“Of course, Mom. Of course I forgive you.”
She started crying and I pulled her closely to me. I wrapped my arms around her, silently thanking any god that would listen. Maybe this was it. The breakthrough my mother needed in order to see the life she had carved out for herself. I cried along with her, burying my face into her hair as she scooped me into her lap. I hadn’t been in my mother’s lap for years. Since I was nothing but a child who stood tall enough to wrap my arms around her hips. She held me close, rocking me side to side as the two of us grieved with one another.
Grieved for our broken hearts and minds.
Mom kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”
My breathing shuddered. “I love you, too.”
“It’s done. I promise you, it’s over. He’s never coming back around. You have my word.”
“Thank you, Mommy. Thank you so much.”
She whispered. “I’ve missed hearing you call me that.”
Mom held me as the rain continued to batter against the window. Even though the thunder rolled away into the distance, the rain continued to flood our front lawn, drowning the grass seeds Mom and I always attempted to plant and grow during the summer months. I sighed as I pulled away, falling back to the mattress of the bed. And as Mom stood up, she reached for my hand.
“Want to watch a movie and make a pizza delivery guy drive out to us in this nonsense?”
I smiled. “Oh, hell yeah.”
She leveled her eyes with me before soft laughter fell from her lips. I took my mother’s hand, and together, we started down the hallways We slipped down the stairs in our socks, laughing and picking at one another as we crash-landed into the foyer. Mom went to grab her cell phone while I picked out a movie, and the only thing that raced through my mind was how things felt normal again.
How things felt good again.
“Pepperoni and pineapple?” Mom called out.
“And mushroom!”
Mom barked with laughter. “Thanks for the afterthought, kid.”
I giggled. “You’re welcome. Especially after you see what I’m gonna make us watch.”
“Please tell me it’s not another Rocky movie.”
And instead of answering her, I simply let the opening song do it for me.
Mom poked her head around the corner. “I’m ordering brownies instead of cinnamon bites for that one.”
“Hey,” I protested. “I like their cinnamon bites!”
She winked as she ducked back around the corner, wrapping up the order for our meal of the night. I sat down on the couch, watching my favorite Rocky movie make its entrance. But the second Mom came back into the room, a knock sounded at the door.
“Huh. Bit fast for a pizza guy, don’t you think?”
I shook my head, smiling. “I’ll get it. You sit down and watch this cinematic marvel.”
Mom groaned. “We’re watching The Notebook after this.”
“If I can stay awake through it, I’ll even promise to act like I’m paying attention.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha.”
I threw my head back with laughter as my mother’s voice. I hadn’t felt this carefree with her in a long time, and it felt wonderful. The last time we had a true girls’ night like this, I was just starting seventh grade. We’d watched Beauty and the Beast while wolfing down pasta from her favorite Italian place up the street, and ended up falling asleep together on the couch halfway through the second movie.
I couldn't wait to do the same thing tonight.
I reached for the doorknob as the rain finally slowed to a trickle. I smiled brightly as I greeted whoever the hell was at the door at six in the evening on a Thursday night. I expected it to be a few people. Allison, coming over to check on me. Clint, coming to grovel at my feet before I curb-stomped his face. Even Marina, coming to take another jab at me before she went and got off with her boyfriend.
But, I sure as hell didn’t expect to see Michael. Soaking wet. Dripping with venom from his lips and angry eyes that widened as I appeared at the doorway.
“You hooked up with Clinton Clarke? Are you fucking kidding me?”
And just like that, things were not-so-good again.
26
Clinton
“Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!”
The crowd chanted as another double shot got shoved into my hand. Girls reached out for me as Roy slapped me on the back, cheering me on yet another time. I’d lost count of how many of these I’d had. I didn’t have a damn clue how full my stomach was of vodka. The only things I was aware of was the smell of Marina’s backyard pool and the chanting, laughter and clapping as I drank all these assholes under the damn table.
I had numbed myself so I wouldn’t feel the pain of losing Rae.
