Plight(46)

"Yeah, I will. Either that, or I'll shove you in a wheelbarrow and wheel you around."

Mum laughed. "I'd like to see that."





Two hours later, and that was exactly what Mum was seeing as Elliot pushed me from one point of the garden to another in a wheelbarrow.

"If you crash this thing, I will never speak to you again," I half barked half squealed.

"Have faith, oh head of chocolate curls, for I can steer this chariot like no other man before me."

"Shut up, you idiot and watch that bum-"

He hit a small log and the force bounced me a little higher than what was deemed comfortable, my arse landing in the wheelbarrow with a thud. "Owww"

"Sorry," he chuckled. "Driving hazard."

"I'll give you driving hazard."

"So, where to, m'lady? Where can I deliver thee safely?" 

"To where the greenhouse is going to be built, kind sir."

He slowed down, almost stopping. "Why there?"

"Because I'm gonna help you build it."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah, I am. I'll read out the instructions, you follow them. It will be easy."

He performed a wide turn and pointed us toward where Mum and Helen were constructing planter boxes. "I'm sure our mums could do with more help."

"Elliot Parker, turn us back around now. I'm not helping our mums."

"Why not? Look at them, they're flustered."

I took in Helen's confused stance, her fingers lightly scratching her head while assessing the tape measure. Mum wasn't any further at ease, angrily wrestling with the battery pack attached to the drill. My guilty conscience reared its ugly head -they really did look as if they needed help - but I quickly buried the unwelcome nuisance, knowing that if I helped them, they'd spend more time hassling me about wedding dates and venues and nothing would get done anyway.

"No. They'll sort themselves out. They always do."

"I don't think they will."

"ELLIOT!" I growled.

"Okay, if you say so." He steered the wheelbarrow to the right again, pointing us back on course. "This is a bad idea, Danielle."

"It's not. We'll nail it."

"I'd rather nail you."

I looked around for something to throw at him, but I was the only thing in the wheelbarrow that could be thrown. "Keep that up and the only thing you'll be nailing is your coffin."

"Technically, I can't nail my own coffin."

Grrrr.

Technically  …

I. Could. Nail. Him. In. The. Eyeball.





"It's back to fucking front, Danielle!"

"It's not  …  oh, wait, it is." I turned the instructions back up the right way. "This greenhouse is stupid. Shouldn't the panels be the same on both sides?"

He deadpanned. "No, they shouldn't. If they were, it wouldn't be a very good greenhouse."

"You're such a smartarse."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Technically, it was."

I picked up the bag of screws with the intent to launch them at his head, but, instead, I just clenched them tightly and screamed inside.

"I told you this was a bad idea."

"It wasn't. You not listening to me and jumping three or four steps ahead is the bad idea."

"There's no point in me waiting for you to instruct me when I know what comes next. That's not efficient time management."

"But that's the problem," I shouted. "You don't know what comes next. You're guessing and guessing wrong."

"I am not. You're reading the steps in the wrong order."

"Fuck you!"

"Danielle Uma Cunningham! Language."

I snapped my head around to find Mum and Helen, standing behind me, Mum's hands on her hips, Helen scowling at Elliot.

"What's going on here?" she asked.

"Yes, why are you two arguing? The whole neighbourhood can hear you." Helen added.

I glared at Elliot and the bastard glared back.

"Oh, don't worry, it's nothing," I said, faux-laughing it off. "My stubborn schnookums is trying to finish the job too soon."

Elliot matched my contrived chuckle. "Honey, you should know I never finish a job too soon."



       
         
       
        

"Elliot!" Helen gasped.

Mum giggled. "Oh my!"

Me? Well, I could've nailed his coffin shut for him. In fact, I knew just how to do it.

"Speaking of finishing jobs  …  Mum, didn't you need someone to fix Jackson's kennel?"

"Yes, it's leaking."

"I thought so." I lifted my leg and placed my foot on the ground. "Elliot will do it, won't you, babe?"