“Oh my God, fuck this.” I grab his hands and shove them away from me before I’m pushing my way through the crowd away from him, turning only once to see his eyes glare at me as I slip away. I manage to come up to Chelsea at a different angle, mumbling out something about having an early work meeting before I give her a quick hug and skip out of the party as fast as I can.
It’s not until I’m in a cab that I feel like I’ve been holding my breath, and finally exhale in a sort of pent-up release. And I’m mad at myself, but I can’t actually pinpoint why. Is because I let Logan rile me up and tease me like that?
Or is it that more than anything, I wanted to stay and see where that went, and I’m mad at myself for chickening out and running away like I always do.
But the silence of the back of the cab has no answers, and the neon city roaring past the windows only leaves traces across my eyes.
21
Quinn
I’ve barely gotten home when I hear the rough pounding on my front door.
Ignore it; just ignore-
The pounding comes again; as strong, insistent and un-ignorable as the man I know it belongs to.
When he raps on the door a third time, I finally stomp across the loft and yank it open; “Logan, what the fuck do you-”
I moan as the my words are muffled into his lips as he grabs me roughly and kisses me, and I’m suddenly lost. I lean into him before I can stop myself, kissing him back before suddenly reason hits me like a shock of ice water. I shove him back and pull away, gasping as I bring a hand up to run my fingers over my lips, as if feeling for the evidence of our heat.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I yell at him, my eyes flashing fire as I shake my head; “You can’t just insert yourself into my life you know! You can’t just waltz in here and-”
“I’ll insert myself wherever I damn well choose.” He growls, before he silences me with another heavy kiss, his hands holding me tightly against him as he slips his tongue between my lips.
It’s even harder than the first time, but I somehow find the strength to push him back again, glaring at him as I shake my head; “No! You fucking animal, you don’t get to just show up whenever you want and do whatever you want with me!”
His jaw tightens as he glares at me, but this time he stays where he is. Of course he’s still barely six inches away from me, and the sheer heat of his proximity is already weakening me even though I’m trying to keep my face hard and my resolve strong. I will not be Logan Dempsey’s little plaything whenever he wants.
His eyes narrow before he shakes his head and turns away.
“Look,” I jab my finger at his back; “I didn’t ask for this whole thing between us in the first-”
He whirls back to me in a flash; “And you think I fucking did?! You think I like the guilt of walking around every fucking day knowing how fucked up what keeps happening between us is?” He whirls again, pacing across my floor as he shakes his head. And there’s something disarming about seeing that conflict on his face; something about the bareness of his words that has me slowing my breath and cooling my temper. I let the pent up breath inside out in a thin stream through my lips as I take a step towards him, trying to soften my face.
He turns quickly, his face dark as he slowly shakes his head at me; “Quinn, stop.”
“Stop what?”
He exhales and looks down; “Just- that. You can’t look at me like that.”
I wrinkle my brow at him; “Like what, exactly?”
“Like, that!” The sharpness in his words takes me by surprise, and my breath catches; “Every fucking time, Quinn, you look at me like that and I kiss you, and it has to stop.”
I can feel the temper rising up inside of me again; “Oh fuck you, asshole; I’m hardly twisting your damn arm here!”
“That’s not what I mean, dammit!” He growls, taking a step towards me; “I mean me kissing you has to stop,” He says, his voice deep and even; “Every fucking time this happens, I make the first move, and it’s fucking killing me inside because I know I shouldn’t be, and I know you're the last girl on the fucking planet I should be kissing or thinking about in that way.”
I can feel my heart racing in my ears as I stare into those deep, dark eyes; “So-”
“So that’s it, Quinn. I’m done kissing you.” He looks into my eyes, and I know what he means, and I want to so badly but I just don't know how; I just can’t make myself take that one step it would take.
“Yeah,” He says after five full, hanging seconds, a smirk on his face; “Yeah that’s what I thought.” He shakes his head and the voice inside my own is screaming at me. I know I should listen that voice that’s telling me to shut my damn mouth and just let him leave. But I silence that it; pushing that voice aside and burying it deep, and before I know it I’m grabbing Logan’s hand as he turns. Every fiber of my being is telling me not to, and I don’t even know what I’m doing here, but I just go for it.