My jaw dropped before I could catch it. "I would—what? No. Why should he die over who his parents are?"
It was the wrong thing to say. Of course it was. I knew it even as the words passed my lips, but goddamn, I couldn't tell them I'd shoot Jordan. They'd know I was lying and then probably force me to do it anyway as a punishment.
The woman gave me a disgusted look. "Sit in the fucking chair. We have a lot of work to do."
Swallowing heavily, I did as I was told. She was less than gentle as she strapped my arms and legs in, and dread pooled in my stomach. What was she going to show me that required such measures?
The screen flickered to life, and I braced myself.
I was about to find out exactly why this faction had become so radicalized. I could only hope that my mind was strong enough to remain impartial.
Chapter 6
The next three days continued in an identical manner. Every day Caine collected me from my room and escorted me to the "history class" where I was strapped to a chair for ten hours straight and forced to watch the most horrifying, gut-churning images.
It seemed like somehow the Society had gathered footage of all the most obscene, cruel, and inhumane acts ever committed by monarchies, dating way back prior to the Monarch War, even.
Watching the countless grizzly executions, torture sessions, public whippings, and electrocutions was bad enough, but it was the covert footage that left me weeping and sickened to the point of vomiting each day. The body camera recordings depicting children from poor areas rounded up and mass executed. The deliberate sterilization of both men and women in overcrowded cities. And the images of breeding farms where women were kept in medical comas while being impregnated and carrying children for the aristocratic elites.
After the fourth full session, I returned to my room trembling. My face was slick with tears and my sinuses hurt from sobbing and I could safely say that I understood. I understood why the radical faction of the Society hated monarchies so much. If all their members underwent the same "training" as I was being subjected to, it was no wonder they'd become so blind to reason.
But while I understood where they were coming from and how Uriel and his supporters—because that type of training held his mark all over it—had built such a loyal following, I hadn't bought into it.
It was only one side to the story. One very biased, heavily edited and influenced side, tailored to fit their own narrative. Yet every minute I was forced to watch those atrocities committed by the leaders of our world, the more I sensed myself breaking.
I wouldn't survive eight days of that. Uriel knew it too.
Hugging my arms around myself, I peered out my apartment window at the complex, just as I had done every night. I had to escape. I had to find Jordan and make sure he was even still alive... Rafe could handle himself, I had no doubt. But Jordy was the one they kept threatening me with. He was the one in immediate danger. I'd royally fucked up that first day when I’d screamed at them for leniency toward him. I'd shown my weakness, and they were using it against me.
I stood there for longer than I usually did, lost within my own mind as I planned my escape. Long enough that when my door clicked open, I was still standing there instead of "asleep" in bed like normal.
"You're awake," Uriel commented, striding across the room to stand at my back. Way, way too close at my back. "Can't quiet your mind, little one?"
The thread of satisfaction in his voice turned my stomach. He'd been letting himself into my room every night, but had been content to just sit beside my bed and watch me for an hour before sneaking out again. He always thought I was asleep, but I never was.
"Something like that," I murmured back, not looking at him.
He stroked a hand over my hair, and I tensed. Everything about him made me sick, thanks to the clarity of time, distance, and maturity. He'd preyed on me as a vulnerable child. Yet some dark, damaged part of me wanted to lean back into his touch. The scarred soul within me craved his affection and his approval.
My sensei must have sensed that wavering within me, and he pressed in closer. His whole body touched me, his breath hot on my neck. "I have big plans for us, Rose. I'm so glad you haven't made things more difficult than they needed to be."
My jaw clenched, but I didn't argue with him. It was pointless when it would only undo all the hard work I'd put into making him believe me to be compliant.
Uriel swept my messy ponytail aside and pressed his lips to my neck, causing disgust to crawl all over me like a thousand spiders. Still, I kept my gaze locked on the window. Or rather, on the compound. A few black-uniformed guys walked across the grass, and one turned to look up at me.
My heart stopped.
