Her eyes widened and her throat bobbed up and down as she swallowed hard. Her breathing accelerated as I gave her a minute to let my words sink it. If she wasn’t okay with being kissed good and hard, I was giving her plenty of time to say so. I had a feeling once my mouth connected with hers it would take a lot for me to stop.
“I think I want you to kiss me,” she whispered.
I looked down at her sweet mouth and bit at my lip ring. I tilted her head up to meet mine and moved in. I let my lips skim hers and they were every bit as soft as they looked. A tiny noise escaped her mouth and I lost it.
I pressed my lips to hers and experienced a new world. I closed my eyes and took her in. She threw her arms around my neck and melted into me. I felt her fingers in the hair at the back of my neck and then her mouth opened a bit and I took that as an invitation to deepen the kiss.
It was better than sex somehow. I’d had enough sex in my life, but this was deeper. This was different. It was being inside of her on a whole other level. I was letting her breathe me in. I was breathing her in and she was the breath I needed to take for most of my life.
Everything bad went away in that moment. She soothed every scar, took away every bad memory. She made me better. My eyes were closed, but there was so much light around us. At least it felt that way, and it heated my skin. I was absorbing a healing heat and it spread through me like a euphoric fire.
I kissed her until we were out of breath and hanging on to each other. Then I broke the kiss, took a deep breath, and went in for more. I couldn’t get enough. She clung to the front of my shirt like I was her savior and I thought that was fitting since, in so many ways, she was mine. She was the sense of peace I’d been searching for in all the wrong places.
She pulled away and took another deep breath and licked at her lips. It drove me wild. She tasted me the same way I tasted her and I liked it. She pressed herself tightly against me. Her body fit to mine like she was made specifically for me, and I was beginning to think she was.
She leaned up and kissed me again and I let her take control. She pressed up into our kiss as she got up on her knees beside me. I reached behind her and hooked my hands to her hips. She was above me, around me, inside me, and then she shocked me when she slipped one leg over me and straddled my thighs.
I broke the kiss and looked up at her. The usual panic wasn’t there. Her eyes were wide and full of excitement. They had the same glazed-over look as a girl in the middle of sex. Her hair hung down into my face as she showered my lips and cheeks with her soft, panting breaths. She looked too far gone, but she’d looked similar that night at my house, the night she stopped me with tears on her cheeks. I couldn’t go through that again. I’d explode.
“Maybe we should slow down,” I said.
I wanted to laugh out loud at that, but I was too afraid of ruining the moment. It was such a chick thing to say, but I didn’t want to push her too far. We’d already established the fact that she was nothing like the girls I was usually with. The last thing I wanted to do was freak her out again.
“Do you want to slow down?” she asked. Her brows bent down in confusion.
“Hell no, but you freaked out last time and I don’t want that to happen again,” I said honestly.
I felt her body tense up a little and she looked down at me like she was about to lay a massive confession on me. The expression was there for a brief moment before it cleared.
“I’m sorry I get scared. I wish I didn’t, but it’s not something I can help.”
I hated the thought of her being afraid of anything. When she was with me, fear should be the last thing on her mind. Patience brought out a protective streak in me that would strike down anyone if it meant keeping her safe. So the idea that I put fear in her heart disgusted me.
She looked away from me like she’d said too much, but I laid my hands on her cheeks and forced her to look at me. Her fingers dug into my shirt and wounded eyes met mine.
“Don’t ever be scared with me. I’d never do anything to hurt you and I’d destroy anyone who tried.”
Two things happened after that.
One: I was smacked in the face with the realization that I had feelings for Patience. It sucked and Lord knows I tried to keep it from happening, but they were there seated deep inside of me where I couldn’t get to them to clean them away, and after that point, I wasn’t sure I wanted them gone anymore.
Two: She closed her eyes and a single tear slipped down her face as a tiny smile spread across her mouth. She laid her cool hands on my cheeks and looked down at me like I was everything I’d never be and then she leaned down and kissed me like her life depended on it.