Playboy Pilot(35)

Shit or get off the pot, Kendall.

Carter had no clue how badly I wanted to give everything to him. I just couldn’t allow myself to go there until my head was on straight, because there was no way I could compartmentalize sex with him, no way I could keep my emotions out of it. I had to be sure not only of his intentions, but my own before taking a step like that.

I heard a thump against the window.

What the hell?

Then came another thump.

After sliding the curtain to the side, I literally jumped at the sight of what met me. It was the face of an animal that I quickly realized was a camel. On top of said animal was Carter, who was smiling and waving like a lunatic.

“Open the window,” he mouthed.

I lifted the windowsill. “What the hell is going on?”

“Get dressed and get your beautiful ass out here. We’re riding this guy. Long pants would be best.”

“I’m not hopping on that thing.”

“Sadly, it’s not the first time you’ve said that to me,” he joked. “But this time, you’re not getting out of it. Come on! We only have him for an hour.”

Carter flashed his beautiful smile and one look at that chin dimple was the push I needed to get out of bed.

The desert heat was already scorching for so early in the day. Carter was off of the camel and standing next to Amari.

Our host smiled at me. “Good morning.” He petted the camel. “You guys have fun on Fouad here. After you’re done, I have a nice traditional Arabic breakfast waiting.”

“Thank you, Amari. That sounds great.”

“Amari’s gonna help us get on,” Carter said.

Amari got the animal to sit, then said, “Getting on is the hardest part. After that, it’s smooth sailing.” After he helped both of us onto the animal, he said, “Carter’s a pro at this. You’re in good hands.”

I whispered behind Carter’s back. “You seem to be a pro at everything.”

He turned around. “Except getting the one thing I really want.” He winked. “Just kidding, beautiful.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re right. I’m not.” Carter placed a tender kiss on my lips that was interrupted when the camel started moving forward.

“Off we go, I guess! How exactly does one direct a camel?” I asked.

“Actually, I have no idea. Camels don’t really respond if you try to steer them. But I’ve always had luck just going with the flow. The main thing is just not doing anything erratic to spook them out.”

Blinking to rid my eyes of sand that was blowing in the desert breeze, I leaned into Carter, relaxing my cheek onto his back. As always, I felt safe whenever he was in control.

We rode in silence for a while before I was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry about last night. It was stupid of me to do something like that if I had no intention of taking it all the way with you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I hope you understand where I was coming from, though.”

“I do.”

“When I finally take you, there’s not going to be any holding back. That’s why you need to be completely ready for it.”

“I know you’re not used to women thinking twice before opening their legs to you.”

“Do you not remember me telling you that I liked a challenge?”

“I remember.”

“I’m up for it, Perky. Don’t worry. I’ll wait as long you need me to.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead. Anything. You know that.”

“All of the women…never letting anyone in…even your career which assures you’re never in one place for too long…is it all because of Lucy?”

Silence.

God, I was such an idiot. Again.

After a few minutes, I finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Carter. I shouldn’t have asked that. It seems I just keep sticking my nose in places it doesn’t belong the last twelve hours. First the bathroom, now this. I was out of line. I hope you’re not upset.”

His voice was low. “I am upset, but it has nothing to do with you.”

Carter steered the camel down a small hill. It was nothing but sand for miles. And us. The few buildings that sporadically dotted the desert were no longer in sight. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“That’s the thing. I’ve never talked about Lucy. Not with anyone. My parents tried for a while, but they quickly realized they weren’t going to get anywhere and gave up. As horrible as it sounds, I just moved on. It’s been years since I let myself stop and think about everything that happened. Pretty sure I’ve thought about my life more in the last forty-eight hours than I have in the last fifteen years. Didn’t realize how much I was still holding onto.”