Carter looked at the sign on the lawn. “The Charleston Chew Lofts, huh? Pretty sure no one at Silver Shores can eat Charleston Chews. Those things were always killer on the teeth. I chipped a baby tooth eating a frozen one once. Probably tougher on dentures.”
“The building is actually the old Charleston Chew Candy factory. It was converted into condos but still has a lot of the original factory details, like exposed brick and wooden beams. My place is small, only a studio that I can barely afford now that I’m a working girl, but the building has a great rooftop deck that I spend a lot of time on.” I pointed up to the top of the building. “I’ve spent hours staring up at the sky and thinking over the last few months.”
I had been looking up at my apartment building, and when I turned to Carter, I realized he had been staring at me. “What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Carter took our bags, and I led the way to my place. In the elevator, it felt almost surreal to be standing next to him again. Over the last year, I’d often dreamed of him being here with me. So it wasn’t surprising that I was currently feeling like I was in the middle of a hazy fantasy rather than reality. Which is probably why when the elevator doors opened on the third floor, I didn’t move.
“Is this your floor? You pushed three when we got in.”
“Oh. Yes. Sorry.”
I fumbled with my keys when I unlocked the door to my apartment. Once inside, I spun around holding my hands out. “This is your tour. You can pretty much see most of the place from here.”
Carter set our bags down and looked around. “Very nice. It’s modern but warm. It suits you.”
“Thank you. My neighbors on both sides work at the airlines, too. Gabby is in 310; she’s a flight attendant at Delta. Max in 314 is a pilot at American. We barbeque together once in a while on the rare occasion that our schedules are in sync.”
I caught Carter’s jaw tense. “A pilot lives next door?”
“Yes.”
He nodded.
The fact that he was restraining his comment made me offer more. “He just turned fifty-three and is thinking about retiring to Florida. Maybe when he gets a little older, he can be your neighbor.”
“Wiseass.”
I kicked my shoes off and walked to the refrigerator, grabbing us some drinks. “Speaking of Florida. How’s your posse? Muriel, Bertha, Gordon?”
Carter’s face fell. “Gordon’s not doing too good, actually. Had a stroke about four months ago, and the physical therapy isn’t going as well as they hoped. He lost complete use of one arm, and his speech is still pretty slurred.”
“That’s terrible. I’m so sorry. Does he have any family at all near you?”
“None. I took a few weeks of vacation after it happened to help him out. But when I’m gone for four or five days, he doesn’t get out much. Muriel and Bertha take turns looking in on him, but they can’t lift him. The physical therapist comes to the house to do his exercises, but other than that, it’s been tough on him.”
“He’s lucky he has you.”
“You mean Brucey.” Carter smiled.
“Yes, his wonderful son, Brucey.” I hesitated before continuing, unsure if I should be so forward. Ultimately, I decided what I wanted to say was about Carter and not us, so I said it. “You know…that first time we went to visit Gordon, and I realized that you were not only taking care of a man who was once a stranger to you, but you were letting him call you Brucey and filling the void of missing his son, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I was in love with you. Because you weren’t just this beautiful man on the outside who was fun to spend time with, you were just as beautiful on the inside.”
Carter stared at me. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “If you really loved me, how could you have left me, Kendall?”
Ashamed, I looked away. “I don’t know.”
“Do you regret it now?”
“I’ve regretted it every day since I left you in that airport bar.”
“So why didn’t you do something about it? You knew where to find me. You knew where I worked, where I lived…you knew everything there was to know about me for Christ’s sake.” He raked his fingers through his hair.
Even though I’d asked myself that same question over and over for the last year, I still had no answer. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Carter.”
After a few tense minutes, Carter spoke. “Are you hungry? Do you want to order something? Or do you want to get some sleep? You must get up early to work the shuttle.”
“I’m actually really tired.”