Playing to Win(24)

"You know, I wanted to play hockey my whole life, but I wasn't any  good. I washed out. I was a horrible skater and I couldn't keep up with  the other kids, so I decided to pursue hockey in a way that I was good  at. I changed my focus to something more realistic. I took up sports  journalism and broadcasting and now I get to be close to the game I  love.

"There are opportunities to be part of hockey that don't involve  playing. Television stations would kill to have you as a commentator or  an analyst. Hell, Luke would love your help with the sledge hockey  foundation. But if you're not into that, there are hundreds of  sports-related charities dying for big names to bring them some  much-needed press and support. There are also a ton of hockey teams out  there, from the underprivileged ones all the way to the pros, who need  mentors, or assistants, or coaches. And all of them would consider it an  honor to have you aboard."

Holly got up and walked over to stand in front of Ethan. "So I guess  what I'm trying to say is, the only one who thinks you're stuck in that  chair is you." She grabbed the jersey from his slackened hands and held  it up. "Thanks for the autograph, by the way. My niece is going to love  it."

* * *

AFTER WARM HUGS with his parents and a promise that she'd come back to  visit soon, Holly and Luke and their luggage were back in his truck and  headed for the arena.

The game was amazing. Holly had never watched sledge hockey before and  she was in awe. The kids were strapped into their sleds and propelled  themselves around the ice with what looked like elongated miniature  hockey sticks in each hand. Luke did his best to commentate for her,  explaining how the butt end of the sticks had little metal teeth that  gripped the ice and how a flip of the wrist was all it took to go from  shooting the puck to speeding down the ice.

The logistics of the game hardly mattered as the game progressed. These  kids were playing their hearts out, loving every minute of it, and by  the time the Millerville Sled Dogs vanquished their opponents 3 – 1, Holly  was cheering as loudly as anyone in the arena.

She followed Luke down to the Sled Dogs's dressing room, and they stood outside the open door waiting for the coach's cue.

"Great job today, boys! So good, in fact, that somebody special wanted to stop by and congratulate you on your big win!"

From the moment Luke stepped into the dressing room, it was obvious the  kids loved him. Holly stood just outside the door, watching as he  high-fived everyone. She couldn't help but be impressed. These kids  weren't excited to see a premier hockey player-this wasn't a  hero-worship, get-an-autograph type of joy. The bond went deeper than  that. They were excited to see an old friend.                       
       
           


       

"Luke! You came!"

"Of course I did. You guys think I'm gonna miss watching you play such a  big game? Not for anything. And you were fantastic! You guys just made  the state finals! That's a really big deal."

"Says the man in the middle of a play-off run."

Luke brushed off the comment, and Holly really admired the way he kept  the focus on the kids. "I'm proud of you guys. You've worked so hard  this season, and all the practices and the focus is paying off. You have  a real shot at winning the state championship, and that's why I brought  an extraspecial surprise guest to get you ready for all the media and  interviews you guys are going to be doing! Please welcome Holly Evans!"

She waved as she stepped into the dressing room, laughing at the  excitement and all the hoots and hollers that greeted the announcement.

For the next few hours, she and Luke had a blast filming the kids,  asking silly questions and watching them emulate the interview styles of  their favorite hockey stars.

Holly was so caught up in talking with the kids, taking photos and  answering questions, that she didn't even notice when Luke slipped out  of the room. She found him sitting alone at the top of the bleachers,  hands in the pockets of his hoodie, staring out at the ice as the  Zamboni circled slowly, erasing the game they'd just witnessed.

"Wow. Those kids really love you."

Luke shook his head modestly, but a flush crept up his neck. His  embarrassment was so endearing Holly's insides went all squishy. "I get  more out of it than they do."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, taking a seat next to him. The painted wood was cold through her jeans. "How do you figure?"

"It's just awesome to see their joy. Their genuine love of the game.  Lots of guys lose that by the time they go pro. The people I play with,  the people I play against, there's not too many who still love it the  same way they did when they were kids. Too much bullshit creeps in.  Contracts, ice time, money and constant criticism from the media,  armchair athletes.

"But these kids are still pure. They still play for the love of the game. And when I see them happy, it just..."

"It just what?"

Luke shook his head. "Nothing. It's stupid."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Luke?"

He kept his eyes firmly on the ground for so long that she was sure he  wasn't going to tell her. She squeezed his shoulder to let him know that  was okay, but when she pulled her hand away, he met her gaze.

"It makes me hope that maybe, someday, Ethan will find a way to be  happy again, too, y'know? Some of these kids have never been able to  walk, and some of them were injured, like him. But this game, this team,  it makes them smile, despite all the shitty stuff they've been through.  I want that for my brother. Even for a second, I want him to remember  that life can be good. That we can be good. Like we used to be."

Luke pulled his hands from his pockets, tugged on the brim of his cap and continued.

"Ethan was a superstar. One of those kids that you knew was destined  for greatness. Scouts were sniffing around him by the time he was  twelve, keeping track, asking questions. He was just so goddamn good  that you couldn't help but notice him."

Luke shook his head. "At seventeen, my little brother scored the goal  that won our country a gold medal. At eighteen, he got drafted first  overall to the league. People had big hopes. And even though I was  jealous as hell of the kid, at how it all came so easily for him, I was  proud, too.

"Anyway, as fate would have it, he and I both ended up on the Wisconsin  Blades that year-his first year as a professional hockey player.  Because of our age gap, we'd never officially played hockey together.  Some pickup at the local rink, ball hockey in the driveway, sure, but  we'd never had matching jerseys, or been on the same line. And it was  awesome."

Luke laughed, and Holly realized that he'd left her. He was back in  that moment, reacting to some inside joke she couldn't hear.

"Seriously, I loved every second of that season, him down the center,  me on the left wing. We dominated. The Blades breezed through the  regular season and right into the play-offs. We thought nothing could  stop us. That championship had our name on it."                       
       
           


       

He was wringing his hands together, picking at his thumbnail, bouncing  his heel on the concrete beneath his foot. Agitation that would have  warned her the story was about to take a turn for the worse, had she not  already known.

"And then we hit the fifth game of the second round. We were up  three-one in the series, winning two-nothing in the second period. The  whistle blew and I headed for the bench. Then there was this thud behind  me, and it sounded like every fan in the building gasped, as if they'd  all gotten punched in the stomach at the same time."

There were tears in his eyes now, and he bent over, elbows on his  knees. And she knew that for him, just telling the story was a punch in  the gut.

"Everyone in the Blades bench was standing up, craning to see what had  happened. And when I turned, there was my little brother sprawled out on  his stomach on the ice, not moving at all. Still. Deathly still. I  dropped my stick and gloves and moved. I don't think I've ever skated so  fast or so slowly in my life.

"It took forever to get over there, and I was screaming his name.  People grabbed me, held me back. I remember them yelling, ‘Don't touch  him! You can't move him!' but at the time, the words meant nothing. I  just wanted to get to him. I just wanted him to wake up."

The tremble in his voice stole her breath.

"Then there were team doctors, and ambulance crews and spine boards.  And they took him away, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to  help him. He's my little brother, Holly. I was supposed to protect him!"

Luke scrubbed his hands over his face and she could feel his struggle  to pull himself together. With a sigh, he sat straight and tall on the  hard wooden bench, eyes still glassy with the old pain. She doubted he  knew there were tears streaming down his face.