28
Javier
The plan is insane. I know that beyond a shred of doubt, but it's not going to stop me from following through.
It's also not going to make me tell Chelsea what's really going on here, because if I did, she'd never go through with it.
But, as someone much wiser than me once said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And you know what? I'm really fucking tired of doing the same thing every time. I'm tired of being the bad guy, I'm tired of forcing myself to be the worst version of myself just to get myself through another day of hating who I am.
And so this time, I'm changing it up. This time, I choose to be the better version of me. It's not like it matters anymore anyways; none of it matters except making this right.
“Where are we going?” Chelsea yells next to me. We're in one of the Blackriver jeeps, the top down and the wind and the road roaring past us as I hurl us towards the airfield as fast as I can. In any other circumstances in the world, a drive through the night with the top down next to this girl would be fucking perfect. I've never actually had a night like that - one of those movie-scene memories with the perfect girl and the perfect night and all that shit. I've actually never had “perfect” at all.
That is, until I met Chelsea Archer.
“I'm making sure y-” I shake my head; not yet; “I’m making sure we get home! We're leaving this fucking country and these Blackriver assholes in the dust.”
It's a lie, but only half of one.
“We're going back to the States?”
I stare straight ahead, because I know if I look into those big blue eyes of hers, I'm lost; “Yeah, princess; the States.”
I'm thinking back on the first of three phone calls I made from the Blackriver outpost right before I knocked out the guard and ripped her the hell out of there. It's amazing how much change you can make happen with a single phone call sometimes; especially when that phone call is to the head of the C.I.A.
It's a phone call that's also the end of me. I know that, but I'm fine with it. Karma might be a motherfucker, but karma always gets paid.
And I’m way overdue.
We pull off the main road and roar up the dirt one through the trees to my airfield. Esteban's a good man, and sure enough, he's right where I asked him to be with the plane already revved up and ready. He's standing at the gate to meet us, face grim, and he slowly shakes his head at me as we screech to a halt.
I know he's not into the plan, he made that pretty clear over the phone, but I honestly don't care. I could try and explain to my old friend about debts and dues, and how I'm ready to settle up for the horrible shit I've done, but it'd be wasted breath. He doesn't have to agree with me. All he has to do is do me this one, last favor.
I grab Chelsea out of the jeep and we all run towards the plane. I can already see headlights back on the main road, and I swear under my breath as I help her up the steps into the plane. She's buckling her seatbelt, but when she sees Esteban come over to shake my hand and embrace me, her eyes narrow as confusion clouds her face.
“Wait, what are you doing?” She looks wildly at the headlights bouncing up the dirt road through the trees; “Get on the plane!”
But I know what happens if I get on that plane. And it's not jail that I'm worried about either, it’s the trouble and the hell that comes with me. If I get on that plane, she'll never be safe. They'll chase us forever, even if I do get thrown into jail with the key tossed away.
But if I stay here, and I get her the fuck out of here, she’s got a shot, and that’s one chance I'm willing to take. She's protected when she’s home.
I stay here. I take the heat and whatever hell and damnation comes with it.
Again, I’m way past due on karma.
“You're going to be fine, princess,” I say quietly before I press my lips to hers and kiss her fiercely. I kiss her with everything I have left, because Goddamnit, if I'm going to go down, I'm gonna get one more fucking perfect kiss with this perfect girl before I go.
There's so much more to say to her; so much I need to tell her, and so many things I want to explain. But there's just no more time.
“Get on the plane! Javier!!” She's screaming at me as Esteban climbs up into the seat next to her and revs the engine.
“Tell Logan and Quinn I’m sorry, for all of it.” She's starting to cry and I grab her face in my hands; “I'm sorry, Chelsea; I'm so sorry.”
“Javier!”
There’s headlights coming towards us, and it'll all be over soon. I kiss her once more; “I love you.”
I've literally never said those words to anyone in my life, and the pain is like a bullet through the heart. My face is grim as I nod to Esteban and the plane starts to move as I close the door and move away from the plane.