I need to try and clear my mind for at least a few minutes, so I open my email and start reading though the new offers my agent has sent me. More action films, a romantic comedy, and the chance to direct a play. Nothing exciting, at least not at first glance. When I look again, I smile, and grab my phone to call him.
"Hey, Blake. Did something jump out at you from my email."
"It did. The high school play."
"Really? I sent that because you tell me to send you everything, but it's almost no money, and will take months of your time."
"Good thing I have plenty of money and time to spare."
"You really want to move to Las Vegas for months to direct a high school play for some low income kids? What about Jeanne and school?"
"She wants tutors, and yes, there is no place I'd rather be than Las Vegas. Tell them I'll take it."
"It's your career," he grumbles.
"Yes it is," I remind him as I hang up.
It's also my life. I once settled for less than the best because I was young, and thought I needed to fit in. I'm not so young anymore, and it's time I finally listen to what my heart and mind are telling me. Right after I show my daughter that I can't have forever with her mother without losing myself. The role of a lifetime, and I'm not even being filmed.
Audrey
My friends are great, but I need a little bit of time alone. I sent them all away, with promises to call if I need anything at all. I walk around my apartment, looking at all the cool stuff I have, that suddenly doesn't matter anymore. The chemistry themed paintings Owen Griffin did for me, right alongside the photos of things from my lab that his wife, Candi, gave me for my last birthday. The sleek furniture that's combined with Day of the Dead decorations, merging my past and my present in a way that only Chloe Griffin could make work. Little knickknacks and vintage chemistry equipment from my friends. This is my life, and it's a good one. A great one by most people's standards, even. I know now that it's not enough for me.
My job, my things, even my friends-they're no longer enough for me. Not after I had the one glimpse of what my life could be like with Blake in it. I know I've always been waiting for him, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself. I've never let other guys get too close, because they weren't the boy who had broken my heart, but still had possession of it, even if he didn't know. For twenty years, I held out for a fantasy I didn't think I would ever really have, and for a boy who didn't deserve that kind of loyalty.
The man Blake has become is worthy of that kind of loyalty, and I'll give it to him openly and freely this time. I'll wait for him to figure out his situation, and if he decides that he wants to stay with Misha and make things real, I'll accept it. Until then, I'll consider him to still be mine. It's what we both want, and if we're lucky, it will all work out. I'm not naïve enough to think it will be easy, but I'll wait and see. It's out of my control right now anyway.
There's a knock on my door, and then Reina pokes her head inside. "Hey, I know you wanted to be alone, but I just got some information you need to know about."
"What is it?"
"Blake took a job directing a play at a local high school."
"What? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"No, and there's more. The city's heavy hitters want to open their pocketbooks for him and the school. There's going to be a gala."
"One I have to attend."
"As Director of Communications for the Corrigan & Co. Foundation, yes."
"Why did I let you give me that fake title again?"
"Because despite your super-powered brain, you got a degree in communications, and you're damn good at it."
"Oh yeah, that. Can I resign?"
"No."
"You're such a hard-ass."
"I know. Stella will have dresses ready for you to try on in 48 hours, and we'll get you jewelry and anything else you need."
"This isn't a competition. I told you it wasn't his idea to bring Misha back. It was mine."
"Maybe so, but she's not going to play fair, so neither are we."
"How I look won't matter. You know that."
"It may not matter, but you know that clothes speak silently to everyone in a room. You're going to make everyone in the room wish they were going home with you. Male or female."
"In a classy way."
"Of course. You're the classiest bitch I know."
"Did I do the right thing, Reina?"
"You're asking me for relationship advice? I'm in the most epic fake marriage in the history of the world."
"You know you want to tell me what you think. Go ahead. Hit me with the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
She plops down on my couch, as I laugh. "What?"
"I was just thinking about having the ever glamorous Reina Corrigan dropping onto my couch with such little finesse. What would the world think?"
She tosses a pillow at me. "'Ever glamorous,' huh? Did you not see me when we came back from Cyndryann, and I hadn't bathed in days?"
"I think I blocked that from my mind," I say. "Seriously, Rei. Are you okay? Being with Matt?"
"Not even a little bit. Every night I go to bed hoping that the man lying next to me will magically love me in the morning. And every morning I wake up to mind-bowing sex and no substance. Why can't I be enough for him? I don't know what else to do."
"You are enough. That man loves you more than anything. I don't know why he fights it so hard, but there's no one for him but you."
"I can't hear that. I need to be strong, and remember it's fake. There's only a few months left, and I need to be prepared," she says. "Enough about me. We're supposed to be talking about you."
"You don't always have to be strong," I tell her, taking her hand.
"Yes I do. The nature of the Society demands it. As long as I'm leading, I can't afford to show weakness."
"To the world maybe, but never to us. We all have your back, no matter what."
"I know. Thank you. Now, about Blake."
"It hasn't even been a day, and I already miss him."
"You did the right thing, for now at least. I know you, Aud. You may be one of the sexiest women on the planet, but you still see the girl in the glasses when you look in the mirror. The one who wasn't good enough for the popular boy. Now that the boy's grown up, and wants you, you're questioning it. Wondering if the cheerleader's going to swoop in and take him from you once again. You made the choice you did for Jeanne, yes, but also for you. When he comes back to you this time, you'll know he's really yours to keep."
"And when did mind reading come into play?"
"Not mind reading, just almost twelve years of shadowing the head of a secret society that helps women. I've seen it all, and heard it all. I've also watched you when you're with him. You were scared when you first saw him. Then you were nervous, and this morning before Ainsley dropped her bomb, you looked happy."
"I was happy."
"No. You looked happy. You wanted to be, but I could see the little seed of doubt."
"She's a freaking supermodel."
"You're a freaking Nobel Prize worthy scientist, who also looks like a supermodel."
"I haven't won the award, or walked a runway."
"Not for lack of trying by the Royal Swedish Academy of Science, or every designer who meets you. It's hard work convincing them every year that you can help more people if you stay in the shadows. One day you're going to have to let yourself be honored, and then you can own some runways."
"I'd never be able to go undercover again. At least now, while I'm in the public eye a little bit, I can still go incognito in most situations."
"I have a plan for that. Jane and the mentors like it, and I'll be telling everyone soon.
The mentors have kept their promise and stayed away from us. I know what they did was really bad, but I miss them. Maggie and I were extremely close, and I wish I could talk to her about this, too.
"Call Maggie. She'd love to hear from you," Reina says, getting up and walking to the door. "And one more thing. While I was watching you, I was also watching Blake. He loves you, Audrey, and there is no doubt in my mind that he's going to choose you. He already has, and that won't change because his ex-wife is temporarily in the picture. Even if she is a supermodel."
Chapter 11
Blake
"What is this?" Misha asks as I unlock the front door of our rental house.
"A house."
"No. It's a suite. Maybe a guest house, but this is definitely not a house."
"Well, it's home sweet home for the next two months, so you should get used to it."
"Our bedroom in La Jolla is bigger than this whole first floor."
"My bedroom might be, but yours was maybe half this size. Remember?"
"We both know that was a temporary situation."