I laughed. He always did a better job than anyone of making me feel relaxed and happy. I was definitely going to miss that if I had to head back to the States.
He pulled a pair of sweatpants over his delicious hips and grinned at me, shaking the water from his close-cropped hair. “So, what’s this email all about?”
I pushed my laptop towards him. “Can you read it for me?” I asked. “I can’t look at the screen right now. I feel sick.”
Jay pulled me into a close hug. Water from the shower was still clinging to his face and neck in tiny droplets, but I didn’t even mind. He smelled clean and masculine, just good, the kind of scent I wanted to bury myself in. I kissed his neck and gently bit the soft skin, and he groaned and nuzzled into me.
“Come on, let’s go to bed,” I whispered. “I don’t even want to look at this right now.”
Without waiting for a reply, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed my way down his chest, and Jay put his hands on my shoulders. I thought he was guiding me further down his body, so when he pushed me away, I was surprised.
He grinned at me. “You know how bloody strong my will has to be to decline sex with you, Kate?”
I blushed furiously. “So don’t decline,” I said, as casually as I could muster.
Jay shook his head. “Nope, sorry, but nice try. We’re looking at this email right now, and that’s that.”
He pulled me onto his lap, and I reluctantly pulled his computer towards us. My nerves were jangling and I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, slamming against my ribs to the tune of my anxiety. As I settled on his muscular thighs, Jay wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close.
“Just breathe for a minute, okay?” He nuzzled into the back of my neck. The sensation of his warm breath against my skin made me shiver, and I could feel goose bumps breaking out over my whole body. “Just relax. Know that whatever happens in this email, everything is going to be okay. I love you, Kate, and I’ll love you no matter what your producers have to say.”
I felt a tiny wave of calm break over me, and I grinned and blushed, glad that Jay was unable to see my face.
“Okay,” I said in a shaky voice. “Here goes nothing.”
I clicked on the subject line (‘Hello Kate, Please Read’) and took a deep breath. In front of me were several paragraphs of text that threatened to swarm together in one mass of black and white scribbles. I closed my eyes.
“I almost don’t want to know what it all says. It’s better not knowing sometimes, right?”
Jay chuckled, low and deep in his throat. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what it said already,” he replied. “Come on, Kate. Don’t drag this out any more than you already have.”
I frowned. “Okay,” I said. “I’m reading it now.”
Taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, I began to skim the first paragraph.
When I was finished with the whole email, I read it again, then once more, to be sure that I’d really understood what they were saying. My mouth was dry and I wanted to get off Jay’s lap but I felt like I couldn’t move.
“Well, what is it?” Jay shifted underneath me. “What happened? What did they say?”
I blinked. “They’re ending my show,” I said softly. “The ratings were too bad towards the end. But they’re giving me one more episode, which they say I can broadcast from here in England, to kind of wrap things up.”
I wiped a tear from my eyes. Even though it wasn’t the news I’d been hoping for, I couldn’t deny that I felt better for having read it. At least now I knew where I stood, and I could start to plan for the future.
“Oh, Kate,” Jay said. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and squeezed. “I’m so sorry. I know that isn’t what you wanted.”
I bit my lip. “It’s not, really,” I said. “But I guess this is how it had to end.” I slid off Jay’s lap and climbed to my feet. Already, miraculously, I was starting to feel better.
He frowned at me before giving me a cautious look. “So, how do you feel?”
I shrugged. “Not great,” I admitted. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen now. My future is in limbo.” I sighed and stretched, raising my arms high above my head. “I could do anything, I guess.”
He grinned. “You could be a zookeeper,” he said with a grin. “Or maybe a lion tamer.”
I rolled my eyes. “With you and your Manchester United lot, I feel like I already am a lion tamer.”
Jay winked at me and pulled me close. He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my face into his bare, muscular torso, wondering how I got to be so lucky. I had one of the hottest and most sensitive guys in the world rooting for me and my career. I’d never felt as supported as Jay had made me feel, and we’d barely known each other for a month!