Player (A Secret Baby Sports Romance)(84)

I can feel the eyes of everyone in the church piercing right into me. I shiver and put a hand reflectively over my stomach. I’m obviously not showing yet, but its like they all know.

And where the hell is Vivian? I’m scanning the alter, seeing the hole between Vince’s sister-in-law and one of his cousins up there where my one friendly face should be standing.

But she’s not there. My own sister wants no part of this sham, and I almost can’t even blame her.

Lorenzo tugs on my arm, pulling me forward down the aisle like a gallows walk. And all I can do is put one foot in front of the other, and try not to think about what comes at the end of it. I’m wishing for all the world that this wedding and my last one were reversed - that I was blackout drunk for this one.

And I wish to everything that I could remember the first.

“Here we are, dear,” Lorenzo says gruffly, turning to give me a brief hug as if we’re family already.

I can’t breathe.

“Do not disappoint me, or my son,” he says sharply into my ear.

I shiver as I turn to see Vince, standing beside the priest three steps above me on the alter. He’s not smiling, like he’s not happy to see me on this day. He’s smirking - gloating, like he’s won.

And maybe he has. Maybe I played the game of love and I-

I freeze as the word sticks in my brain.

Love.

It’s nothing I’ve ever said out loud throughout this whole thing - not a word I’ve even really thought until this every moment.

Love.

I say it again in my head, feel the raw heat of it spreading through my body as the word sits there inside my head. And it’s like the sudden crack of ice beneath your feet as it suddenly hits me.

I loved Austin. God, no, I do love Austin. More than anything I’ve ever felt in this world, I know without a second’s hesitation that it’s utterly and completely true.

The cocky, crude mouth, those piercing hazel eyes, that confident cowboy smile. The way he both infuriates me and sets me afire in ways I’ve never felt. The way he gets in under my skin in such a way that I never want him to leave it. The way for the first time in my entire life, I felt like I belonged somewhere - with the last man on this planet I should belong with.

I love him, and here I am at the alter about to sign my life and my heart to another man.

It’s the final, crushing blow before the tears just start to fall. It’s knowing I came so close to something wonderful, and knowing I can’t ever get back there. It’s knowing how wrong this is, and how unfair it is to lose like this.

It’s knowing I lost him.

I’m floundering, there at the bottom of the three steps up the alter, when Vince’s cousin and his brother’s wife quickly move to help me up.

“I know! It’s like a fairytale isn’t it!” His cousin gushes in my ear, obviously mistaking my meltdown as tears of happiness.

Vince grabs my arm as I finally make my way up to stand in front of him. “There, there, don’t be so emotional,” he mutters through his fake smile at me.

“Dearly beloved!”

The priest begins, but I almost don’t even hear the words as everything starts to fade around me. I don’t hear the verses from Corinthians, or the quote from Ephesians. I don’t hear the asking for the rings, and its not until Vince physically grabs my arm and gives me a small shake that I look up through my tears.

“She’s emotional,” he says brusquely to the concerned looking priest.

“Follow through, Natalie,” he mutters through the plastic grin on his face, pushing the ring onto my finger.

I shiver.

The priest clears his throat. “Ah, well then. Do you, Vincent Salvatore Capra take this woman to be your lawfully wedded-”

“I do,” Vince says sharply, cutting him off.

The priest turns to me. “And do you, Natalie Elizabeth Ames, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

The silence is deafening.

I’m blinking as I try and make my brain connect with my lips. But I’m not seeing Vince standing in front of me anymore. I’m seeing what was - what I almost had.

With Austin.

Vince grabs my wrist. “Natalie,” he hisses, his eyes looking furious as a murmur starts to ripple through the church.

And I can’t breathe.

“Uh, my dear?” The priest is smiling awkwardly at me.

“I-”

I swallow, feeling what feels like pressure slowly closing in on my throat as my pulse comes in short, staccato beats.

“Say the fucking words, Natalie,” Vince growls.

“I-”

There’s a sharp bang from the back of the church, and I hear a horrified gasp from the crowd.

“No, she doesn’t.”