So, no, I’m not mad that Chet’s apparently been fucking one of his interns, I’m just sort of sad, I guess.
I open my phone, and almost like second nature, I’m scrolling down through my contacts until I see Hudson’s number there on my screen. It’s right where it’s been for over a year now, sitting there in front of my face with my thumb hanging half an inch above it but never actually touching it and actually going through with calling him. I don’t even know what the hell I’d say to him at this point, even though for a while I was so mad I even wrote down all the poisonous vitriol I wanted to hurl at him. But now- now it just seems like a faded and sad dream.
Wow, look at me. I’ve just been cheated on and dumped by my boyfriend, but all I can think about is the man who broke my heart a full year ago. I take a deep breath and look at the number once more, and I know it’s time; I know it’s time to let him go. I slide my thumb across his number, and before I can stop myself, I’m hitting the little red “x” there to delete the contact. And just like that, he’s gone.
P R E S E N T
There’s the usual fog that accompanies waking up when I first open my eyes, and as sunlight glows around the drawn curtains, I find myself lazily stretching as I yawn and roll over - right into Hudson. Suddenly I’m wide awake and panicking, and I jump out of bed and back away from it, as if being near him somehow makes it more real and more than I can handle right now. Holy shit, I slept with Hudson. My hand flies to my mouth as my eyes go wide, suddenly thinking of all the repercussions that could come of this; my campaign, the funding from Archer Holdings; God, the media if they got ahold of this?
I realize I’m pacing and chewing at my cuticles again, and I force myself to stop as I turn and look at him, still sleeping heavily in bed. The covers are pulled most of the way down on his torso as he lies on his stomach, and my eyes trace over the inked and scarred skin there; his back rising and falling slowly with his breathing. A flush creeps into my face as I think about last night with him, and how freaking incredible he felt in that first delicious moment of penetration. There’s a feeling of stinging guilt that I’m standing here regretting last night while I stare at the man that’s made me happier in one night than I’ve felt in a long time. But then the panic hits me again; fuck, I mean what if somebody heard us? My face gets hot as I try and think how loud I might have gotten the previous night. Or what if someone puts two-and-two together when they see that Hudson's bedroom door is wide open and his bed still made?
He stirs in the bed suddenly as he begins to wake up, and for some bizarre reason I’m suddenly keenly aware and awkward about the fact that I’m standing there naked, despite what happened the previous night. I grab the first thing I see - his dress shirt - and throw it on; quickly buttoning it as he opens his eyes and starts to sit up in bed.
“Morning,” He grins at me, blinking sleep from his eyes. God he looks incredible sitting in my bed like that; so peaceful, so naked, and so - I flush - so hard. He arches a brow at me and then smirks as he nods to the sizable tent in the sheet in his lap; “You know, as good as you look right now in that shirt, I think you should probably take it off and come back to bed, darlin.” And for a moment, doing just that sounds like the most amazing thing in the world.
…That is, until there’s a startling knock on my door and Erika’s chipper, annoying voice hollering through about the interview I need to to be ready to leave for in thirty minutes. And just like that, the fantasy of curling up with Hudson and letting the world just float away without us is shattered as the very real reality hits me like a ton of bricks.
“You need to get out of here!” I hiss at him, feeling panicked as I throw his pants at him.
His grin falters as his brow furrows; “Relax, Rea-”
“I can’t relax, Hudson; don’t fucking tell me to rela-”
“Reagan, it’s just one fucking interview for what, some stupid NYU school paper?” He’s sitting up on the edge of the bed while I run around the room like a crazy person trying to hide the signs of the previous night as I yank on my black dress pants and hunt around for a clean blouse; “Look just skip it.”
I whirl on him, feeling furious that he’s just sitting there while I’m in panic mode; “Because that would be stupid and a big mistake.”
He rolls his eyes; “Oh, please, a big mista-”
“Kind of like last night.”
He freezes, his eyes narrowing at me as a shadow passes over his face. I cringe, instantly feeling like a total crazy bitch for letting it slip out like that; “Shit, Hudson, I didn’t mean it like-”