“Yeah, Clint! Get it!”
Everyone clapped as I threw back the clear liquid. I opened my throat, allowing it to slide directly into my stomach without so much as swallowing. Fucking hell, I’d gotten too good at that. And it felt marvelous. Kind of. In a way.
Why didn’t this feel as good as it used to?
“Care for another one, big boy?”
“Eat some peanuts first.”
“Want a sip of my margarita? Tequila always gets me ready for another round.”
“Woo! Clint! Come jump in the pool with me!”
I felt someone tugging at me and I ripped back. I leaned against the bar counter with a smirk on my face, gazing at the horde of people around me. Girls in their bikinis and their barely-there tits. Girls with slim hips and tiny waists and long legs ready to wrap themselves around me. Dyed blond hair flashed, as the alcohol-soaked girls that had come to have a good time and be admired preened and strutted.
And yet, my mind still drifted back to Rae.
It’s better this way.
“You can do one with me, right?” Roy asked.
I felt him shove another shot in my hand before he raised up his own. We clinked our shot glasses together before throwing them back, and I felt my world tilt in on itself. For a split second, I stood on the sky, looking down at the stars and the cloudy night before gazing up at the pool, the grass, the concrete and the people walking around.
You’re gonna be sick tonight, jackass.
With a blink of my eye, the world righted itself. But my stomach didn’t feel well. I drew in some deep breaths, trying to keep it all down and not get sick on myself. This crowd of assholes would spread it around school come Monday. I slumped against one of the bar stools as the girls walked away, jumping into the pool and shrieking in delight. Marina beckoned for Roy, swaying her hips and jiggling those small tits of hers, and Roy clapped me against the shoulder as he headed for his lay of the night. I sat there with thoughts of Rae floating around in the alcohol that swirled around my brain.
She deserves better than you, dickweed.
I scoffed as I closed my eyes. I swallowed hard a few times, trying to settle the bile creeping up the back of my damn throat. I mean, how long could I have expected us to last, anyway? Rae would have left me the second something better came along. I knew how women worked. What they wanted out of life. They were all the same, once I stripped back the clothes and the soft demeanors. And knowing my luck, something better would have come along sooner rather than later.
Just when I’d started to fall for her.
Get up, asshole. You need water.
But I didn’t want to get up.
“And this is Clint,” Roy said.
The giggle that filled my ear caused me to open my eyes, and I found myself staring at a very pretty girl. Short red hair. Freckles all across her face and bright brown eyes. A slim figure not at all concealed in a string bikini. She looked like the rest of the girls here. A bit too long-legged. A bit too buck-toothed. A bit too much waterproof makeup and absolutely no curves in sight.
I nodded. “Hey there.”
The girl giggled. “Hi.”
Roy smiled proudly. “This, my friend, is Lindsey.”
I licked my lips. “Nice to meet you.”
She nodded. “You, too. I, uh, saw you over here. With those shots.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “You like what you see?”
And when she blushed, I had my answer.
Roy cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll let you two get to know one another. Clint.”
“Yep?”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do.”
I rolled my eyes as the girl let out another soft giggle. A forced one. One that probably got her into Roy’s good graces in the first place. I appreciated the effort, but I wasn’t into it. Lindsey was a pretty girl, but she wasn’t Rae.
Still, though, she sat next to me at the bar.
“Do you come to these parties often?”
I slowly panned my eyes over to her. “Yep. You?”
She shook her head. “No. First time ever being invited.”
“Is it everything you could have hoped for, and more?”
“That depends. What are you doing later on?”
My cockeyed grin spread across my face, but I didn’t make a move for her. She wasn’t my type. Wasn’t my style. And I had no issues letting her know it. I lobbed my head over to see her and found her blushing again. Tainting that creamy skin of hers that, in any other world, would have had me on my knees ready to give her the attention she wanted.
Tonight, however, was different.
I chuckled. “I’m sleeping off this alcohol and trying not to wake up with a bleeding hangover in the morning.”