"Technically, he's a flog." Landing with a thud beside me, Chris almost launched me off the beanbag and onto the floor. "So, you and pretty boy geek are fucking, yeah?"
"He's not a geek, and no, we're not."
"He is a geek, and you do want to fuck him."
"No, and no."
He pointed the remote control at the TV. "So what's the deal then?"
"There is no deal." I squirmed to get comfortable, and to piss him off.
"You're such a fidget arse."
"And you're such a huge arse. Get off! I was here first."
"No. It's my beanbag."
We both growled and wriggled for a few seconds before settling, somewhat uncomfortably, which was when Dudley jumped onto my lap. I patted his ears and made kissy noises at him.
Chris scrunched his noise at us. "So, where'd geek boy come from?"
"His mother's womb," I deadpanned.
His head slowly rotated in my direction, exorcism style.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Ugh! Fine. I'll tell you. But first you have to make me a Milo with the frothy milk, like you did last time."
He looked at Dudley then to me and shook his head, smiling. "Deal." Chris jumped up, causing the beanbag to slump and Dudley and I to roll onto the floor. "You've never mentioned geek boy before."
"Actually, I have."
"When?"
"Well … " I scrambled to my feet, followed Chris into our kitchen, and took a seat at the breakfast bar while he opened cupboards and proceeded to make the World's best Milos. "Remember when I told you about nearly drowning in a storm drain as a kid with my best friend?"
"Yeah."
"Elliot was that best friend."
"No shit?" Chris levered open the lid of the Milo tin and dipped in his spoon. "I just assumed your best friend was a girl."
"Nope. It was Elliot."
"Wait a minute," he said, pulling out the spoon and pointing it at me. "Was he also the best friend that ended up moving, the one you never saw again and missed like crazy?"
I covered my eyes with my hands and peeked through my barely spread fingers. "Maybe."
"Ha! This is all making perfect sense now."
"What is?" I dropped my hands from my face and reached for the tin.
He yanked it away. "Why you missed your best friend so much."
Looking to the ceiling, I searched for clarification, as if it was just dangling there above me like a monkey on a tree branch. "I don't get it. Why does it all make sense now?"
"He's a dude."
"Yeah … so?"
"Dudes and chicks that are best friends can't really be best friends until after they've fucked."
I facepalmed. "Oh my God, Chris. Not everyone needs to fuck."
"We did."
"Annnnnnnd we don't ever talk about that, remember?"
"Yeah, because we don't need to. We fucked. We got it over and done with. And now we're best friends."
I opened my mouth to object but snapped it shut instead. He had a point. Kinda.
"Ahhh, see?" Chris heaped a massive spoonful of Milo into his mouth. "I'm right."
"Don't double-dip-"
The shithead double-dipped.
"Do you have to do that? It's gross."
"It's all part of my Milo-making process."
Grumbling, I didn't argue with him, because I wanted his Milo-making process to include making me one.
"You still haven't answered how geek boy is back on the scene. When did this happen?"
"He's not a geek," I reiterated through gritted teeth. "And just this week. He thinks we're engaged."
Chris dropped the spoon in the tin and stared wide-eyed at me. "Da fuck?"
"Well, not really. At least I don't think he's serious about our childhood Cheezel engagement."
"Cheezel engagement?"
"Yeah. When we were eight-years-old, he gave me one of his Cheezels and asked me to marry him. I said yeah but that we'd have to wait until I was thirty."
Chris belly-laughed. "You're engaged, kiddo. A Cheezel proposal is the real deal."
"Ha ha. Very funny."
Leaning forward across the benchtop, he offered me a spoon of Milo. "Do I need to keep a close eye on him for you?"
I sighed and opened my mouth so he could feed it to me. "No," I mumbled, shaking my head and swallowing the malted chocolate heaven. "I would trust Elliot with my life if I had to. Honestly. Despite having not seen him for years, some things just never change. And although he's physically changed, I sense he's still the same Elliot." Shaking my head, as if to shake the newly formed craziness from within it, I wiped the corners of my lips. "These past few days have just been a bit full on, that's all. He's practically come out of nowhere. I'm still processing it all." I closed my eyes and massaged my temples to relieve the pressure that had begun to build there. "Not to mention he has a big, stupid mouth that told a big, stupid lie to our mothers."