"Me too," Darcy chimes in.
"Thank you all for saying it. The problem isn't me worrying about whether he loves me or not-he's already told me he loves me. I just don't know if it's enough. His daughter has to come first, and I wouldn't have it any other way. She needs her parents to be together."
"No, Aud. She wants her parents together. She doesn't need it," Reina says.
"It's the same thing in her mind, and I won't have her let down because of me."
"I get it. Lord knows I understand all about Baby Daddy's and the angst that comes from them," Tegan tells me, "but Jeanne is going to realize pretty quickly-if she hasn't already-that her parents don't belong together. I wouldn't have stayed with Caleb if he hadn't come to his senses and stopped acting like an idiot. And he wouldn't have stayed with me if he didn't forgive me, and ask for his own forgiveness. We were both wrong about things, and we had to own those. From what I found out about Misha when I was researching her, she just throws money at her daughter, and only looks out for herself."
"Even after what she did, Jeanne deserves parents who care for her."
"Like a great dad, and an amazing step-mom," Faith says.
"We're nowhere near that point. Remember, the man was once a boy who broke my heart."
"Some teenage boys are idiots, but when they grow up into good men, they'll do everything they can to make up for it. Over and over again, even when you tell them they're forgiven."
"Complaining, Teeg?"
"Hell no. I told you I scream every night."
She also gets flowers at least once a week, and we take turns babysitting Ethan at least twice a week while Caleb romances her. In the grand scheme of things, what Caleb did to Tegan was much worse than what Blake did to me. There's no competition, because bullying and slut shaming are bad, whether it's your boyfriend or the boy you wish held that title. Hearts aren't selective when they're breaking, and you can grow up to be amazing while still remembering the girl you were back then.
Not one woman in the Society is free from insecurities. We have different ones, but they're all there, keeping us humble as we try to overcome them. Sometimes those tough conversations with ourselves are the hardest part of the day. I've been shot, and I know that while bullets hurt, they also heal. Words stay with you for a long time. More than twenty years, sometimes.
Chapter 12
Blake
I knew I wasn't prepared to see Audrey again, but I didn't realize just how much it would hurt, especially when she doesn't walk into the ball alone. I recognize the guy who's with her, and I know his reputation. My fists are clenched as I think about her in bed with him. Throwing her head back as she comes on his dick, taking his dick in her mouth. The comments I'm hearing around me aren't helping.
"I think Audrey gets sexier every time I see her. I wouldn't kick her out of my bed."
"I shouldn't be surprised that she's here with Joel Cruz. He may be young, but he's supposed to be a stud. You'd need to be. I mean, just look at her."
"And coupled with that brain of hers. I mean, damn, she's the total package. The perfect package."
"You have no idea," I think, or at least I thought I was only saying it in my head. When Misha glares and conversation stops, I realize I said it out loud. Oh well.
"You've been with Audrey?" the guy next to me asks, with more than a little bit of awe in his voice.
"I don't kiss and tell. Besides, aren't you all married? To the women standing next to you?"
One of the women laughs as she explains things to me. "Audrey is at the top of all of our free pass lists. And I doubt you'll find a woman or man in this room who won't tell you the same thing. If we had a chance, we'd all be in bed with her."
"What is so damn special about her? I know she's hot now, but you should've seen her in high school. She was the Nerd Queen, braces and glasses included."
"She's still brilliant, and that only makes her hotter. There's rumors that they've wanted to award her the Nobel Prize a few times, but she's turned them down, preferring to keep the attention off of her."
I'm not completely surprised by that. I understand why she can't be out there, accepting awards. She gets enough attention for being part of the Corrigan & Co. Foundation, but that probably works for going undercover. Being a Nobel Prize winning scientist would be a harder angle to work.
"You should see her volunteering with us," Melinda Brown says. "She's amazing with everyone at Opportunity Village."
"And she does every charity run here in town. All of the women who work for that foundation do. It's quite a sight, watching ten hot women running together. Especially at the Color Run, when they're being splashed with paint. I couldn't finish the race last year."
"I'm bored," Misha says. "Let's go talk to some other people."
She's not bored, she's fuming. Audrey is obviously the preferred choice of everyone here. Misha can't handle being second, or in this case, I'd say closer to twentieth, factoring in all The Society women, the Griffin wives, and a couple of their friends. In this room, their brains and compassion are just as alluring as their beauty.
Misha has the looks-and she's not stupid by any means-but she definitely lacks the compassion. It comes across loud and clear and diminishes her beauty, at least to those who care about more than putting her picture on a billboard. This crowd cares, and I doubt she'll find anyone here who would choose her over Audrey.
I give an apologetic smile to the couples we were standing with, and let myself be dragged away. When I see where she's going, I have to hold back a laugh. This is not going to go well for her, and I'm happy to stand back and let her crash. Especially after I heard her on the phone talking about boarding school for Jeanne today. Not going to happen. Never gonna happen. If I hadn't already vowed to be rid of her tomorrow, hearing her talk about sending our daughter away so we can have "alone" time would've sealed her fate.
"Hi," she says, approaching Candi Griffin. The world-renowned photographer looks her up and down, and then turns away. "Hello. I want to book a photo shoot."
"There's a two year waiting list," Candi tells her with a sigh. "Go online and add yourself to it if you'd like. I vet the list, though, so you may not get in."
"Don't you know who I am?"
"Yeah. I know exactly who you are," Candi tells her with a smile, and then turns to the side. "Hey, Aud, do you need any pictures for anything? Anything at all? Because I can fit you in any time you want."
"You bitch."
Candi stands up straighter before she answers. "Owned and accepted. Bye now."
She turns her back, but Misha's not giving up. She hates being ignored. Ryan Griffin is her next "victim." "You're Ryan Griffin."
"I am," he tells her with an amused smile.
"I need a house."
"I'm not building you one."
"My fiancé and I need something bigger," she insists, grabbing my arm, and pulling me towards her.
I hear a gasp, and know it's Audrey. Misha tries to hold onto me, but I pull away, and turn. I see Audrey moving through the crowd towards the door, and I start to go after her. "Where do you think you're going?" Misha asks, gripping me like her life depends on it.
I pull free and look her in the eye. "You just lied to hurt the woman I love, and now I'm going after her to remind her what a liar you are."
"What will Jeanne think?"
"Jeanne and I both want you gone tomorrow."
"What? No. We're back together."
"We're nothing, Misha. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Now let go of me."
"I'll ruin you. I'll ruin you both."
"Go ahead and try," I say as Reina nods at me. She'll take care of Misha.
I find Audrey outside, leaning on a short wall as she takes deep breaths. "She was lying. I'm not her fiancé. I'm not her anything."
"You're living with her."
I close the distance between us, and turn her to face me. I cup her face with one hand, and take her hand in my other one. "I never touched her. I swear it. I even put locks on my bedroom door."
"I bet that went over well," she says with a small laugh.
I shrug. "She tried to break in once, but it didn't work."
"You didn't have to lock her out."
"Yes, I did. She would've burned the house down if she'd walked in and found me getting myself off while I moaned your name."
"Blake."
"I miss you so much, Dree. So fucking much."
"I miss you, too. We need to talk."
"Tomorrow. Unless you'll be will the player, that is."
"Joel? You're not seriously jealous of Joel. He's like ten."