No, it wasn't possible. My mind was playing tricks on me from all the conditioning they'd been putting me through, I knew that. But fuck if my heart hadn't reacted too quickly, giving me a glimmer of hope. Because I could have sworn that Society soldier was the spitting image of Rafe.
My first instinct was to lurch forward, press my hands to the glass, and get as close as I could to see every line of that soldier's face. But I couldn't alert Uriel to the fact that I was interested in anything out there. I had to look again, though, and this time the soldier was gone.
I forced my heart to calm.
Uriel was close enough to have felt my pulse spike, but hopefully he assumed it was due to his close proximity. Raising his suspicions in any way was inadvisable.
"How much longer are you going to condition me?" I asked softly. I needed to kick-start the next part of his plan because I couldn't deal with another day of those videos. I knew he'd have a list of training he was working through; Uriel was nothing if not thorough.
"We'll discuss that tomorrow," he said softly. "Now you need to rest, unless you'd like me to join you?"
That was the point where I could fake it no longer. For a second, fury clenched my fists, and I was about to spin and strike him where he stood. But a knock at the door halted my swing just in time.
"Yes?" Uriel called out, sounding annoyed.
"Sir," a female voice called, "there've been sightings of mainstream resistance in our territories. I figured you would want to know."
Uriel cursed and shook his head. "Those weak bastards," he muttered. "Never leave well enough alone."
He started to march toward the door, turning back to me once. "Get some sleep, Rose. You're going to need to be at your best tomorrow."
Then he was gone, and I let out a slow, shaky breath. There was a battle coming between us, and I knew deep down I probably could not best him. But I would die before I let him touch me again.
That was my promise to Rafe and Jordan.
It was my promise to myself.
Chapter 7
It wasn't until many minutes after Uriel left that I fully registered what had called him away. At first I'd just been relieved that it was one more night I didn't have to deal with him, especially that fucked up comment about joining him in bed. But they'd mentioned mainstream resistance.
That was the side that Rafe and Jordan were part of.
Could that mean Rafe was actually out there?
But how would he have made it to that part of the resistance when he'd been kidnapped by Uriel's division?
I rushed forward and found myself at that damn window staring out across the compound. From the parts of the city I could see, there seemed to be a lot of activity out there. Everyone was tightening security and patrolling the perimeter. This new development would be keeping them busy, so I... I could go out there and see if I could find my princes.
If they were looking outward, maybe they'd not notice what was happening inside.
Turning from the view, I was in my wardrobe in a second, rifling through until I found exactly what I needed. Black long-sleeved shirt and pants, both with stretch and flexibility so I could climb. But also tight-fitted so they wouldn't catch on anything. There were gloves that I turned inside out because they were red on the outside, but the interior was black. Same with a knitted cap.
In truth, there had been very little in the way of dark clothing provided to me; Uriel had probably discouraged it so I wouldn't go out on stealth missions. But there was enough here that I could get most of myself covered. With some dark makeup across any still visible parts of my skin, I would blend in. Even better, I’d be basically unrecognizable.
When I was done, I silently opened my front door, letting it swing out before I stepped through. If anyone was waiting out there, guarding me, they would come and inspect my open door. I gave it a few minutes, standing just on the inside so I was out of sight. But no one checked, and I finally stepped out into a deserted hallway.
There were low lights, but I'd already memorized exactly where to step to stay in the shadows. It was almost too easy, and it had only taken a few days of playing my part to get them to loosen their watchful eye on me.
A few months here and I'd probably have Uriel's job. Apparently that was what I'd been born for anyway, and they must expect that sooner rather than later I'd embrace it.
Images flashed across my mind from the videos I'd been forced to endure. Images I knew would be burned into my brain for eternity. The violence hadn’t just come from royals though. The resistance had killed dozens of people in their blast, and a lot of those people were innocents. No one had clean hands in this world. Not to mention I knew—and loved—more than one royal. They weren't all painted with the same brush, and some of them were so far from evil.