Playing Dirty(91)

I really didn’t need any more bad publicity.

The other thing I was guaranteed to wake with, and with which I woke every morning, was a massive erection. Colloquially referred to as ‘morning glory’, I had, since puberty, always woken with a full-blooded boner. Regardless of how much I’d drunk the night before or whatever else I might’ve done, my morning glory was always present and correct. I liked to think that this was because my cock was an optimist, eager for the new day and whatever opportunities that day might bring, and although those opportunities might not be present right now, there was no harm in being ready.

Just in case.

I also attributed my general happy disposition to this tendency; there was nothing like some morning wood to put you in a good mood for the day.

Right now that good mood was being thoroughly tested, however, as I hadn’t been gently awakened by time or the sun, nor even prodded awake by an urgent alarm. I’d been wrenched unwillingly from my slumber by the sudden roar of a vacuum cleaner. This was never a good way to wake, and for a man with a hangover it was doubly unpleasant, so I took a moment to remind myself that however much it felt like it, there was not a chainsaw being slowly pushed through into my ears.

“Fuck…what in the hell…?” I finally managed to grunt, prying sticky eyes open and looking for the evil perpetrator.

“Good morning, your Highness.”

I recognized the voice before the fuzzy outline resolved itself into a distinct figure through the haze of drink and tiredness. Keira smiled at me, and then continued to vacuum.

“Are you really vacuuming?” Either that or I’d been transported to the seventh circle of hell.

My head pounded as I sat up, and Keira smiled politely again. “Well spotted, your Highness,” she replied, her eyes gleaming.

When she was the one controlling the conversation, Keira was suddenly a whole lot cheekier and a whole lot less respectful. I wasn’t sure that was a good thing, but the thought of bending her over the bed and giving her a good spanking to teach her a lesson made my cock even harder.

“What time is it?”

“Eight o’clock.”

“In the morning?”

I’d been told that there was an eight o’clock in the morning, but I’d never personally wanted anything to do with it. I felt that one eight o’clock per day was enough, and the one in the evening suited me far better. “Why would you do this?” I asked, rubbing my head.

“It’s my job,” Keira pointed out.

“I was bloody well asleep.”

“Orders from the Queen,” she said. “Your room was to be cleaned whether you were awake or not.”

Through the fragments of my disordered mind, I wondered if I was being deliberately tortured by my mother or my maid. Both had the capacity to do it, both had the desire to do it, and though I was loath to admit it, both had cause.

Maybe they were even in it together.

“You couldn’t come back in…” I glanced at the clock. “Six hours?”

“Her Majesty seemed quite specific.”

It might have been my imagination but I was sure she was now revving the vacuum cleaner like a motorbike engine. Was that possible? I hadn’t had enough experience with vacuum cleaners to be sure.

Well, if she wanted to play dirty, then two could play at that game…

I threw back the covers to get out of bed and was pleased to see Keira almost drop the vacuum cleaner hose in shock. I didn’t sleep in the nude, but the boxers I wore did nothing to hide the erection currently tenting them. Keira’s eyes widened as she stared for what was obviously far longer than she intended to before snapping her gaze back to the vacuum cleaner and her work. She was bright red and flustered, far from the cocky girl she’d been mere moments ago, and I smiled to myself.

“Leave the vacuuming.” I felt that I had, quite rightly, regained the upper-hand. Somehow my prominent tumescence seemed to convey authority.

“But I…”

“There’s plenty of other cleaning to do—quieter cleaning. We both know you didn’t have to start with the vacuuming, but you damn well chose to. Very funny, but the joke’s over. Now make the bed. Please.”

For a moment, Keira looked in two minds, somewhere between capitulation and slapping me. Her discomfort at my sleazy behavior had seemingly swiftly turned into disgust and seethed from there into anger. But what could she do? This was her job. And right now, given how she had treated me, I was quite happy to exploit the weakness.

My erection leading the way, I stalked across the room to a chair and flopped down in it, still making no effort to hide myself, my boxers now looking like the big top at a circus.