She’s gone.
I bring the bottle to my lips and take a swig, followed by another.
And then a third.
I’m breathing heavily, my heart pounding in my chest as I bring the ring back up to my face.
I don’t quit at anything. I’ve worked my ass off to get from nothing to the place where I am now. I’ve chased after what I want with every single ounce of strength I have for my entire life.
But when the game’s over, it’s over.
Sometimes, you’ve just gotta know when to go pack up and go home.
The whiskey burns less and less the more I slug back. By the time it’s half gone, I’ve got an old Waylon Jennings record cranked up loud, my fist in the air, and the room blurring around me.
She’s gone.
And somewhere deep down, I knew this was always going to be like this. I knew it from the start and walked right into it.
Over the stereo, Waylon wails about a Good Hearted Woman, and “lovin’ a man in spite of his wicked ways” as I tilt the bottle back.
Walked right into a shot to the heart.
The world goes black.
41
Natalie
“He’s not coming, Natalie.”
There’s a cold feeling in my stomach as I turn away from the window of Vince’s downtown penthouse to look at him. He’s sitting at the dining room table across the large, marble-floored open-concept from me, his hands steepled in front of his face.
I’ve been staring out the window at nothing, like I’ve been doing for the past week and a half since I arrived here with a single suitcase and a mountain of regrets.
Since I walked out of Austin’s house and quietly closed that brief chapter of my life.
Calling Vince back, and listening to that little chuckle of triumph when he agreed to meet me felt like giving up. And coming back here - with everything that means and everything that will mean going forward - feels like quitting.
Because that’s exactly what it is.
But there was never any “winning” at this game, I know that now. This was certain from the start, and there was never anything else for me but this one path that I’ve been groomed to walk all my life.
Even if for one brief moment, I was silly enough to think there was.
I plaster a thin, strained smile at Vince, forcing the somber look from my face. “Hmm?”
Vince sighs, shaking his head. “Your experiment, Natalie. Your little walk on the slumming side.”
I tighten my mouth, shaking my head. “Vince-”
“No-no, dear, we’re past that.”
He smiles benevolently at me - the look he’s been giving me all week like he’s this magnanimous person, forgiving me for my sins.
“No more jealousy, and no more talk of the past.” His smile curls at the corners. “I thought we understood our arrangement.”
Our arrangement - the one that “settles the debt,” as Vince put it when we sat down on that awful day a week ago. The day I signed my soul away. Marriage, a baby as soon as possible, and the family “debt” goes away where Austin is concerned.
You do what you have to do.
Because even after the tabloid story - even after the pain, the betrayal, the humiliation, and the having to come back to Vince, I still can’t bring myself to hate the man that showed me for one brief moment that things could be different.
So now there’s a new ring on my finger and a new man who needs me to smile for the damn cameras.
I’m in a free-fall - stumbling in denial, in pain, and in a sort of numb state about how I got to this point. And I’m lost - lost and alone like I’ve never been before.
Of course, Vince doesn’t know - can’t know - about the pregnancy. Then again, neither does Austin, but that’s the way things will be - the way they have to be. The wedding is next week, booked the second Vince’s lawyer received the divorce papers Austin sent back signed.
So, I’ll marry Vince, and after -
I shudder, the same horrible breaking feeling inside that I’ve felt all week.
After the wedding, I’ll do what has to be done.
I haven’t yet - God no. Nothing has happened with Vince since my return, because I haven’t been able to stomach the idea of even sleeping in the same room.
I don’t know if I ever will.
After the wedding though, I’ll do what has to happen to make sure the debt is paid. It’ll have to be quick, so there’s no doubting it and no question from him that it’s his.
It’s such a psycho thought, like I’m one of those jaded player’s wives. But here I am, pulling the same card I once wrinkled my nose at even considering.
Because debts need to be settled, and even if part of me hates the cocky, smooth-talking Texas boy who I somehow let steal my heart, the other part of me won’t ever be able to.