Jordan too. The caress of his stare was different, but no less welcome.
“Welcome aboard, Your Highnesses. Please fasten your seatbelts; we are due to leave in two minutes.”
I straightened at the announcement, noticing that there was one male steward securing things in the cabin, and obviously pilots in the front of the plane, but for the most part it was just the five of us, setting out on an adventure.
“I could get used to this,” Mattie said. I turned my head to find her leaned back, arms above her head, blanket—where the fuck had that come from?—draped over her. “Might take a short nap before waking up in paradise.”
I laughed. She was a princess, but clearly Rafe lived in a step above her normal luxury. If only she had any clue how many steps it was above my normal.
Like she’d called the steward, he silently appeared, fancy face mask and some sort of spritzing spray in his hands. Mattie took them with a smile before squirting that shit all over herself and settling the mask on her eyes.
“It’s a moisture mist,” Rafe said, lips twitching. I must have looked like a stunned fish with my mouth opening and closing. “Flying is quite dehydrating.”
He lifted his head and made a hand signal to the steward, and in seconds I had my own little spray bottle, plus some cream, a face mask that was lined with the softest material I’d ever felt, and a few other things probably not necessary for a short flight.
“Whatever you need,” Rafe said. “Just ask.”
Jordan snorted from his seat. “You’re playing unfair now, bro. Wait until we’re on my home court.”
Rafe just shot him a smug smile. “Even there, I’ll win.”
I eyed Rafe with suspicion. “This new nice version of you is creeping me out. What are you up to?”
He laughed. The fucker actually laughed, and I didn’t like what it was doing to my insides—twisting and pulling at them, rearranging the place I’d kept Rafe since almost the first moment he’d insulted me.
“I’ve never been accused of being nice before,” he said as his laughter faded. Those blue eyes, though, were lighter than I’d seen for a long time.
“You’re happy to be going home, aren’t you?” I murmured, putting the pieces together.
I expected a brush-off; Rafe wasn’t one for a touchy, “share your feelings” moment. But he surprised me.
“Yeah, I am. I haven’t seen my brother and sister for many months, and my parents are getting on in years. I like to see them as much as I can.” He was staring at his hands, a contemplative look on his face. “Once upon a time, my home was a prison. When that changed, all of us embraced a different view of everything. Now we hold on to what’s important with a ferocity that scares most people.”
He lifted his gaze, and I barely managed not to gasp at the intensity there. “Does it scare you?” he asked softly.
Jordan was silent in front of me, but he was watching this closely, without interrupting his best friend.
“You piss me off, Prince Rafe,” I said without hesitation, “but for the most part, I’m not scared of you. Not in the way you might expect, anyway.”
He was about to reply when the plane started to move, the pilot announcing some more shit about winds and distance and turbulence. I missed most of it over the pounding of my heart, so loud it was drowning out all other sound.
What was fucking happening here?
Was Rafe playing some sort of game? Was it just a competition with Jordan that had his attitude changing?
Did I even care what it was? Or should I just ride out this time in my life, enjoying the moments I had?
“Stop thinking so hard,” Jordan said with a laugh. “I promise, whatever is running through that beautiful head of yours, you definitely have it wrong.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What makes you say that?”
His smile grew larger. “On instinct, you almost always expect the worst. You're realistic to the point of pessimism. And I get it, I really do; you were not raised to expect good things to happen to you. But this is not the same, Violet. It’s not.”
Dude already knew me better than he should.
“Time will prove it,” Rafe said suddenly from the side. “Only time will prove it for her, J. Let her have her thoughts.”
This one knew me as well, as if that didn’t pile more freak-out on top of my already healthy load.
I mean, I’d spent most of my life avoiding close relationships; even people I considered great friends like Meredith I’d always kept just on the outside of my deeper feelings. But these two, and Mattie and Nolan, they had all crept in.
They’d crept in without me even noticing, and now…
Now I had everything to lose.
Chapter 30
I didn't use the fancy mask or the fancy face spray and creams, but I did end up agreeing to answer twenty questions with Jordan, much to everyone’s amusement.
