Play Fair(65)

I took a deep breath and looked past Amelia…Emily’s shoulder toward the street. The last thing we needed was to be having any more of this confrontation in the front yard. I opened the door a little wider and motioned for her to come inside. She stayed rooted in place. “Well?”

She peeked up at Smith through her greasy bangs, her eyes bloodshot from all the crying earlier. She nodded and then followed us into the dining room. I didn’t want her at our table. I didn’t want her to sit where my daughter sat. It was almost like her very presence was tainting the room, stealing all of Landry’s joy out of it. She wrung her hands together. I wondered if I was the only one who noticed the tremble in them. “What do you want to know?”

“Why did you say the baby was mine? Jacks and I are in the same band, the same record label. You would’ve gotten your money regardless.” Smith reached out his hand when Dylan walked into the room. He tucked her into his side. He wanted her with him; he always wanted her by his side. I looked toward the backyard. As much as I felt the same way about Bryan, I’d rather her be with Landry.

“At first I didn’t tell anyone anything.” Emily started to chew on her lower lip. “But your dad, he saw me at the grocery store. He grabbed me, lifted my shirt. He always was a sick bastard, wasn’t he?” She shrugged. “He asked whose it was. Told him it was some guy in a band. He asked if it was Jared’s. Guess he thought the same thing you did. I told him no. I told him it was some other guy. But he said I needed to claim the baby was yours, that that was the only way I’d see any money. He said he could sell the story, said he’d split the profits.”

“And you agreed with him? How fucking sick are you? You would rather get into bed with my old man than just tell the truth? Just ask us for help?” Smith was starting to lose it. I felt for him. He hated his father, and it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the bullshit that came along with his family.

“I needed money! I had a baby on the way. My parents weren’t going to help me. What was I supposed to do?” She looked down at the table, tracing the grooves in the wood.

I sat down next to her, “Why didn’t you just tell me? Just contact me? You obviously knew she was mine. You put my name on her birth certificate.”

She let out a quick laugh, void of any humor. “We fucked in the bathroom stall of a rundown roadside bar. You didn’t give me a second glance after you were done. You never even asked me my name. So when Smith’s dad handed me an out, I went with the devil I knew.”

“I’m sorry.” My voice cracked on the words. I felt like utter shit. I’d been the worst type of man. “I’m sorry I treated you like that. I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t count on me, couldn’t come to me.” I shook my head. “But that doesn’t excuse the way you treated Landry. What happened to the money, Emily?”

Her eyes went to Smith. “His old man took some every month. He said if I didn’t keep giving him a cut that he would tell everyone I’d lied, that I was extorting the band. Smith got out, he got away. I didn’t. I was my own worst nightmare, raising my fatherless child in the trailer park.” She didn’t have to tell us the rest of her story; it was written all over her face, her body. The money went to drugs, to booze, to numb the pain of her life, and Landry was a casualty.

“Don’t you want better for her? Don’t you want more out of life for our daughter?”

She sobbed, “Yes.”

“Then let her stay with me. Don’t fight for custody.” I was pleading with her. I would get on my knees if I had to.

“How will I know if she’s okay? How will I know if she’s safe?”

“Because you can come check on her.” Bryan was standing at the backdoor, Landry’s small hand in hers. “You can call if you want…or come see her…” She looked down at Landry. “But you have to be clean. You have to be sober. We won’t let you come in and let her down. She deserves more than that, and you know it.”

Emily got up and kneeled on the floor at Landry’s feet. “I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry for everything.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “You can stay here with your dad. I won’t make you choose.” Landry let go of B’s hand and threw her arms around her mom’s neck. They held each other for a while before Emily stepped back and placed a kiss on Landry’s forehead. “I love you, baby.”





Chapter Thirty


Bryan

Jacks told Landry’s mom that he wouldn’t tell the label about what happened. He said that as long as she stopped giving money to Smith’s dad and entered in-patient rehab, she could keep her checks. But she would need to prove both. She called CPS from our living room and Diane came over with paperwork signing away her parental rights. It was hard, and she cried, but in the end she was finally the mother Landry deserved. By giving her up, she got to keep her. I wouldn’t go back on my word. I’d make sure that she’d get to see Landry whenever she wanted, as long as she stayed clean and healthy.