My shoulders started to shake long before the sound came. When it all hit me, I had to sit down in the snow, or I would have fallen over. As much as I tried to fight it, I couldn’t anymore. The sobs rose from deep within me, and I cried for all of the losses. For Lucy’s parents who never got to experience any of the joys that my parents had. For Lucy and Kendall, for letting them down because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants. And for the realization that…
Sometimes a Moment is a Lifetime
…and that’s all you get.
FIVE DAYS OF R&R didn’t help. I’d decided to forego visiting my parents even though I was only a short drive to their house. I was a mess, and if they’d seen me in this condition, it would only make them worry.
Sadly, I couldn’t wait to get back to work. Being in the air had become my home, and I was going stir crazy anywhere else. I arrived at Detroit airport three and a half hours early for my flight. The crew check-in hadn’t opened yet, so I headed to the Sky Lounge to get some breakfast while I waited. I’d just ordered a turkey and Swiss omelet and sat down to read the paper when a familiar voice called my name.
“Hey, Trip.”
Alexa Purdy was definitely not dressed in the standard-issue Captain’s uniform. She looked more like she was going to the beach than about to command a commercial flight. Her toned legs were long to begin with, but the short shorts she had on coupled with high heel sandals made her look like she could be a New York City Rockette.
“Alexa.” I nodded.
“Where you heading today?”
“New York. You?”
She gave me an I’m-going-to-eat-you-for-dinner smile and purred, “New York.”
“Flight plan had Ken Myers listed as my second.”
“Oh. I’m just a passenger. I was supposed to meet my friend in the city for a few days. But she cancelled on me at the last minute.” She pouted and flirtatiously swayed back and forth. “Now I’m all alone.”
I cleared my throat. “It’s a busy city. I’m sure you’ll find lots to do.”
Without being invited, she sat down across from me and tilted her head. “Do you still have that little blonde girlfriend? What was her name? Kylie?”
I didn’t bother to correct her because saying her name hurt too much. “It ended.”
Alexa didn’t even pretend to hide that my answer made her happy. “And how long are you in New York for, Trip?”
“Just the one night. Have a flight out to Copenhagen tomorrow evening.”
“One night, huh?”
I was grateful when the waiter came with my omelet. Even though I wasn’t really hungry, I dug in to occupy my mouth so I wouldn’t have to keep talking.
Alexa opted for a yogurt parfait and black coffee. With her tall, thin frame, long dark hair, and big brown eyes, she really was a beautiful woman. Although everything about her was pretty much the polar opposite of what Kendall looked like. If I remembered correctly, she was also the polar opposite of what Kendall was like in bed, too. While Kendall had a healthy sexual appetite, she liked for me to take the lead and play the dominant partner role in bed. Alexa, on the other hand, was aggressive and liked to remove the mystery of what made her tick by telling her lover very specifically what she wanted. At the time that had worked for me. It ensured there was a quick and easy happy ending for both of us. Since my time with her had been limited to a few layover romps, I was only anxious for a release followed by some good shut-eye.
Thinking about Alexa in that way made me feel angry with myself. But it also made me angry with Kendall. Over the last five days, I’d realized that her being pregnant with another man’s child wasn’t enough to make me run the other way. I now knew I would stick it out with her regardless of her being pregnant. It would be messy, but in my mind, she was worth whatever it took. Yet she’d left me before she was even certain I had a child. I’d gone from sad to angry and back a few times over the last few days. And my mood was currently in the angry zone.
For the next hour, Alexa and I caught up on some of the places we’d spent time and talked about who’d retired. Anything work related brought me a sense of comfort. Because it was all I fucking had anymore.
“Do you have a place booked for your layover yet?” she asked.
I hadn’t actually reserved anywhere because I hadn’t checked my flight assignment until I woke up this morning. “I’ll probably just stay at the JFK Radisson. I think that’s where they still put us up.”
“I have a room at the Plaza. What do you say, you come into the city with me and spend the night. We can go out dancing? Or if you’re not in the mood, we can skip the dancing and just go straight to bed.” She arched an eyebrow. Alexa was nothing if not a straight shooter.