“How many countries have you visited?”
I snorted. “Uh, two. New America and the Switzerlands.”
He winked. “Knew that, but I wanted to warm you up with an easy one.”
“How many have you visited?” I asked, returning his snort.
He had to think about it for a minute. “I think almost all of them. Lots of royal engagements growing up, especially in my younger years.”
“I can’t imagine it,” I said, shaking my head. I legitimately couldn’t. “We grew up worlds apart. How the hell am I even here now?”
“Not all of our worlds were that far apart,” Rafe said without inflection.
I nailed him with a stern look. “Are you going to explain that or just continue with your random cryptic statements?”
He tilted his head like he was considering it. “I think I’ll continue being cryptic,” he said decisively.
I fought the urge to punch and kiss him. I really wanted to do both.
“Okay, next question,” Nolan said, interrupting. “Who is better in bed, Rafe or Jordan?”
His green eyes were alight with mirth, but beneath that, I could genuinely tell he wanted to know.
Two sets of eyes, other than his, were locked on me, and I fought against the nervous smile that wanted to cross my face. “I’m definitely not answering that,” I finally said. “I agreed to play with Jordan, not you.”
Nolan turned pleading eyes on the New American heir, but only got an annoyed glare in return.
“Okay, so what is your favorite memory?” Jordan said, bringing us back on track.
I had to stop and sift through all my memories. “Outside of events at the academy,” I finally said, “It was when my sensei gifted me my wakizashi blade. I had been working for months to prove myself worthy of the weapon, and at times, I never thought I’d make it.”
I could remember the moment with a startling clarity. My emotions had been so strong, so bitingly strong, that I doubted I’d ever forget.
My greatest achievement.
“You wield it like the old masters,” Rafe said. “It’s right to be proud of that achievement.”
One more compliment from him and I’d probably die of shock. Or possibly jump him right here on the plane.
Thankfully Jordan asked me more questions, most of them easy to answer.
My favorite drink: Water or grape juice.
My favorite food: Fruit Loops. The one treat I got growing up, and one of the few cereals to survive the Monarch War.
What I wanted to be when I graduated Arbon: Sports therapist.
Then a few harder ones…
My worst fear: Small, dark spaces. Rafe knew the reason why, but no one else did yet. They didn’t push me, but I knew they wanted to know. Thankfully, like true friends, they let me be.
And finally, the one that had been breaking my heart for most of my life: Where did I see myself in ten years?
It was the age-old question, the one asked to try and give someone goals and something to strive for. Or years to dread.
“I—” I cleared my throat. “I used to think about that question, and… honestly, for a long time, I just hoped to still be alive. And sometimes, in my darkest moments… I hoped I wouldn’t be.”
Fuck, that had slipped out when it shouldn’t have. It was too late to take it back now, so I hurried on, pushing through the tense silence.
“Now, I’m just hoping to be happy. Content. Maybe have a little money and my own place. Working in some job I don’t completely hate.”
Simple dreams, but I was a simple girl.
“Not fucking married to Alex,” Mattie piped up, lifting her mask. I wasn’t sure if she’d been sleeping or just pretending to, but either way, I was glad for her breaking up the tension-filled moment.
“And especially that,” I said, shaking my head.
“Never gonna happen,” Jordan growled, and I had to admit, it was nice to see that fire. He might have a gentle side, but I knew there was a will of steel beneath it. When it came out to play… yeah, I liked that a lot.
“Please take your seats, we will be landing in approximately eight minutes.”
The pilot’s voice filled the cabin, but since none of us were out of our seats, we didn’t move. The flight so far had been smooth; I’d almost forgotten I was even on a plane.
As we descended, I closed my eyes, composing myself as best I could. I was about to meet the most powerful royals in the world. And I was wearing jeans and a pretty knit sweater. I had hardly any makeup, hair down in long, unruly curls, and zero knowledge of etiquette. Oh, and a fresh bruise on my face. Fantastic.