Mom narrowed her eyes. “Hilarious, Slade.” She took a sip of her coffee. “You’re going to this interview.”
“For once, I agree with Slade.” Dad crossed the kitchen and refilled his mug.
“Mike! What are you talking about?” Mom stared at him like he’d turned into an alien.
Dad shrugged. “Slade’s right. He’s completely unqualified. I can’t figure out how you got Max’s mom to even consider—”
“We’re friends,” Mom interrupted. “Book club. Bunco parties.” She waved her hand dismissively. “She trusts me. I’ve told her all about Slade.”
Dad and I looked at each other, and I suspected we were thinking the same thing: If she really had told Max’s mom all about me, why would she give me an interview?
“Look,” I said. “I get why you guys want me to get a real job. You’ve never made me work, other than the toddler swim lessons and lifeguarding, which were my idea, by the way—”
“That’s what, a few hours a week?” Dad interrupted. “Since you’re only a substitute lifeguard this summer.”
I ignored him, focusing on Mom instead. “You gave me a car when I turned sixteen. You give me a decent allowance. You don’t—”
“Decent?” Dad interrupted. “Your allowance is more than I made while I worked my way through college.”
I rolled my eyes. “As I was saying, you don’t make me pay for my car insurance. Or gas for my car.” I sighed. “So I get it. But I’d really like to choose what jobs I apply for.”
Dad stroked his beard. “Karen, I believe our son is showing a modicum of sense. For once.”
Mom got all blinky-eyed again, then took a bite of her cereal and chewed for a long time.
Finally she spoke. “All right. I’ll make you a deal, Slade. I still want you to go to the interview. If Mrs. Gonzales doesn’t offer you the job, then you can apply for any job you want.” She frowned at me. “Except Victoria’s Secret.”
I glanced at Dad, who shrugged. “I’d take the deal if I were you.”
I nodded at Mom. “Deal.”
My parents had zero faith in me, but they showed it in different ways. Dad attacked me head on. Bs should be As. Cs were unacceptable, even though I got them all the time. Making state in swimming was good, but why didn’t I medal?
Mom was more subtle. “That’s great you got a B minus on that essay. But if you’d worked a little harder, it would’ve been an A. And by the way, how many laps did you swim today?”
Honestly, they’d both be shocked if I got a job offer. On one hand, I’d like to shock them.
On the other hand, actually getting the job sounded like a nightmare come true.
Mrs. Gonzales shoved a cookie platter under my nose. I took one with brown sugar and cinnamon. Snicker strudels? No, that wasn’t right. I took a bite. Whatever it was, I liked it.
“Slade, I’m so glad you’re interested in this job. Max just adores you.”
Max played on the floor with his mountain of rubber dinosaurs. Judging from his suspicious expression, he didn’t adore me. I grinned at him, but he focused his attention back on his T. rex battle.
Mrs. G. poured me a glass of iced tea. I started to drink it then noticed something weird inside the ice cubes. “Uh,” I held out the glass. “I think maybe there’s mold or something in the ice.”
She smiled. “It’s crushed mint leaf. For flavor.”
Wow. How did chicks come up with stuff like this? I took a sip. Not as good as Dad’s coffee, but not horrible.
“So, the job is Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, about nine hours a day, depending on our schedules,” said Mrs. G. “The kids go to church day camp on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you’ll have those days off. We’ll cover all the expenses of course, for outings and lunches, etc. The pay is ten dollars per hour.”
Two hundred seventy bucks a week just to hang out with a little kid? He couldn’t be that much trouble.
“That sounds good,” I said, hardly believing the words coming out of my mouth.
Mrs. G. smiled. “Your application was great, Slade. But can you answer a few more questions for me?”
“Sure.” I reached for another cookie. They were way better than my mom’s nasty granola bars, which I only ate so I wouldn’t hurt her feelings.
I’d filled the application with stuff I knew Mrs. G. wanted to hear. Like how much I loved kids (which was an exaggeration) and how I was CPR certified (which was true). And then I added a killer line about wanting a job that would be more meaningful than just working in the mall. Damn, I was good.