Her stomach rumbled. Food first, angst later.
Rob placed a plate of eggs, fried mushrooms and bacon in front of Anjuli before serving himself and sitting opposite. Anjuli occupied herself with pouring hot water over mint leaves, then smelling the infusion to calm her nerves. Rob had that look on his face, the one that said he wanted a deep and meaningful. Breakfast in front of her, it was time for the angst.
“I appreciate what you did for me last night,” she said hesitantly. “It was very kind of you.”
Rob put down his fork. “Kindness had nothing to do with it, lass.”
“Friendship, then.”
He chewed his bacon, regarding her silently. How could he sit there, calmly eating when she felt as if she’d put one piece of food in her mouth and choke? His unnerving scrutiny lasted the entire weather forecast, during which she pushed the food around her plate. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, with him staring at her like that, as if any second he was going to forgo his eggs to have her instead.
Rob finished his breakfast and reached his hand across the table. Anjuli’s heart leapt into her throat and before she knew it her chair was slamming back and she was at the kitchen door.
* * *
Oh no you don’t, lass. Rob caught her in the entrance hall. “No more running, Anjuli,” he said, tugging her hair back to give her a kiss that would leave her in no doubt he meant it.
Anjuli pulled her lips away and pushed at his chest. “There’s still so much between us, so much I don’t know about you, things I have to tell you about me. I have to talk to you about the house and you’re going to America and—”
Another kiss, this one deeper, more forceful because he couldn’t help how much he wanted her, showing her his need until she was clinging to his arms, her luscious body pressed against his. She was grasping at straws and he was going to caress her until the only thing she wanted to grasp was him. For the rest of their lives, if he had his way. It was time she knew everything about him. Absolutely everything. Reluctantly, he let her break the kiss and step away, but not too far.
Her face was flushed with pleasure, but her expression was grim. “I have to talk to you about the restoration,” she said.
“Talking about the house and the job in America can wait,” he said, willing himself to take a leap of faith. “Last night you told me something close to your heart, something that defines the person you are and now it’s my turn. I want you to know what nobody else does except Mac and Ben.”
Her mouth opened and she looked him up and down in dismay. “Oh God, please tell me you’re not gay.”
Rob laughed. “Only in as much as I’m very happy right now.” He sobered, then took a deep breath. “A few days before the wedding I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.”
Anjuli gasped and her eyes widened, but he held up his hand and pre-empted her from speaking. “Here me out, lass, this has been a long time coming. I’d been to the doctor and had some tests, but I didn’t say anything to you because I didn’t want you to worry. I thought it was nothing, but it wasn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Every time I tried, I couldn’t. And...I was a coward,” he said angrily. “I’m no’ proud of that, believe me.”
Anjuli’s face had gone a light shade of green, and her hand was over her mouth. She stared at him in disbelief, as though he’d suddenly go up in smoke. “You had cancer?” she rasped.
“I was going to tell you the morning of our wedding, but when I went to your house you weren’t there. I thought you might’ve gone off to get ready somewhere else, and I waited for you outside the church, but then you didn’t show and...”
“Oh my God,” Anjuli whispered, backing away. “Mac never said...I would have come back. I never would have left, not if I’d known.”
“Exactly,” he said grimly. “I was angry, aye, but I didn’t answer your calls or letters because I didn’t want you to stay with me, or come back and marry me out of pity. I made Mac promise not to say a word. The supposed girlfriend Mrs. P. told you about was Liliana Mederos, one of the doctors at the practice in Halton. Yes, she wanted more than friendship, but I was still in love with you, going through hell. She helped me through my treatment and we’ve kept in touch.”
A flash of jealousy, quickly concealed. “I should have been here.”
“And I should have been a better man. I had a lot of time to think about my life and our relationship as I faced my mortality,” he said quietly. “I realised I hadn’t given you what you needed, that I was more concerned with my professional future than with yours. I was jealous, as possessive as you accused. Selfish. I didn’t want you to be gone for long stretches but then you were gone forever and it was too late. When I was finally able I travelled the world, because you had wanted us to. And every second, I wished that you were at my side.”