. I’d thought of this day before over the years, knew that I would be broken without her, but it had been abstract then, a horror that I wouldn’t allow to come to pass.
But it was coming to pass now.
Senna was leaving me.
Her distant expression, her certain voice, the crushing reality that I couldn’t change her mind and didn’t have the capacity to make her stay made it impossible for me to remain in this room.
So I left without saying another word.
Twenty-Seven
Three Months Later
Senna
I turned the corner and walked down the street, my eye on the small house I was determined to make a home. My arms were laden with the purchases I’d made during my shopping trip, and I was completely exhausted, but my heart still sped when I looked at the house.
It wasn’t fancy or new, but I loved it all the same. I’d spent more than two weeks in a hotel after I’d left Maxim, kept an anxious eye on my funds, but I’d refused to settle on just any place. I’d seen over twenty houses, but none had felt quite right. When I had first approached this house, I had been unimpressed, and had almost passed on the chance to walk through it, tired after a long day of house hunting. I’d pushed on, though, and as I had roamed through the house, I had become more and more excited.
There was nothing about the place that should have drawn me in as it did, but it felt right, felt like the place I wanted to raise my child. I hadn’t regretted the choice for a single second. I hadn’t fully settled in, but I knew I was in the right place.
I narrowed my gaze on the porch, letting myself smile but then quickly suppressing the expression as I began to ascend the stairs. After a quick glance at my visitor, I set my packages on the porch and then reached for the key and unlocked and opened the door.
I moved to reach for the small box that sat on the porch, but Adrian stepped in front of me and snatched it up.
“I got it,” he said as he grabbed the box, a baby monitor that I had found on sale, and took it inside the house.
When he’d shown up on my doorstep two days ago, I hadn’t even blinked. I hadn’t seen him, or any of the others that I knew watched, but I’d always known they were there and figured it was a matter of time until Adrian made his appearance.
After Adrian put the box in the second bedroom that I was setting up as a nursery, he came to stand in front of me, not looking at me directly.
“I got the paperwork,” I said. “Maybe after the baby comes, I’ll go to school or get a job.”
He nodded. “The name’s clean. You won’t have any trouble with it.”
“Thank you, Adrian,” I said.
He nodded and then stood for a moment longer. More than anything, I wanted to ask the question that burned on the tip of my tongue, but I held back, not sure if I could accept the answer.
I hadn’t seen Maxim since the day I’d told him I was going to leave, but even still, I hadn’t believed he would let me go, not so easily. But he had, had made no attempt to stop me. Though I’d immediately noticed that some of his men followed me, I didn’t know if Maxim had sent them. It was just as likely that Sergei or Adrian had.
That question had plagued me, and I’d wondered if he was keeping his distance, looking out for me from afar, or maybe he had simply moved on, had begun to pretend as I had suggested.
Adrian cleared his throat, and I realized I had been standing there, stuck in my thoughts about Maxim. I desperately wanted to ask, but I wouldn’t put Adrian in that position. Besides, Adrian being here was a good thing. The loneliness got to me, especially at night, so I was happy to have someone to talk to, someone who knew me, understood me, even if it wasn’t the person I wanted most.
“Take care, Senna,” Adrian said, lifting his hand to barely touch my shoulder before he pulled it away and left.
I watched as he turned, walked down the block and then turned the corner, soon out of sight. The sadness that had relented for the few moments Adrian had been there came back full force, and I had to keep myself from running after him, telling him to take me back home, back to Maxim.
No, I couldn’t do that. I laid a hand on my stomach, felt the tiny flutter, and my resolve increased. My baby deserved more, I deserved more than Maxim could or was willing to give. We deserved to be more than possessions. We deserved his love, and I wouldn’t settle for anything else.