Playing Patience(56)

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, snowflake.”

I watched her face fall and I felt awful. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want her because God knew I did, but I just couldn’t take that chance.

She put her head down and fiddled with her fingers. “I don’t want to go home.”

And then I understood. It wasn’t that she wanted me; she just didn’t want to go home, and if she didn’t want to go home, there had to be a damn good reason.

“How about we go to the park for a bit?”

A tiny smile lifted the side of her mouth. “Okay.”

So I went to the park close to the Boy’s Club and we parked, but instead of making out, like most people did, we talked.

“So how’s your mom doing?” I asked.

“She has her good days and her bad days. Cancer’s a bitch.”

“Agreed.”

I didn’t have to tell her that my mom died from cancer as well. When she looked over at me and nodded, I knew she knew. And that’s how the next hour went. She told me about her sister, Sydney, and how close they were. She told me about her love of soccer and about the game she played earlier that day. As tiny as she was, I would’ve never known she was such a badass at soccer.

When it was my turn to talk, I told her about how the band got started and about the guys. I made her laugh a few times when I talked about Tiny and the girls that loved him. She asked questions, but nothing too personal and nothing I wasn’t willing to answer. She was so respectful of my privacy and I appreciated her for that. Not once did my dad or her dad come up. I was thankful she didn’t ask about mine and I knew better than to ask about hers.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

“Nah, just girls I’ve screwed around with.” I shrugged and stretched out my legs.

“Yeah, I heard you have a different woman every night.” She laughed, but it sounded forced.

“I used to, but not since I’ve met you.”

Her eyes crashed into mine. I wasn’t sure why I confessed that. Maybe it was because we’d been talking for so long and I was comfortable with her. I don’t know, but the minute the words left my mouth her eyes lit up. They were fluorescent-blue pools of emotion and I could tell my confession pleased her.

“Really? Why?”

I knew she’d ask me that and the truth was I didn’t know why.

“Maybe I’m waiting for you.” I looked over at her and grinned.

She took a shaky breath and looked away.

“You shouldn’t do that,” she said softly. “I don’t think I could be like the girls you’re used to.”

Good. I didn’t want her to be anything like the girls I was used to. I wanted her to be Patience, my snowflake, her own unique self. There was no one like her and I wouldn’t want her any other way.

“Good,” I said.

She shook her head. “No, not good.”

I reached over and pulled her closer to me. Her palms landed on my chest and she looked up at me. I didn’t miss the nervous expression on her face or the fact that her body shook a little.

“Yes, it’s very good.” I ran my fingers through her hair. “The first time I saw you I knew you were different. I think you’re perfect just the way you are.” And I meant that. I really did, but that didn’t mean I wanted to say it out loud.

I was already cursing myself for saying something so lame. Why was I sitting in my car sweet-talking this girl when what I should’ve been doing was trying to get in her panties?

She reached up and pushed my hair out of my face with her finger. She was so close I could feel her warm breath against my mouth. Her eyes glowed in the darkness as she stared up at me.

“I’m far from perfect. Trust me. I’m the most flawed person I know.” She turned away.

Cupping her chin, I turned her to face me again. Her lips looked so plump and moist, even being turned down in a frown. I wanted her to smile. I wanted it like I wanted my next breath, and I wanted to kiss her. I’d fought with that one for a while, but I definitely wanted to kiss her.

“Patience.” Her name came out on an exhale.

I let my hand slip around to the side of her neck. My fingers twirled in the soft baby hairs behind her ear.

“Yeah?”

We were both breathing so hard my car windows were fogged over. It was the first time in my life I’d fogged windows doing something other than sex.

She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear and bit at her lip like she knew what I was thinking. She closed her eyes and sighed when I ran my thumb across her bottom lip.

“I think I want to kiss you.”

There. I’d said it. It was out there and there was no taking it back. I hadn’t kissed a girl since I was fourteen. Mainly because it felt entirely too personal, but with Patience I wanted to be personal. I wanted to taste her in ways I hadn’t tasted other women, and kissing was the only way I could do that.