Five
Senna
I went directly to the kitchen, deciding I would try a new recipe, perhaps my attempt at an apology, though I didn’t fully believe I had anything to apologize for. Still, the urge to smooth the earlier conflict was there. I knew my efforts would be wasted on him.
But that wouldn’t stop me from trying.
I smiled as I moved through the kitchen, my mind went directly back to those early days…
* * *
Nine Years Ago
She glanced out the window, not exactly sure where they were.
France, she thought, but she couldn’t say with certainty. They had gone to California at first, then England, then New York, then back to England…
Eventually, she had stopped keeping track.
They’d been here for a while, though, and it seemed they would be for a while to come. He’d brought several bags of groceries, a sign that he expected this to be a longer stay.
Usually, he brought takeout, and while Senna never wanted to see another fast-food hamburger, one might have been preferable to his “groceries.”
A random assortment of canned goods, some ground pepper, and a single orange. Maxim had opened one of the cans and eaten whatever had been inside without bothering to heat it. Senna had eaten the orange and made the best of the canned goods, but after his second trip, she’d been desperate, so she’d spoken up.
“Umm…can I go to the store, buy the food?” she’d asked tentatively one day.
“Buy” wasn’t really the right word. Senna had no idea what country they were in, let alone the currency, and even if she had, there was the small matter of not having a cent to her name.
She’d watched him, trying to gauge his response, wondering if she had made a mistake speaking. Probably, but there had been no alternative. She’d lost weight, not necessarily a bad thing, but she was hungry all the time, and though her circumstances didn’t leave much room for pickiness, Maxim’s preferred diet of whatever was within arm’s reach wasn’t working for her.
To her relief, he’d nodded and from then on, she’d been in charge of meals. It was a small thing, meaningless in the grand scheme, but she was happy to have real food again. And she had wanted to give him something, repay him in whatever way she could.
Those first days had been numbing, the shock of what had happened too much for her mind to process, but soon, that shock had started to lessen and the reality of her situation hit her head-on.
She knew Maxim wasn’t a good guy. He knew the scum who had killed her parents, and her instincts, even though she’d been a sheltered only child, were sharp enough that she recognized him for the predator that he was.
But he’d never harmed her, hadn’t gone out of his way to be particularly friendly either, but she trusted him. She shouldn’t have, even if she put aside the circumstances of their meeting. His coldness, the calculating way he looked at her, the way he always seemed to be taking her measure should have been more than enough to stifle any warm feelings she had toward him. Still, in the face of all reason, she felt that little ember of connection, something almost like endearment.
“Do you have favorites?” she’d asked one day after dinner.
“No,” he said, looking at her.
“Nothing?” she asked, surprised by his answer.
“Where I come from, you get what you get, can’t be too picky,” he said.
“Where do you come from?” she asked, taking the opportunity to utter the question that had been on her mind, one of the many she hadn’t dared ask.
“Nowhere you want to know about,” he’d said.
“That’s not an answer,” she’d replied before she could stop herself.
“It’s my answer,” he’d replied, signaling the end of that conversation.
* * *
Senna
That was one of my favorite memories of him, and that day had marked the turning point for me, was a clear line that marked my life before and after. It was funny because Maxim still hadn’t told me where he was from, hadn’t told me very much at all.
Our relationship was undefined, probably strange to the outside world, but I didn’t care. That didn’t matter. I didn’t need to know where he was from, know his last name, didn’t need any of those things. Because I knew Maxim better than anyone on the planet, just as he knew me.
Six
Maxim
Sergei stayed for a while longer, and we discussed several other items of business, including Santo. But even after he left, I lingered in my office. It was well into the night, and I knew she would soon be sleeping, but still I waited longer, and then finally went to the living area.